{"id":558,"date":"2010-04-14T01:17:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-14T01:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/04\/14\/hockey-p-0rn\/"},"modified":"2010-04-14T01:17:00","modified_gmt":"2010-04-14T01:17:00","slug":"hockey-p-0rn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/04\/14\/hockey-p-0rn\/","title":{"rendered":"Hockey p 0rn"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>During the Olympics, one friend described the amazing <a href=\"http:\/\/www.vancouversun.com\/sports\/Olympic+hockey+Canada+stomps+Russia+moves+semis\/2594273\/story.html\">Canada-Russia hockey game<\/a> as &#8220;hockey p 0rn&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Another friend turned around with his eyes and mouth wide open, and proclaimed that &#8220;hockey p 0rn would be the best thing EVAH!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>We started to come up with a list of words and phrases that could be used in this exciting new genre, a meme we resurrected on Saturday night during the Canucks&#8217; final regular season game. Once your mind is sufficiently deeply embedded in the gutter, it&#8217;s amazing what smut you can pick out of perfectly innocent TV studio and living room commentary&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Here, just in time for the playoffs, is what we&#8217;ve come up with so far: <\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Here comes the slap shot!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I love four-on-four, it&#8217;s nothing but end-to-end action&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;He&#8217;s slotted it five-hole&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;What a powerful wrist shot he has&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>Two-man advantage<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;What skillful stick handling!&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I think it&#8217;s time to pull the goalie&#8221;&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The star would obviously have to be <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/David_Legwand\">Legwand<\/a> (who, of course, played at the <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Bridgestone_Arena\">Gaylord Entertainment Center<\/a> before it was so sadly and boringly renamed). <\/p>\n<ul><\/ul>\n<p>Any more?! <\/p>\n<p>And here&#8217;s the money shot: Daniel Sedin&#8217;s third goal against Calgary on Saturday. What a fucking beautiful goal! Make sure you watch all the slo-mo replays:<\/p>\n<p>Not really on topic, but still hilarious, is the term accidentally introduced by a British friend who merged the start-of-game terms &#8220;kick off&#8221; and &#8220;puck drop&#8221; into &#8220;what time&#8217;s puck off?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>7 pm on Thursday, that&#8217;s when it is! Puck off, LA!<\/p>\n<p>GO CANUCKS GO!<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-<br \/>ETA: I just remembered this NHL commercial from a few years ago that seemed appropriate:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>During the Olympics, one friend described the amazing Canada-Russia hockey game as &#8220;hockey p 0rn&#8221;. Another friend turned around with his eyes and mouth wide open, and proclaimed that &#8220;hockey p 0rn would be the best thing EVAH!&#8221; We started &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/04\/14\/hockey-p-0rn\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,37,40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-silliness","category-sport","category-videos"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=558"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=558"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=558"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}