We’ve decided – finally – where we’re going for our summer vacation. After much argument, deliberation, cogitation, mastication and prestidigitation, we’ve decided we’ll go to …
… wait for it, wait for it …
If the past couple of weeks are any guide, Cromer will be basking in sunshine. Here is Cromer, yesterday afternoon. Blue(ish) skies, warm golden sand, and nary a living soul within half a mile. You could hardly ask more from, say, Jamaica.
Cromer has the distinct advantage for us in that we already live there, so we’ll be paying £0 for holiday accommodation, transport, pet-sitting services and so on and so forth (notwithstanding inasmuch as which, three days in Paris during the Easter Holidays has fair cleaned us out).
But wait, there’s more.
We’ll also be doing without airline cabin-crew disputes, volcanic outfall, terrorist outrages and all the tzores to which modern travel is heir. And even when you arrive in Thailand, say, or, as it may be, Jamaica, you might be walking into a political dispute, a drug-fuelled war zone or get eaten by sharks.
But soft: political strife is virtually unknown in Cromer; machine-gun toting drug lords have never holed themselves up on the Pier, nor, yea, in Mary Jane’s Fish and Chip shop. Cromer is hardly ever witness to typhoons, hurricanes, earthquakes, or tsunamis. Cromer has as yet been unbesmirched by international jihadist outrages. The wildlife, such as it is, is generally unthreatening,
Given this background, purveyors of Luxury Holidays to Exotic Places clearly see Cromer as competition, as well they might. Here, for example, is a picture from the latest brochure from Messrs Hayes and Jarvis.
The choice, Ladies and Gentlemen, is yours. Spend a fortune and overcome all kinds of trials and hassle to get to a beautiful, deserted beach in the Caribbean, and possibly endure a lot more trials and hassle when you finally get there.
If your choice is the first, well, you’re welcome to it – there’ll be even more space here in Cromer for the rest of us.