{"id":353,"date":"2009-02-04T03:24:00","date_gmt":"2009-02-04T03:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2009\/02\/04\/caths-nine-stages-of-fucking-up-at-work\/"},"modified":"2009-02-04T03:24:00","modified_gmt":"2009-02-04T03:24:00","slug":"caths-nine-stages-of-fucking-up-at-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2009\/02\/04\/caths-nine-stages-of-fucking-up-at-work\/","title":{"rendered":"Cath’s Nine Stages of Fucking Up at Work"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a faithful and accurate account of my internal monologue during the last 24 hours or so. It contains lots of foul language. All of it is justified.<\/em>
<\/strong>
1) Pride (as in, before a fall)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tra la la, my boss has gone away and left me in charge of Very Important Submission. I am soooo important.<\/p>\n

I don’t have all the files yet, but I can upload what I do have and make sure it looks OK.<\/p>\n

That’s weird. Why is Massive Sciencey Organisation’s website saying “Thank you for your submission?” I hadn’t finished, why would it think I’d submitted?<\/p>\n

2) Shock<\/strong><\/p>\n

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK<\/p>\n

Ohmygod what have I done? And how does the back of my neck get so hot, so quickly, when I realise I’ve fucked something up?<\/p>\n

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo<\/p>\n

3) Denial<\/strong><\/p>\n

Quick, hurry, quick quick, click on the other open tab in my browser. Ooooooh, look, Google Reader! Maybe if I read a blog post or two, the scary message in the other tab will go away.<\/p>\n

“Sign Win<\/a>!” – heh heh, that’s pretty damn funny.<\/p>\n

OK, let’s check to see if that worked.<\/p>\n

4) Shock<\/strong><\/p>\n

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK<\/p>\n

And ohmygod, it’s sent a submission receipt message to my boss. I’m gonna have to email him and tell him what I did.<\/p>\n

I seriously think I might vomit.<\/p>\n

Noooooooooooooooooooooo and one more FUCK<\/p>\n

5) Bargaining<\/strong><\/p>\n

OK. I’m going to email the help desk (after regular office hours, so no calling) and explain. Hopefully they can reset the application. I’ll also email my boss. If I accept full responsibility*, apologise, and grovel, then he can’t fire me.<\/p>\n

Right?<\/p>\n

And if I go home and make a lovely dinner for my husband and his friend, then I’ll forget all about it and have a good night’s sleep.<\/p>\n

Right?<\/p>\n

Right.<\/p>\n

6) Shock<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tra la la, it’s a bright and sunny morning, everything will be OK, especially if I have some caffeine to offset the lack of sleep. Better check my email first though, to see if the help desk people have replied.<\/p>\n

OHMYFUCKINGGOD THEY CAN’T RESET IT.<\/p>\n

7) Chocolate<\/strong><\/p>\n

Quick, escape to the friendly local coffee shop; I need some anti-stress therapy in the traditional Trauma Cookie format. Oh, but look, a bar of organic, fair trade, chili & spice chocolate from Cocoa Camino<\/a>, right next to the till. Mmmmmmmmmmm, ethilicious.<\/p>\n

8) Bargaining<\/strong><\/p>\n

OK, we have an email from Massive Sciencey Organisation, saying that our submission is incomplete.<\/p>\n

Thank you, I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.<\/p>\n

If I return the email, grovel, apologise, and stress that the mistake was not the fault of any of the scientists named on the project, all will be well.<\/p>\n

Right?<\/p>\n

9) Acceptance<\/strong><\/p>\n

They say we can start our submission again from scratch. No long-term harm done – I hope.<\/p>\n

BTW I still don’t have all the required files, so I am no longer the one who is holding up the submission. No, I am a completely innocent party, my friends.<\/p>\n

Maybe there’s still some denial going on.<\/p>\n

Maybe more chocolate might help.<\/p>\n

Hey, maybe this would make a good blog post.<\/p>\n

————————–
*the online submission system may have contributed. Possibly. Don’t quote me on that, though.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is a faithful and accurate account of my internal monologue during the last 24 hours or so. It contains lots of foul language. All of it is justified.1) Pride (as in, before a fall) Tra la la, my boss … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-353","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-career","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=353"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=353"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=353"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=353"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}