{"id":607,"date":"2010-08-05T23:56:00","date_gmt":"2010-08-05T23:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/08\/05\/next-generation-paranoia\/"},"modified":"2010-08-05T23:56:00","modified_gmt":"2010-08-05T23:56:00","slug":"next-generation-paranoia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/08\/05\/next-generation-paranoia\/","title":{"rendered":"Next-generation paranoia"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m back from my trip with more photos than I can reasonably fit into a blog post, so please bear with me while I attempt to cull the collection! Until then, it&#8217;s enough to say that it was an amazing experience that proved once again  that there is simply nowhere else I&#8217;d rather be than the BC coast in summer.<\/p>\n<p>Luckily, I have plenty of post ideas that don&#8217;t require any agonising decisions over which photos to ditch. Here&#8217;s one about a dream I had the night before we launched.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;<\/p>\n<p>In my dream, I was on one of my twice-annual trips to San Diego to meet with collaborators. As always, I was part of a group from my institute that consisted of four or five PIs plus me, and after an interesting first day of meetings, our wonderful hosts had taken us out for a wine-soaked dinner on a sunny patio. One of the senior hosts had brought a friend, but forgot to introduce him to the group. The friend told a distinctly unfunny joke&#8230; and then got in my face angrily demanding to know why I hadn&#8217;t laughed. When I replied that I was sorry but I just didn&#8217;t think the joke was all that funny, he yelled &#8220;WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA???!!!&#8221;, tipped my chair backwards, threw a bag over my head, and man-handled me into a vehicle. I could hear everyone at our table loudly protesting and saying they were going to call the cops, and my assailant shouting &#8220;I&#8217;m the head of the fucking CIA! Call the fucking cops, they won&#8217;t do nothing!!!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I was taken to a tiny, dark cell filled with people, had the bag roughly pulled off my head, and was told that I would rot in jail. I had all my belongings taken from me* and was not allowed to call my husband, my boss, or the Canadian (or British) embassy.<\/p>\n<p>My cellmates asked what had happened, and when I told them they said &#8220;DUDE!!! You <i>always<\/i> laugh at the head of the CIA&#8217;s jokes!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>After a long and scary night, and then many hours of waiting the following day, I was finally summoned from the cell and told I was free to go. The desk staff were clearly embarrassed, and one female officer apologised for her boss&#8217;s drunken temper tantrum as she handed me back my belongings. &#8220;He&#8217;s just an ass&#8221;, she explained helpfully, and called me a cab.<\/p>\n<p>I asked the cab driver to take me to our collaborators&#8217; facility, where I found the second day of meetings in full flow, with one of our PIs in the middle of a PowerPoint presentation and people excitedly asking lots of questions. Everyone looked round as I entered, and someone said &#8220;oh good, they let you go then?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Why the <i>fuck<\/i> didn&#8217;t you come and get me??!!&#8221; I demanded, not unreasonably given the circumstances.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Sorry Cath&#8221;, said one of our PIs. &#8220;We were going to, but the conversation about our latest next-gen sequencing results just got soooo interesting! Look at this slide, this is a totally novel finding!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Cue me waking up, equal parts disturbed and amused.<\/p>\n<p>The moral of this story?<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s wonderful to have colleagues who are passionate about their work. Really, it is &#8211; it&#8217;s one of the main perks of my job. <\/p>\n<p>However, if you&#8217;re <i>so completely<\/i> dedicated to your research that you make your colleagues have paranoid dreams about you letting them rot in a jail cell rather than disrupt your conversation about your latest results, maybe it&#8217;s time to ease up a little, eh?**<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;<\/p>\n<p>*the list under &#8220;contents of purse&#8221; included &#8220;iPhone&#8221;. Under &#8220;contents of iPhone&#8221;, I wrote &#8220;life&#8221;. This dream was clearly trying to tell me many, many different things.<\/p>\n<p>**none of my colleagues would ever actually do this for real. I don&#8217;t think. I guess it depends on which project they&#8217;re discussing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m back from my trip with more photos than I can reasonably fit into a blog post, so please bear with me while I attempt to cull the collection! Until then, it&#8217;s enough to say that it was an amazing &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/2010\/08\/05\/next-generation-paranoia\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,25,54,65],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-607","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-science","category-silliness","category-technology","category-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/607","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=607"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/607\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=607"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=607"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occamstypewriter.org\/vwxynot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=607"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}