{"id":1960,"date":"2019-01-13T05:52:18","date_gmt":"2019-01-13T05:52:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/?p=1960"},"modified":"2025-01-30T07:45:39","modified_gmt":"2025-01-30T07:45:39","slug":"the-new-awkward","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2019\/01\/13\/the-new-awkward\/","title":{"rendered":"The New Awkward"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"width: 540px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail\" src=\"https:\/\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/1e\/5a\/26\/1e5a26ed156dc0ab4af76d774c33e131.jpg\" alt=\"Ah you see, this vulnerability-plus-authenticity-thing, it\u2019s a new skill I learned recently. It\u2019s only awkward if you make it so*.\" width=\"501\" height=\"51.5\"><p class=\"wp-caption-text\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail\" src=\"https:\/\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/55\/9a\/d6\/559ad6f517dc2005dca1c96954f99ead.jpg\" alt=\"I LOVE the vulnerability + authenticity thing! I'm for making anything that isn't this, the new awkward.\" width=\"515\" height=\"57\"> <em>WhatsApp. It&#8217;s like Twitter, but better curated.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n<p>Blogging <a href=\"http:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/scurry\/2008\/09\/09\/i_hate_blogs_bloggers_and_blogging\/\">lends<\/a> itself to the <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/category\/meta\/\">meta<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Over the years, when I have been battered, bruised and even left bleeding from online exchanges, I think back to my&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.imperial.ac.uk\/news\/31674\/genetic-fortune-telling-engineering-earth-young-scientists\/\">abrupt<\/a> and unintentional <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imperial.ac.uk\/news\/42574\/science-writing-star-wins-prestigious-daily\/\">induction<\/a> into science communication; to my first forays into blogging. I finger the battle scars I picked up during the Science Blogging Warz of the late 2000s, I switch off for a while, I step away from the internets, I rethink, I rephrase things. We all <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/erikacule\/status\/1051134398035349504\">go to the pub<\/a>, sometimes, and that helps a lot.<\/p>\n<p>Kids: be loyal to your <a href=\"http:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/\">friends<\/a>, and your <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/cooksferryqueen\/status\/1078423481426034689\">internet strangers<\/a>; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/BrlbwFshBWf\/\">stay connected to your networks<\/a> even when <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.nature.com\/ofschemesandmemes\/2013\/12\/11\/nature-network-becomes-a-community-archive\">they disconnect you<\/a>; be disloyal to platforms, to <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Movable_Type\">frameworks<\/a>, to media. Think carefully, before thinking absolutely. Be the person organising the <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2013\/01\/31\/science-online-2013-without-the-carbon-footprint\/\">watch party<\/a>, the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=7T2wIpCq0RE\">fringe event<\/a>, the Tweetup. Don\u2019t piss on each others\u2019 carpets. Stop spitting bile at the universe from behind your safety glass screen. When the opportunity arises, make time to meet in up&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.thebetjemanarms.co.uk\/\">meatspace<\/a>&nbsp;instead.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;<\/p>\n<p>In 2013, almost invisibly, Blogging the PhD rolled into Blogging Beyond. Offline, I was enduring yet another interdisciplinary transition: from biostatistics student to industry statistician As this process unfolded, I no longer knew how to blog. I did feel the loss. Blogging about work seemed unwise. I <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2014\/11\/20\/over-on-the-sister-blog\/\">tried<\/a> and then <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2016\/07\/31\/self-promotion\/\">tired<\/a> of the diversity conversation. I <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2016\/03\/24\/budapest\/\">posted<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2016\/09\/08\/commuting-and-communities\/\">photos<\/a>. I <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2016\/02\/07\/birthdays-on-the-brother-blog\/\">cross-posted<\/a>. For months at a stretch, I posted nothing at all.<\/p>\n<p>Four years after <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2013\/03\/18\/denouement\/\">that<\/a>, and three or so since <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2014\/01\/19\/unexpectedly-transferable-skills\/\">this<\/a>, J called time on our marriage. It was not the first thing I asked him, but I did ask him, if he minded my blogging about it. My story is mine to tell, and his is his, and it is a pet hate of mine, having my story told for me. But from when J and I met in 2005 through to 2017 when our paths separated, our stories, from time to time, <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2014\/03\/02\/where-in-the-world\/\">wrote each other<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>There are so many what-ifs and wonderings: What if I had taken his name? Worn white at the wedding? Taken up the offer to <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2018\/11\/18\/ten-papers-for-ten-years\/\">do my PhD in Edinburgh<\/a>? Explored the suggestion I move to&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.altius.org\/\">Seattle<\/a>?<\/p>\n<p>I&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2013\/09\/15\/the-supporting-cast\/\">dedicated<\/a> my thesis to J, who, I remind him, will always have been my First Husband. I am not sure I would have made it to the start line of the PhD process, let alone the finish, without him. That said, looking back, I do question the <a href=\"https:\/\/xkcd.com\/378\/\">wisdom<\/a> of the caption of the photograph of us <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2014\/01\/19\/unexpectedly-transferable-skills\/\">signing the register<\/a>. I was trying to be funny.<\/p>\n<p><em>C-x C-s<\/em>&nbsp;, J<br><em>C-x C-c<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><font size=\"-1\">The exchange at the top of this blog post comes from me (on the right) and Alicia Thackrar, with permission.<\/font><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Blogging lends itself to the meta. Over the years, when I have been battered, bruised and even left bleeding from online exchanges, I think back to my&nbsp;abrupt and unintentional induction into science communication; to my first forays into blogging. I &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/2019\/01\/13\/the-new-awkward\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[190,7,4],"tags":[146,148,147],"class_list":["post-1960","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogging-beyond","category-life","category-meta","tag-awkward","tag-life","tag-new"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1960","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1960"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1960\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3126,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1960\/revisions\/3126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1960"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1960"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/erikacule\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1960"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}