{"id":1784,"date":"2010-03-29T20:39:58","date_gmt":"2010-03-29T20:39:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/03\/29\/smart_phonies\/"},"modified":"2010-03-29T20:39:58","modified_gmt":"2010-03-29T20:39:58","slug":"smart_phonies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/03\/29\/smart_phonies\/","title":{"rendered":"Smart phonies"},"content":{"rendered":"

The BBC have a great article<\/a> today about a new craze in Japan: “therapeutic” ring tones.
\nAnd what, pray, is a therapeutic ring tone?
\nWell, for starters, there’s the ring tone that relieves hay fever caused by the famous cherry blossoms, which are currently in season:<\/p>\n

“For relief, sufferers need only wait for a call on their mobile phone. The sound is supposed to dislodge pollen if the user holds the handset up to their nose.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I would pay good money to see someone holding their phone up to their nose during a sneezing fit.
\nWhat else is on the menu?
\nWell, there’s a ring tone for people trying to lose weight, and also:<\/p>\n

“a range specially tailored for the needs of people with different star signs, such as one for Taurus, the bull1<\/a><\/sup>, complete with mooing.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Remind me, are any of the star signs represented by a duck? Because that sound would probably be more appropriate.<\/p>\n

“Index, the mobile phone content provider which markets the therapeutic ring tones, admits the technology behind them is perhaps a little unproven but insists the number of downloads suggests they may be working.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Well, something’s working, alright. But I doubt it’s the ring tones.
\nThere’s obviously a market here though, and I am therefore using this blog post to market my new service. For a nominal fee (just $50!!!), I will record a personalised ring tone that you can install on your phone:<\/p>\n