I\u2019m glad I can bang on the keyboard with my two fingers right now, rather than be forced to write with a pen. While my penmanship has always been awful, my main concern right now is not the \u2018readability\u2019 of my handwriting, but the shakiness of my hand. This is because last night I didn\u2019t get any real sleep.<\/p>\n
No, I was not busy \u2018trying out\u2019 all the wonderful new toys and functions on OT (what is a \u201cwidget\u201d, anyway, an upside down midget?\u2014not to mention Quora<\/a>). I was lying awake in bed wondering what on earth I am going to say at my very first book signing this afternoon at The Bookworm<\/a>, a wonderful private-owned bookstore here in Omaha, Nebraska.<\/p>\n I am not usually given to excessive nervousness over seminars, teaching classes, etc. In fact, I have given my share of them, and at this stage of my career, while I always succumb to a few stressful moments at the very beginning of any lecture, I don\u2019t normally fret about it until I am up at the podium. But this time it\u2019s different\u2014I feel like an imposter. There are actually some parallels to a situation in my recent post \u201cInformal Science<\/a>\u201d, where I describe my first day as a new assistant professor and hear someone call out \u201cDr. Caplan\u201d, but can\u2019t quite fathom how my pediatrician father has arrived on the scene.<\/p>\n Rationally, I know that I am not an imposter (correct me if I\u2019m wrong!)\u2014but nonetheless, I can\u2019t shake that feeling I am going to be discovered for what I am\u2014a scientist pretending to be an author.<\/p>\n Another key difference from anything else I\u2019ve previously experienced in my scientific work, is that this time, it\u2019s personal<\/em>. True, fiction authors can always retreat to the \u201cNo comment-like status\u201d of claiming that, after all, this is only fiction<\/em>. The fact that no one actually believes me when I say that, and that they are constantly \u201cfiguring out\u201d whom my characters represent, is a side-effect of this profession, I\u2019m afraid.<\/p>\n Well, I\u2019ve gathered my immediate family for support\u2014so at least someone will be there. And I\u2019m doing what I always do when concerned that I am \u2018out of my element\u2019\u2014I\u2019m practicing. I\u2019ve received some solid advise through one of the Lablit<\/a> forums, and I have prepared a list of things to say: when and how I came to write the book, what inspired it, a few witty (I hope!) anecdotes, etc.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve also prepared a short passage to \u201cread\u201d\u2014a section that I consider to be humorous (we shall see!). Interestingly, I practiced reading it\u2014even went as far as having my daughter record it on video (yes\u2014an obsessive-compulsive<\/a> control freak) so I could see for myself how this looks. My prime observation\u2014I need to look less<\/em> at the \u2018audience\u2019 and at least look down at the book now and then to pretend<\/em> that I am reading the passage and not declaring it from memory. After all, it\u2019s a \u201cbook reading\u201d, not a drama class. That\u2019s what I get for taking 13 years to publish it\u2014I could join Ray Bradbury\u2019s \u201cFahrenheit 451<\/a>\u201d heroes, the ones dedicated to keeping books alive (when they were being burned) by committing entire novels to memory.<\/p>\n Well, enough said. \u201cDuty calls\u201d, said Mr. Wickham, so off I go. I still have a few hours left to practice\u2014reading rather than reciting\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019m glad I can bang on the keyboard with my two fingers right now, rather than be forced to write with a pen. While my penmanship has always been awful, my main concern right now is not the \u2018readability\u2019 of … Continue reading