{"id":582,"date":"2010-06-10T00:41:00","date_gmt":"2010-06-10T00:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/06\/10\/rib-tickler\/"},"modified":"2010-06-10T00:41:00","modified_gmt":"2010-06-10T00:41:00","slug":"rib-tickler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/06\/10\/rib-tickler\/","title":{"rendered":"Rib tickler"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I like food.<\/p>\n<p>And drinks.<\/p>\n<p>I like to try lots of different stuff. I&#8217;m reasonably adventurous. But I also like to make sure that when I order a meal in a restaurant, I&#8217;m going to enjoy it*.<\/p>\n<p>The obvious solution is to order something &#8220;safe&#8221;, but also try a little taste of whatever Mr E Man orders. Just a<i> leeettle<\/i> sip of his drink; just a <i>leeettle<\/i> bite of his food.<\/p>\n<p>He calls this &#8220;tithing&#8221;, or more accurately &#8220;fucking tithing&#8221; (even though I take <i>much<\/i> less than 10%), and complains good naturedly every time I do it (even though I always give him a taste of my food and drink in return).<\/p>\n<p>We had a very rare week-night dinner out last night, at a new place near our house. Mr E Man is on a mission to find the best ribs in Vancouver**, so when he heard that they had a rack of baby back ribs on special, that&#8217;s what he chose. I opted for the halibut, and switched my beer order from the lager to the IPA after tasting a <i>leettle <\/i>bit of Mr E Man&#8217;s pint (thereby proving the usefulness of tithing).<\/p>\n<p>My fish was pretty good, so I cut off a chunk and transferred it to Mr E Man&#8217;s plate. He ate it, but didn&#8217;t reciprocate the gift until I reminded him about tithing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Mr E Man: <\/b>[dirty look]<\/p>\n<p><b>Me:<\/b> &#8220;Oh come on, I just want that little one from the end&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><b>Mr E Man:<\/b> &#8220;Every time!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><b>Me:<\/b> &#8220;It&#8217;s tradition. Women have been stealing men&#8217;s ribs ever since the Garden of Eden&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><b>Mr E Man:<\/b> &#8220;But you don&#8217;t even believe that, even though it&#8217;s <i>totally true<\/i> and you can&#8217;t prove any different!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><b>Me:<\/b> &#8220;Yes I can! If women were made from a man&#8217;s rib, they&#8217;d have Y chromosomes!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><b>Mr E Man, eating a rib:<\/b> &#8220;Mmmmmmmm, tasty chromosomes. You can&#8217;t have any&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I got my way in the end, of course. I thought the ribs were pretty tasty, but Mr E Man was disappointed. He says he&#8217;s going to stop ordering ribs in new places, because his standards are too high and burgers are a better way to judge the overall quality of the restaurant. In future, he will only move on to try the ribs in places that pass the burger test.<\/p>\n<p>We all have our little foibles; tithing (and scientific pedantry in the face of inaccurate religious mythology) isn&#8217;t too much for him to live with, right, guys?<\/p>\n<p>Right?<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-<\/p>\n<p>*I&#8217;m actually really, really good at this. My Dad isn&#8217;t; he&#8217;ll order the most exotic sounding thing on any given menu, then complain when he doesn&#8217;t like it. But with the exception of times when the general quality of the restaurant&#8217;s food just isn&#8217;t up to scratch, I very rarely end up with something I don&#8217;t like.<\/p>\n<p>**Current leader: Mr E Man&#8217;s BFF. Current leading restaurant: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ouisibistro.com\/\">Ouisi&#8217;s<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I like food. And drinks. I like to try lots of different stuff. I&#8217;m reasonably adventurous. But I also like to make sure that when I order a meal in a restaurant, I&#8217;m going to enjoy it*. The obvious solution &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/06\/10\/rib-tickler\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,5,51,19,3,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-582","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-atheism","category-drunkenness","category-food-glorious-food","category-personal","category-science","category-silliness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/582","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=582"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/582\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=582"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=582"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=582"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}