New archive post!<\/p>\n
Remember that there’s an annual vote and prize for the best comment of the year – coming in mid-December to a very silly blog near you!<\/p>\n
Dates represent date of archiving – it’s just easier that way.<\/p>\n
VWXYNot? Comment(s) of the week: <\/strong><\/span> WHUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they fold their wings and absolutely PLUMMET into the ocean after a fish.<\/p>\n Graceful aerobats and psychotic daredevil bombardiers all at once. Love ’em.”<\/p>\n Nina<\/a> for “google translator solely exists for the purpose of a good laugh every now and then. A friend of mine translated a persian abstract into french, but since no one spoke enough french to see hilarious mistakes, it was a wasted effort. So he put the translation into his thesis.”<\/p>\n and Microbiologist XX<\/a> for “For a second I thought maybe you found this guys Dungeons and Dragons CV.”<\/p>\n Oct 8 2010: sooo many this week! It’s the hockey pool trash talk that does it.<\/p>\n Thomas Joseph <\/a>for “my agency recognizes papers by letting you keep your job!”<\/p>\n Professor in Training <\/a>for “How does my dept recognize my achievements? They don’t. Most of my colleagues avoid me because the more I do, the worse they look.”<\/p>\n Pika<\/a> for “we have a “mandatory”* departamental social event about once a month – just for fun. […]<\/p>\n *Mandatory, according to my boss: “fun is not optional””<\/p>\n Bob<\/a> for “And of course the imaginary answers are<\/p>\n 1: martini, Alyssa<\/a> for “Damn – I was kind of hoping you’d forget about the NHL pool this year so I wouldn’t feel obligated to kick ass again \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n Seriously though, I’ll have to think about it because of the whole baby-coming-in-November-thing, but will let you know!”<\/p>\n then ScientistMother<\/a> for “Alyssa – what can’t watch hockey AND give birth, talk about lack of multitasking :))) ”<\/p>\n then Chall<\/a> for “if Alyssa can be more “like all the rest of us” we’ll have a chance this year (slaughter might be too big a word for what happened last year – or not \ud83d\ude09 ) ”<\/p>\n Oct 15 2010: soooo many good ones again! You guys are outdoing yourselves lately!<\/span><\/p>\n Cromercrox<\/a> for “I have a theory about fuckwits, though. I don’t think they are as stupid as they seem. It’s all a front. I think they are all members of a secret worldwide conspiracy called S. T. O. P., the Society for Tiresome and Obstructive Pedestrians, whose members might include (but are not limited to)<\/p>\n 1. Little old ladies who, while they seem small, walk in such a way as to monopolize the whole sidewalk;<\/p>\n 2. Italian teenagers who are ostensibly in UK studying in English, who hang around in shop doorways;<\/p>\n 3. Ladies with prams who suddenly stop and gossip with each other.<\/p>\n And so on and so forth in like fashion. I hypothesize that S. T. O. P. is obscurely allied with S. C. U. M., the Society for Curmudgeonly and Uncooperative Motorists, whose members include men driving white vans, people towing caravans, boy racers and so on.”<\/p>\n (very meta, this one) <\/span>Ricardipus<\/a> for “I believe I deserve a special award for Most Reasonable Usage of the Term “WHUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” in a Blog Comment About Seabirds During September of 2010.<\/p>\n Also, that comment was possibly the most useful thing I wrote all month.”<\/p>\n following on from last week’s hockey pool-related trash talk between Alyssa, ScientistMother, Chall and me, here’s what happened when Alyssa and Pika won the quiz last week:<\/span><\/p>\n ScientistMother<\/a> for “No fair, some of us actually have to do IMPORTANT things like drive to work, dress, drink coffee, oh and feed small child before<\/em> we can get onto our blogs. Those damn EST folks have a head start.”<\/p>\n then Alyssa<\/a> for “Tsk, tsk, tsk – so many excuses. It’s all about priorities, people! I mean, how is research, feeding your kid, or sleeping more important than THIS? I figure either shit or get off the pot!”<\/p>\n then Chall<\/a> for “Alyssa> that goes for the hockey too, right? “feeding your kid” vs hockey picks. That’s a clear priority \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n (sorry, couldn’t resist.)”<\/p>\n then ScientistMother<\/a> for “Ayssa – Chall beat me to this. But note, I had to drive, drink coffee AND feed the small child. You were complaining about just giving birth and a hockey pool. C’mon now, how hard is giving birth<\/em> anyway?”<\/p>\n and finally Alyssa<\/a> for “Oh, crap, I didn’t realize you had to do all those things!<\/em> My most sincere apologies. Giving birth and then learning to take care of a newborn obviously does not compare to that!”<\/strong> and Mermaid<\/a> for “Maybe the solution is having one really horrible bus commuting experience to switch you back to the joys of cycling. Perhaps sitting beside someone with personal space and body odour issues….along with a cold, sneezing fits and a lack of tissue?<\/p>\n That would make your bike seem like a luxury!“<\/strong><\/p>\n Oct 29 2010: Mel<\/a> for “i voted for hockey shootout\/curling… drunk new years hockey only lost because you admitted already that you took your skates off (very UNcanadian) and also you did not say that it was below -20 degrees (which is critical to the Canadianness)!!!”<\/p>\n Mermaid<\/a> for “Oh, there was curling, but we never really paid attention. As kids, it was far too tame and the good looking boys played hockey :)”<\/p>\n Professor in Training<\/a> for “I only recently saw a picture of poutine – it looks like it could very well be my favourite food of all time as it contains all of my favourite ingredients that aren’t Doritos.”<\/p>\n and Bob O’H<\/a> for “I like the status quo – I hoover up the easy answers, then retire to bed and leave the hard ones for you people in the Colonies.”<\/p>\n Nov 5 2010: <\/strong> Microbiologist XX<\/a> for “We have a weekly group meeting that four PIs attend. Sometimes I get the feeling that if one person weren’t standing in front with a laser pointer, that we would never get the hell out of there.”<\/p>\n and Bob O’H<\/a> for “I liked Clippy. Primarily because I could swear at him. Ricardipus<\/a> for “You know, I think I will go through the whole pool without changing any picks at all. Think of it as a negative control.”<\/p>\n Chall<\/a> for “of course, we all know the saying – up like a sun, down as a pancake – right?!”<\/p>\n and Antipodean<\/a> for “Ooooh. I’m as excited as a kitten in it’s very own paper bag…”<\/p>\n Nov 26 2010:\u00a0 Massimo<\/a> for “I think it’s true, you may be becoming more and more Canadian every day but… you’re still a Brit at taste buds :-)”<\/p>\n and Massimo again<\/a> for “I think they are looking for a high-level administrator at my institution… I am sure they can make him a competitive offer. We only want the best, when it comes to bs.”<\/p>\n Dec 3 2010: Bumper two week edition!<\/p>\n EcoGeoFemme<\/a> for “My friend’s husband went along with her to a meeting once. He went to the poster session and pretended he was an ecologist. I guess he had picked up enough from my friend that he was pretty convincing, even though he said he was in a somewhat different subfield from her. For some reason, this irritated me more than it made me laugh.”<\/p>\n Hermitage<\/a> for “You love melancholy air? You are SUCH a Brit!” (hey, a little melancholy now and then is good for the soul!)<\/span><\/p>\n Nina<\/a> for “I am delighted to see grey misty gloomy November weather in other places when I can finally go to work on flipflops and colleagues throw spontaneous wine tastings around afternoon teatime.”<\/p>\n Bob O’Hara<\/a> for “I think that’s Chinese for “flower horribly infested with smut”.”<\/p>\n Dec 10 2010: Bob O’Hara<\/a> for “Is that what people mean when they’re talking about an ‘elevator pitch’?”<\/p>\n Knutty Knitter<\/a> for “There was an apocryphal story of one firm that just used to toss everything used into a basement on the basis that stuff had to be kept but no one said where or how. I shouldn’t think anything would be findable even if it was wanted. More likely an archaeological excavation would be required.”<\/p>\n Nina<\/a> for “oh dear, this reminds me of my new year’s resolution of not piling up important documents. That’s exactely what I’ve been doing the last months, already I have 2 piles, one at work, one at home, with random important and not important things. About 2\/3 of it is scanned as well and in several digital folders called variations of “important”.”<\/p>\n lin<\/a> for “O how many hours I spent on this review I have written. Great way to immerse in a field you are not acquainted with. Yeah right. Great way to drown!<\/p>\n In hindsight (after three horrible horrible years) yes I learned stuff, yes it helped me make up my mind on the topic. No I would never ever ever recommend it.”<\/p>\n and Mermaid<\/a> for “I don’t really understand contracted or new ‘buzz’ phrases that actually take longer to say than the original word\/phrase. Example: On the ASAP (eh-ess-eh-pee) takes just as long to say as ‘As Soon As Possible’ – so what is the point?”<\/p>\n Nina<\/a> for “Someone wrote on our whiteboard in the tearoom “microbes using Arsenic, my As”.”<\/p>\n Dec 17 2010: Hermitage<\/a> for “For someone who likes melancholy air, your first sentences are relentlessly upbeat and charming!”<\/p>\n Eva<\/a> for “When I was still in the lab, we’d always celebrate Chinese New Year with a dim sum lunch. One year I was too busy juggling a million experiments, so I stayed behind. I told a postdoc to bring me back a fortune cookie.<\/p>\n While everyone was away, the delivery guy came with an antibody on cold ice. I put it away immediately, and noticed that the order came with a gift: a little magnet. Even though the antibody was a common one, I figured I had deserved that magnet, because I was sad and lonely in the lab and everyone else was out celebrating Chinese New Year. So I kept the magnet all to myself, and stuck it above my bench.<\/p>\n When the lab returned, I opened my fortune cookie that they’d brought back for me. The fortune read “You have a very magnetic personality.””<\/p>\n Juniper Shoemaker<\/a> for “Last week, I broke open a Panda Express fortune cookie only to discover the message “Overindulgence hinders both body and mind”. I thought this was a pretty rich admonition for a fast-food joint to be making.”<\/p>\n Dec 24 2010: Bob O’H<\/a> for “The security guard really needs to get a cat. Then he can put a soft blanket on the big red button. The cat will sleep on the button whilst he goes off for a fag with the shark. Much safer all round, until the smoke sets off the fire alarm and the sprinklers, which send the bathers inside for cocktails.<\/p>\n The crab is then left in peace to get on with it\u2019s cancerous activities.”<\/p>\n ScientistMother<\/a> for “I voted for Ricardipus, because he is right. Monkeys could beat the Leafs.”<\/p>\n Eva<\/a> for “There is one person who is guaranteed to NOT be amused by my comment, and that\u2019s my dad.”<\/p>\n Thomas Joseph<\/a> for “Part of the problem is I got engaged over the weekend,which means I haven\u2019t been paying any attention to any of my fantasy sports picks.”, which was quickly corrected<\/a> to “*ahem* I meant -reason- not -problem-. ;)”<\/p>\n and Ruchi<\/a> for “I LOVE LOVE LOVE that last quote. AMAZING. I kinda want to tape it to Glenn Beck\u2019s head. Or maybe my head, and make Glenn Beck look at me. Except then I would have to look at Glenn Beck.”<\/p>\n Jan 07 2011: Bob O’H<\/a> for “Pah! Well, I<\/em> went to Leeds this year.”<\/p>\n Cromercrox<\/a> for “Wow, Cath \u2013 you should submit this post to whoever promotes tourism for BC.”<\/p>\n Eva<\/a> for “Ahhhh, this reminds me of my student days in Amsterdam. We didn\u2019t have more than one Christmas tree, and only at appropriate times, but we had Business Class seats from a KLM plane in the kitchen and they were hell to drag around whenever we needed to empty the kitchen for our annual theme party, which by definition ended when the police showed up at 5AM.”<\/p>\n (Explanation:<\/a> “One of my flatmates worked at the airport, and they were replacing seats in one of the planes. She asked what happened to the old ones, and they were just going throw them out! So she called someone with a car, and took 2x 2 seats home. But that was a little too crowded so we ended up keeping only one pair. It was fun to sit in there and eat dinner from the tray table =)”)<\/p>\n and Hermitage<\/a> for “That\u2019s the way it always goes. They always start out with some small tree that the dealer puts on sale just for \u2018first-timers\u2019, and they end up surrounded by four trees, crying \u201cjust one more angel decoration, just one!\u201d”<\/p>\n Jan 14 2011: Alyssa<\/a> for “My brother and I used to snoop for our gifts, and we found out my parents liked hiding them in a locked filing cabinet. The cabinet could easily be broken into using a letter opener though, so we snooped for a couple years. Then, one year, the letter opener broke in the lock, and that was the end of that! Our parents were so mad that they told us they took back the gifts! Luckily they had a soft spot and ended up giving them to us anyway (or maybe the stores had awful return policies then). Fun times!”<\/p>\n Nina<\/a> for “It sounds very familiar, you working Mr E-man shopping \u2026 It would be even better if we didn\u2019t have to work and they would still do the shopping.”<\/p>\n and Ricardipus<\/a> for “I like this idea too, but I see endless potential for the same kinds of eye-blistering visual abuse which now permeates all but a very small percentage of PowerPoint presentations\u2026”<\/p>\n Jan 21 2010: bean-mom<\/a> for “Oh, just looked at the title of your post. You wrote this whole post just to use that pun, didn\u2019t you?”<\/p>\n Ricardipus<\/a> for “w00t! Home (ok, \u201cwork\u201d) town team is on a streak! Nyaaa nyaaa to Edmonton, Islanders, and New Jersey\u2026 and nobody else\u2026<\/p>\n Never mind.”<\/p>\n Chall<\/a> for “As it looks right now I have use for TWO shirts from the wardrobe\u2026” (the benefits of supporting multiple teams in the same league!)<\/em><\/p>\n Hermitage<\/a> for “I can\u2019t imagine the horror of being told that these are \u2018the years of your life\u2019 when you are faced with the stark reality that a lot of your peers are glorious assholes. I\u2019m glad the realities of prepubescent dickitude are acknowledged and people are attempting to rectify it instead of blowing it off with \u2018kids will be kids, now let\u2019s set that broken nose\u2019.”<\/p>\n Silver Fox<\/a> for “I always thought that star signs were there to enable tacky pick up lines in bars. (And so you\u2019d know for sure to who to run from \u2013 ie, the person who just used the tacky pick up line.)”<\/p>\n Hermitage<\/a> again for “I had an English teacher who would go around the class and tell you if you were going to pass or fail her class (and at life), using astrology as her excuse for being a narsty witch. Ofc, if she decided she didn\u2019t like you at midterms, the meaning of your sign would suddenly shift to mean you were a twit-pansy.”<\/p>\n Chall<\/a> (again) for “ahhh\u2026. how sweet. I am still the most awesome, fabulous, centered, famous and wonderful leader who is adored by most people! ;)”<\/p>\n and ScientistMother<\/a> for “This is the perfect ending to a horrible week. I\u2019ve been battling with monkey, trying to get to campus for a 9 am lecture, found out I need to spend yet another $1000.00 of my fucking car and now I am no longer a PISCES!!!! This is horrible news, what am I supposed to divorce my husband who is the perfect match for me (He\u2019s a cancer?). This is why we had so many arguement last year, bc we are not matched correctly. Fuck. Dude. Sigh<\/p>\n Anyone know a good lawyer?”<\/p>\n Jan 28 2011: Beth<\/a> for “OMG! I\u2019m not a Capricorn anymore! I don\u2019t even know what a Sagittarius is supposed to be like! Hopefully it will be a list of generic positive characteristics that can apply to anyone!”<\/p>\n Ricardipus<\/a> for “As for astrology\u2026 can I throw in the \u201cChinese zodiac\u201d as well? Everyone born in the same year? Gimme a break.*<\/p>\n *possibly slightly bitter because I\u2019m a flaming sheep, apparently.”<\/p>\n Mike<\/a> for “I was a Libra, but Librans don\u2019t believe in all that shit so there\u2019s no point checking to see if I still am.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve come across remarkably few friends or colleagues who actually believe in astrology. But if you\u2019re still unsure about ridiculing believers about this stuff, just ask them if they realise that your gravitational field has (milky) waaaay more physical influence on them than any of the other heavenly bodies they feel so controlled by.”<\/p>\n Antipodean<\/a> for “Favourite scientist names game (optional rule: must be in pubmed to qualify?)<\/p>\n My personal favourite: Fabio Pizza.”<\/p>\n KristiV<\/a> for “I\u2019m a fan of interesting author combinations on papers, e.g. Fatt and Katz (1952).<\/p>\n i don\u2019t think it gets much better than Fatt and Katz, actually.”<\/p>\n Cromercrox<\/a> for “There is a well-known collaboration of scientists that works on skin microflora. Just ask PubMed for \u2018Dark and Strange\u2019, or, as it may be, \u2018Strange and Dark\u2019.”<\/p>\n and Hermitage<\/a> for “It would actually make sense for most cellular mechanisms to be regulated by millions of segments of lolcats. The whole damn business is unruly and makes no fucking sense.”<\/p>\n Feb 04 2011: Stephen<\/a> for “This is why we had to shoot the dog. Either you have career goals or you don\u2019t. ;-)”<\/p>\n Steve Caplan<\/a> for “The \u201cknights who say NIH\u201d\u2026”<\/p>\n TheGrinch<\/a> for “It would have been fantastic had Dixie [the dog] swallowed Blackberry and it came out the other end as a completely ready grant proposal.”<\/p>\n and lin<\/a> for “I have heard a rumor that the weather people are always creating a \u201clight at the end of the tunnel\u201d for all kinds of weather, because people will complain to much, get depressed and suicide rates go up. Probably not true, but as a result I never trust the \u201clook, at the end is getting better\u201d cheerful chirps.<\/p>\n (Plus I once was at a camping in France that actually did that thing to keep campers from packing and going to another sunnier part of the country. Buying a local newspaper proved a better way of staying informed on the continuation of pouring rain for weeks, so we left)”<\/p>\n Feb 11 2011:<\/p>\n Hermitage<\/a> for “I guess I\u2019m the only one that sees an \u00dcber Viking rising from the flames in that photo?<\/p>\n Ok, I\u2019ll be over here in this corner then *whistles*.”<\/p>\n Steve Caplan<\/a> for “Deer Cath,<\/p>\n I am in the fnal stgaes of prepairing my epic manyouscript. Will u pleaze edith it form e?”<\/p>\n Steffi Suhr<\/a> for “The lack of acknowledgement is a bit of a pet peeve of mine also for general support and project management, though. This reminds me of my old plans to start an international union of science support staff\u2026”<\/p>\n and LK<\/a> for “I recently sent a paper back with a note that it wouldn\u2019t be considered \u2018received\u2019 until the gene and organism names in the title matched those in the abstract\u2026sigh\u2026<\/p>\n And consider adding another \u2018rule\u2019 \u2013 sure, go ahead and title your submission \u201cManuscript\u201d, \u201cResearch_Paper\u201d, or \u201cJournalTitleSubmission\u201d (even spelled correctly), because that will make it easy for me to find your paper among all the others I get with the exact same name\u2026it\u2019s like sending me your resume and calling it \u2018resume\u2019.”<\/p>\n Post(s) of the Week:<\/strong><\/span><\/span> and Scicurious<\/a> for “The lab your lab could BE LIKE!” and<\/a> “The Old Spice lab: Does YOUR lab smell like an Old Spice lab?” (fantasizing about Isaiah Mustafa turning reagents into data. I\u2019m on a stool. HYAH!)<\/em><\/p>\n Oct 8 2010: <\/em>KJHaxton<\/a> for “Lady Lab Coat Ga Ga” (the frustration of trying to find a practical lab coat for a woman that doesn’t leave you looking like “a rectangular polycotton yeti”)<\/em><\/p>\n Masks of Eris <\/a>for “The teaching-assistantial mind at work” (messing with students’ minds through the medium of URLs)<\/em><\/p>\n and Eva Amsen <\/a>for “No-one cares about your blog (part 2)” (a very funny tale of a t-shirt, and an excellent reminder to those of us prone to MEta-blogging that really, no-one cares).<\/em> <\/em><\/p>\n Oct 15 2010: <\/em>travel and reading hilarious comments cut into my blog-reading time this week!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n Prof-like Substance<\/a> for “Job vacancy: journal club killa” (there’s one in every department!)<\/em><\/p>\n and Alyssa<\/a> for Misery wars (Four kinds of oneupmanship. Can you think of any more?)<\/em> <\/em><\/p>\n Oct 22 2010: <\/em>Thomas Joseph<\/a> for “<\/span><\/strong>#UnK3rn3d: Life Outside the Lab?” (excellent rebuttal to <\/em>Scott Kern)<\/span> Eva Amsen<\/a> for “Technical paper: home-made mocha optimization” (Abstract: “I made instant mocha at work and am now writing a silly blog post about it.”)<\/span><\/p>\n Kimli<\/a> for “False advertising” (Kimli’s experience with the iPhone Facetime video calling feature does not quite match the one promised in those commercials)<\/span><\/p>\n and Alyssa<\/a> for “My eyes! My eyes!” (I don’t have a formal award for “most hideous furniture of the week”, but maybe I should start one?)<\/span> <\/em><\/p>\n Oct 29 2010: Jenny Rohn<\/a> for “In which I defend a bit of honest ignorance” (does it matter that most people don’t understand technical scientific terms?)<\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/strong><\/span>
\nOct 1 2010: <\/span>Ricardipus<\/a> for “What I like best about the pelicans I’ve seen (Brown Pelicans, in Florida) is how they wheel and glide overhead, obviously delighting in the wind, and then <\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n
\n2: University (it’s in Oz)
\n3: computer (the computer fish is a more evolved electric eel)
\n4: IO (yes, that moon does have life on it)
\n5: DOD,
\n6: Stupidity (political science),
\n7: trousers,
\n8: money (as in “a fuel and his money are easily divided”),
\n9: jazz,
\n10 is rover”<\/p>\n
\n
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/em>
\nOct 22 2010:<\/span> <\/span><\/strong>Chall<\/a> for “Sounds like a fun thing to do, keeping the notes I mean. You do know it’s the power…. to write what you want them to have decided ;)”<\/p>\n
\n“It looks like you’re writing a letter.”
\n“No, fuck off and tell me the full reference for [redacted] et al. 1967, wanker”
\n“I don’t understand what you’re asking”
\n“Of course not. You’re a useless tosser who should go back to Seattle with all the other idiots who live there”
\netc etc”
\n<\/a>
\nNov 12 2010: Hermitage<\/a> for “I’m such a wimp, I got the spooks just from reading about a frequency that resonates my eyeballs. Aiiiiii, abomination! Not of the lord! Squee, squee.”<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/span>
\nOct 1 2010: <\/span>CromerCrox<\/a> for “Ancestral furniture” <\/span>(in CC’s family, “when the elder male of the clan reaches his mid-forties, he is seized by an implacable urge to make pine dressers”. There are some impressive furniture making genes in this family!)<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span>Anthony Fejes<\/a> for “Science blogs and Caveat Emptor. A comment on an Analytical Chemistry editorial” (excellent rebuttal to Royce Murray)<\/span><\/p>\n