{"id":522,"date":"2009-12-21T18:44:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-21T18:44:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2009\/12\/21\/lols-from-my-father\/"},"modified":"2009-12-21T18:44:00","modified_gmt":"2009-12-21T18:44:00","slug":"lols-from-my-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2009\/12\/21\/lols-from-my-father\/","title":{"rendered":"LOLs from my father"},"content":{"rendered":"

My Dad’s always a good source of entertainment, but he’s really outdone himself this week. I don’t know if it’s the Christmas spirit or some other kind of spirit, but his emails and phone calls have been full of gems recently…<\/span><\/p>\n

———————

<\/span>
“<\/span>We went to [Mum’s former school] Carol Service at the Minster last night. It was excellent:<\/span><\/span>

<\/span><\/span>
Girl 1 (Narrator) – “And Mary was sorely troubled”
Girl 2 (Mary) – “I am sorely troubled”
Boy (Gabriel) – “Do not be troubled”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
No-one else seemed to think it was a comedy”<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
———————<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
“Canadian politics has been very boring lately, you lot haven’t had an election in <\/span>months<\/span><\/i>. What happened? Did you decide you like that bastard, what’s his name, your useless prime minister, after all?”<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
———————<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
Dad: “Where’s that bastard you live with? I have an ice hockey question for him”<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
Me: “Hang on, I’ll get him”<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
Dad: “Hello, colonial bastard!”<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
Mr E Man: “Hello, imperialist bastard!”<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
Dad: “Right, so I saw five minutes of ice hockey highlights on the news yesterday and I have a question. What, exactly, is the strategic advantage of taking your gloves off and repeatedly punching the other team’s player in the helmet?”<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
Mr E Man: “There’s really no good explanation for that kind of behaviour”<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
Dad: “They had sticks, and there was some kind of black thing on the ice. I hear they use those things in between fights, is this true?”<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
———————<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
“It’s our turn to run the pub quiz next month. Here’s a question for you: which Championship team is top of the league despite being full of useless overpaid wankers? <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
There’ll be a bonus point if anyone can explain how this is happening. No-one will win the bonus point”.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
———————<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
“Stop playing the science card! It’s not fair when you know things that we don’t and use them to win arguments!”<\/span>

<\/span>
———————<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

“Now, Catherine, tell the truth. Are you, or are you not, sleeping with Tiger Woods?”<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My Dad’s always a good source of entertainment, but he’s really outdone himself this week. I don’t know if it’s the Christmas spirit or some other kind of spirit, but his emails and phone calls have been full of gems … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,58,43,3,25,37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-522","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-canada","category-family","category-politics","category-science","category-silliness","category-sport"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/522","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=522"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/522\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=522"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=522"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=522"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}