Today is National Poetry Day. Fellow Occam’s Typist Professor S. C. of London, learning that it was not, as he had thought, World Poetry Day (this happened in March), wondered whether it would therefore not be meet to celebrate the works of his favourite poets, Yeats, and Heaney, who were Irishmen. Well, as a child of Jewish immigrants about to write a pastiche of the work of a notoriously antisemitic French-born English poet, I felt I could hardly take position on this, and referred him instead to the Daily Mail.
But I digress.
About Michael, who was Cursed with Indecision, and Suffered the Consequences
(with apologies to Hilaire Belloc)
There was a man called Michael Gove
He was an indecisive cove.
He woke one day to find his station
Minister for Education!
As a journalist he’d tried
To strike a balance, broad and wide
(Aforetime he had flexed his nib
Under the name of E. J. Thribb.)
The application of such rules
Proved inappropriate for schools.
On Monday he’d resolved to go
In one direction – to and fro.
On Tuesday he’d be in a stew:
Would things be better, fro and to?
The staff whose job, to bash the truth
Into Britain’s feckless youth
Told him that such vacillation
Was no good for education.
They told him “Now, we’ve had it Mike -
“We’re going to call an all-out strike!”
It caused the most immense kerfuffle.
Then came a cabinet reshuffle.
The PM called him on the phone
And told him in stentorian tones,
“There’s one thing I cannot abide -
A minister who can’t decide.
Dash it Sir, my patience fails,
Go be Minister for Wales.”