I have been deluged with this photograph from my friend Professor Trellis of North Wales.
‘I’ve become deeply disturbed by the way non-Newtonian physics is permeating everyday life,’ [Professor Trellis writes]
I purchased [the roasting tin] as a simple kitchen implement. Nothing fancy, just a passive device, as you might say. Then I saw the branding… It has 2 layers of Quantum 2 coating… Now. Does that mean that it does double the chance of being both either there or not-there? Or are the permutations of a higher order? What percentage chance will I have of finding it in the cupboard on any one occasion? I might have to ask a cosmologist. Then there is the anti-warp base. This REALLY worries me… Do the manufacturers think that there is a basic flaw in the framework of the space/time continuum that NEEDS to be protected against, even in kitchen utensils….? I think we ought to be told….
Answers, as ever, to the usual address: third park bench on the left, The Esplanade, Cromer.
Professor Trellis misses the most important point: it seems quantum uncertainty has turned a square tin into a rounded rectangle.
If you roast a cat in it, are you going to end up going hungry?
It seems important* to know this.
*not really
Wot Brian said.
In related news, I’ve learned that the “time remaining” display on my washing machine completely defies the usual laws of time. A grant to study this phenomenon further is in preparation.
I suspect that the apparent rectangular shape is due to the speed with which the tray is being removed from the oven… Length distortion due to the relativistic effect, and so forth…
This is clearly a contest between relativistic physics and quantum physics. Why else would they build in antiwarp measures? Are they trying to keep us in the local spacetime frame?
Clearly the cat is welll roasted and definitely dead – therefore the quantum roast tin is on its way out of the oven. – So was the cat alive when it went in?
Quite. I think.