In which I enjoy a Northern sojourn

I spend a lot of my time these days up at the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead, helping out with undergraduate teaching. It’s marked a new phase of traipsing up and down on the Northern Line to my lab on the main campus, but now that term has started I’ve settled into a routine that seems to work for everyone, myself included.

As a workplace, the Free has a lot of advantages. It’s right next to the Heath, nestled into a leafy village of pretty shops, streets, pubs and houses. This time of year the foliage is spectacular, crimson and flame and every shade in between, heaped up in layers on the pavement and making a satisfying swishy noise as you shuffle through them. The boutiques have shocking price tags, but the charity shops have lovely clothing for a snip. (You know that universal musty smell that charity shops and their wares tend to give off? Well, not in Hampstead they don’t.) This means I’ve been able to kit myself out as a proper pedagogical academic for only a fistful of fivers.

The hospital itself is full of cutting-edge medicine and science. Its National Amyloidosis Centre, for example, is world-class. And famously, it is the only institute in the UK allowed to accept Ebola patients. Just the other day, the entrances were blocked by an RAF ambulance, a sinister-looking lorry and several dozen personnel in military drabs. But rumors soon trickled down that it was only a drill.

Or else, that they wanted us to think that it was only a drill.

Or else, that it was a double-blind and that the lorry really did harbor a patient in a bubble after all. Given the distinct lack of helicopters and news stories, I guess the first rumor was correct.

I am still getting my bearings – the building is of a proverbial “can’t get there from here” layout, and whenever I get lost, no matter where I start or which direction I double back towards, I invariably end up in the MRI suite. (It makes me wonder if I’ve got any metal imbedded into my body that I don’t know about!) And so confusing are the passageways that the only way for me to find my way back to the undergraduate office is to actually exit the building and circle round until I’ve located that oh-so-handy landmark for weary lost travelers, The George.

Today I needed a break so I went out the Rowland Street entrance, up the hill I’ve trudged a hundred times before. The sun was unexpectedly warm, and the air was mild. Squinting like a cave-dwelling mammal in the light, only then did I happen to notice the incongruous cornfield, visible down a flight of stairs leading into a disused corner:

IncongrousCorn

Any ideas? Nope, me neither.

Posted in Gardening, Silliness, Teaching | 2 Comments

In which my palm is crossed with silver: Suffrage Science 2014

Inheritance doesn’t have to be genetic.

This past Thursday at London’s Dana Centre, I was one of this year’s recipients for Suffrage Science. For those of you unfamiliar with the scheme, it was launched in 2011 by the Medical Research Council Clinical Sciences Centre, and involves heirloom jewelry, originally designed by art students at Central St Martins College, passed down from one ‘generation’ of women to the next.

I received my brooch – a lovely domed magnifying glass set within a series of concentric silver rings – from the broadcaster and writer Georgina Ferry, who had received her from the biographer Brenda Maddox. Humbling provenance indeed. The event, compered by the incomparable Vivienne Parry, also featured a discussion about inspiring female scientists throughout history.

It was a family affair, although Richard spent a lot of the time chasing after Joshua, who has recently started to walk. I like to think he bonded with the other gentlemen likewise engaged (including the affable Dane who gently corrected the only phrase – tak for kaffe – I had picked up from watching too much Forbrydelsen).


(Credit for all photos, unless otherwise indicated, is Brona McVittie, © MRC Clinical Sciences Centre)

Here’s Georgina introducing me:

And here’s the handoff (in addition to the brooch, note the goody bag from L’Oreal, which had some superlative products inside, not least the subversive blue nail Yves St Laurent nail varnish!)

This is a picture I took of the brooch, but it doesn’t really do it justice:

Later I said a few words about my inspirational PhD supervisor, Julie Overbaugh – one of many stories told that evening of amazing women doing great things in the past and present.

And the final classy touch: the awarding of commemorative cufflinks to Richard and the other male childminders (none of whom, fittingly, were actually in the room at the time).

I am relieved that I have a whole two years to decide who should receive my brooch. There are so many wonderful women out there. Georgina is keen that we keep the writing theme going in our ‘branch’, and I think that’s a good idea. So watch this space.

Posted in Women in science, Writing | 3 Comments

In which we need more lab coats in the Commons

Like many commuters serving as a captive audience on the London Underground, I tend to read the free Evening Standard most nights. I enjoy the op ed pieces by Rosamund Urwin, who has always struck me as both light-hearted and eminently sensible – a good combination for any journalist desirous of keeping the attention of exhausted people trapped in one of the sweatiest circles of Hell.

Tonight’s offering was an impassioned plea for more scientists in politics. You can read her brief piece yourself, but it highlighted the grim stats for politicos in the United Kingdom: just one scientist MP (“A token Beaker stuck in there with all the muppets” – genius); no science graduates in the Cabinet; a majority of Tories polled recently believing that the case for anthropogenic climate change has not been proved; the fact that our Health Secretary, presiding over an annual budget of over £100 billion, believes in homeopathy. She calls for action to entice scientists to enter professional politics (“more lab coats in the Commons” is her rallying cry), and suggests giving all MPs a science “refresher course”.

I doubt this will ever happen, but it’s nice to see a demand for it in the mainstream press.

In the meantime, for all three of you paying attention in the back row, after several weeks of burning the candle at more ends that I thought candles actually had (maybe it’s some sort of cosmological multi-dimensional candle), my big paper was finally resubmitted to Current Biology yesterday. Accompanied, I might add, by the strains of “The Final Countdown” blasted out at top volume (but replacing the word “Countdown” with ‘Upload”) as I clicked the button. Where it has remained a stubborn ear-worm ever since. Fingers crossed that my magnum-ish opus finds favor with the Editorial Powers That Be at long last.

Posted in Policy, Politics | 4 Comments

In which I am still largely at large: another mother in academia

Blogging appearances to the contrary, I am still alive, clinging gamely to some semblance of work-life balance as a new mother in academia.

Not so new anymore, I realize, as Joshua hurtles, one milestone at a time, toward his first birthday. He sways on his feet, unsupported, for long periods of time, yet is still reluctant to let go as he steps along the furniture. He keeps remembering anew that he can clap his hands together, which causes no end of private amusement. He has taken to pointing portentously at all manner of random objects, and is now so curious and fast – a dangerous combination – that we cannot leave him alone for even a second. Still, at least he is sleeping well – most nights. But this long-awaited achievement somehow has not brought my perennial exhaustion to an end as I’d hoped it might.

I think I’m so tired because of changes in my job. As I rework a fellowship at the request of a major funding body, I’ve been helping out as a teaching fellow on a brand-new undergraduate course being launched by the university. It’s an ambitious and innovative program aimed to teach a fusion of medicine and science to researchers who want to work with clinicians or in an applied setting, and we’re doing it all from scratch using a flipped learning approach that hasn’t been employed much here. So all eyes are on us – my own faculty, and other departments thinking of taking the plunge into flipped learning with a significant online component – and the first cohort of students is due to arrive in exactly three weeks. Meanwhile, I’m still looking after the lab and keeping a team of basic scientists afloat.

But the teaching office is on a different campus, across town from the lab, and the nursery is not located anywhere near either my home or my two sites of employment, which makes life hectic. I love that feeling when I sneak up on all fours on my baby boy at the end of the day and he hurtles himself, cooing and delighted, into my lap. Yet I loathe the final leg, pushing the pram through the rush-hour crowds jostling down Borough High Street and then descending underground to cram the buggy into the sea of irritable commuters flowing eastward on packed Jubilee Line carriages. When Joshua goes down, there are only a few precious hours with which to write or do other creative endeavors, but more often than not I’m working on my last first-author paper from the previous lab (just about to be put to bed in a good home, I think), or dealing with lab stuff, or hiring BSc project students, or proofing papers and grants from the rest of the team and from various collaborators. Or lying on the sofa in a stupor, if I’m honest.

On the literary front, an older story of mine, The Pair-bond Imperative, was selected for the upcoming Nature Futures 2 anthology. I recently sat on a well-attended panel about LabLit fiction at the LONCON3 science fiction convention, and gave a talk at that same august gathering about antibiotic resistance, with a B-movie flavor. (You would think that a science fiction convention could provide adequate geeky tech. But no. Instead, I was given a laptap that couldn’t play movies, so I had to act out the key scene from Fantastic Voyage instead – when Raquel Welch is attacked by antibodies – and received a vigorous round of applause for my efforts. As an aside, can I just note that I found this large group of science fiction afficionados one of the most warmly responsive audiences to whom I’ve ever delivered a science talk?) Also, I was interviewed about LabLit for an American public radio program, To The Best of Our Knowledge, which must getting syndicated on NPR stations all over the country as I keep getting lovely pockets of fan mail and people suggesting books for my List of science novels every few weeks or so. I struggle to publish one article a week on LabLit, but somehow I manage it, and I’m proud to be approaching our tenth year of existence.

I haven’t been able to write fiction since Joshua was born, however, or work out a good publication plan for my third completed novel, which is the first of a comedy-thriller trilogy about a feminist virologist who is forced to combine forces with a sexist mathematician to solve a mystery cat plague that threatens the whole planet. I keep hoping that the time and energy and creative juices will one day come. For now, I’m happy just to be able to keep everything else afloat and pen the occasional blog or journal entry. One day soon I know the mojo will return.

Posted in LabLit, Science fiction, Students, Teaching, The profession of science, Women in science, Writing | 10 Comments

In which I receive a gift

What do you buy the female scientist who has everything?

A few days ago I noticed a news clip in the London Evening Standard, mentioning that a new line of Lego featuring women researchers had sold out within hours of being offered for purchase online.

Women Scientist Lego hits news

These are glad tidings, given that Lego has previously sustained complaints for sexist stereotyping in its toys. I myself felt physically ill the last time I passed one of Lego’s horrid pink and purple collections aimed at little girls. Having grown up with Lego back when it was just primary-colored bricks and I could play at architect instead of bikini-clad sunbathing bimbo, I felt that the company had left me, and probably many kids, far behind.

JoshLego
Joshua, enjoying some old-fashioned Lego bricks acquired circa the year 2000.

While all is not totally forgiven, I was cheered by this news. I also secretly wanted to own the collection, but assumed it would be too difficult to get a hold of.

This evening, as a wedding anniversary present, Richard surprised me (after a long, dispiriting and existentially tenuous day at work) with my very own box!

Women Scientist Lego Box

And it’s no exaggeration to say that I was as excited as an undergraduate lab intern trying on her first white coat. I can’t wait to assemble them all – a chemist, a paleontologist, and an astronomer. And I am especially excited by the accessories – check out these itty-bitty Gilson pipettors!

Women Scientist Lego Accessories

It was Richard who first noticed one of the best features of this ingenious set: the scientist heads are reversible, so you can have them display either a studious/benevolent expression, or one that is considerably vexed at the nonstop vicissitudes of the scientific life. Just pulled an all-nighter, only to drop your beaker on the floor in the morning from sheer exhaustion? Just found out that your grant application was rejected – for the fifth time – or that Nature wants you to do so many revisions that it would take approximately thirty years to satisfy the referees? No problem – there’s a scowl for every occasion.

And for that rare Eureka moment? A slightly skeptical twitch of a smile that almost dares not linger, lest the whole intellectual edifice come crashing down.

Genius.

Note added after publication: These Lego researchers have their own Twitter account! Thanks to Hans Zauner for kindly pointing this out.

Posted in Silliness, Stereotypes, The profession of science, Women in science | 8 Comments

In which I heart academia

Say what you will against life in the upper echelons of higher education. By all means complain about the low pay, the long hours, and the increasingly desperate funding situation. Above all, rail against the crushing career insecurity, and the sad truth that no matter how far up the ladder you are, there is only an ephemeral membrane between you and the night shift at McDonald’s.

But.

Impromptu math

Where else can you sit down at a lunch table and hear such incredible conversation? Today, instead of being regaled with the latest football scores or celebrity gossip, we were dazzled an impromptu fifteen minute lecture about the Fibonacci sequence, the inevitability of hexagonal honeycombs, and the real reason why apples fall at precisely the right time – complete with kitchen towel diagrams and equations. Round it off with a debate about whether such things evolved or whether instead there are only a limited number of physical manifestations of matter, and that’s academia in a nutshell.

Posted in The profession of science | 4 Comments

In which everyday sexism depresses me

Today, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, David Cameron, reshuffled his Cabinet in preparation for next year’s General Election. There was a lot of speculation that he would up the number of women in his inner circle, as he’s previously promised, and this is exactly what he did.

The media, desperate to stir up controversy whenever it can, and having spent the previous weeks muttering that Cameron wouldn’t have a good enough pool of women to choose from to be able to follow through, was probably disappointed that he succeeded in the end. Deprived of feasting on a failure of this sort, it was forced to stir things up by intimating that the women chosen might have been just for show. We really can’t win. Either we are too crap to appoint, or – if appointed – we must only have appointed to fulfill a quota. Of course there is no way that we women could actually have been chosen for our abilities.

Today’s coverage in the London Evening Standard was shocking. The male subjects who were profiled had standard bios – career highs and lows, nothing about their personal lives. Michael Gove was said to have “one of the most acute political brains of his generation”, while Philip Hammond apparently has “a hard edge” and set up his own companies at a very young age.

The profiles of the three women who’d been promoted, although containing factual and some complimentary descriptions, all mentioned their marital status and how many children they had. The unmarried woman – Esther McVey – was singled out for special treatment. In the West End final version of the paper, there were not one but two photos of her, one as a young TV presenter in a revealing crop-top and skin-tight satin trousers, and the other as she was this morning, the wind blowing up her otherwise respectable business skirt such that the slit parted and revealed a bit of thigh. In the text, of all the thousands of phrases she’s ever uttered in her time on GMTV, the journalist chose one in which she mentioned sex, and readers are also helpfully informed that she once flashed her underwear on air. Most disturbingly, she has an entire paragraph about her relationship status that would not be out of place in a gossip column. In it, we learn that although she’s “unmarried”, she’s been “linked” with two prominent men, one of whom proposed marriage. (One cannot help suddenly picturing her as a feisty Lizzy Bennet, spurning not only Mr Collins’ advances, but Mr Darcy’s as well!) Coyly, the piece concludes that she “shares a flat” with a male MP, and allows readers to draw their own conclusions.

Now, I occasionally write copy for magazines and papers, and I know that every word matters. You whittle down the essence so that only the most important information makes the cut. Devoting two of five paragraphs to sex, knickers and which men she’s sleeping with is not an accident: the editor wanted dirt, and got it.

Okay, so they need to sell papers. Fine. But if you’re going to have tawdry irrelevances in your political news coverage, why don’t the men get the same treatment? I’m sure we’re all dying to hear more about whether Mr Gove wears briefs or boxers, and who Mr Hammond may or may not have snogged at the last Christmas party.

Come on, Evening Standard. Up your game.

Posted in Politics | 20 Comments

In which I become Justin Bieber

Sometimes the comment thread is the best part about blogging for The Guardian:
The ultimate accolade

The ultimate accolade.

Posted in Silliness, Stereotypes | 5 Comments

In which my language becomes everyone’s – for a moment

Following on from my piece in the Guardian this week about the chickenpox vaccine, my friend Buffy clued me in to this clever little number in the Onion that had been published the day before.

Onion_Vax

It’s too gloriously sunny and warm outside to write a serious post, so I thought I’d just point it out in case you missed it, and mention that it’s really great to see actual, hard-core science in such a popular venue. Does this mean, just possibly, that science is becoming just that bit more acceptable to the world at large? I do hope so.

When interviewed, many mothers described quality time spent gathered around the kitchen table, with the whole family helping to grind recombinant proteins with mortars and pestles while a supervising adult helps purify the mixture through chromatography and ultrafiltration. Others reportedly do prep work ahead of time on Sundays so that during the week they can simply come home from work, stir in any necessary adjuvants or stabilizers, and have an inoculation ready to go.

“Enough people were complimenting my measles vaccine that I now make a couple extra vials on purpose,” said Theresa Berman, a Fresno, CA mother of two, who revealed that her “secret ingredient” is a pinch of ginger. “It may not be as flashy as MMRV ProQuad, but it has the exact same WI-38 human diploid lung fibroblasts and MRC-5 cells as the brand-name variety.”

Posted in LabLit, Scientific thinking, Silliness | 4 Comments

In which I grapple with my Inner Imposter

I’ve been thinking a lot about Imposter Syndrome this past week. It’s no surprise why: several funded positions have come up in the department recently, and the process of applying for science-related personal funding always brings out the worst feelings of inadequacy in me. All I have to do is read the ideal candidate description, with its lists of essential and desirable qualities, and the uncertainties surge up inside.

No matter how well qualified I am, I tend to feel as if the words must be aimed at someone else – someone better. In my mind’s eye, that someone is usually a brash thirty-something with a male face (even though I know from my colleagues that youth and a Y chromosome are no immunization against Imposter Syndrome). Worse, I feel a deep sense of uneasiness as I go about the process of spelling out exactly how and why my skills and experiences precisely fit the bill. It is, in fact, about the only writing task that drives this prolific writer to avoidance tactics like getting up to make a cup of tea. Penning a scientific manuscript, a ten-page research proposal – even a novel – is a doddle in comparison.

How very un-American of me, you might be thinking. And it’s probably true that I’ve been in Britain for so long that I’ve lost the ability to feel comfortable when unabashedly blowing my own horn, even under circumstances where it is definitely warranted. But there is something deeper afoot, I suspect. Some well-buried wiring in my brain – perhaps linked to an evolutionary caution against standing out, against sticking one’s head above the underbrush (only to get spotted and summarily munched by a passing tiger).

My friend, a prominent mid-career male scientist in academia, recently shared his top tip for overcoming Imposter Syndrome. He had read a few studies, like the one here, reporting that a confident posture can boost self-confidence. A bit worried about how nervous he tended to be under harsh scrutiny, and always a keen experimentalist, he decided to give the method a go during acute circumstances: an interview for a highly prestigious lectureship. Just before reporting for the interview at the relevant university, he went to a nearby loo, locked himself in a stall and tried out what looked to be the most evidence-based successful posture: standing boldly with feet wide, shoulders flung back, head high and hands on hips. After holding the pose for about five minutes and glaring defiantly at the door, he reported for the interview.

The results were remarkable. Normally quite understated, self-deprecatory and not prone to hyperbole of any sort, he told me afterwards that he was frankly surprised by the words that had come out of his own mouth. They were glib, assured and confident, and he hardly thought before he spoke. So far so good, right?

Except – some of what came out of his mouth, he confessed, was unabashed bullshit.

“Bullshit,” I asked, “in sort of an exaggerated way – like making your data sound perhaps slightly more solid than they actually are?”

“No, I mean, I have a feeling I actually made up a few things on the spot. I can barely remember what I said – it was as if I was on drugs.”

My friend was mortified at how the exercise had affected him, and vowed to never use the technique again. Even when it transpired that he had got the job. I’m not so sure, though…it sounds like a winner to me, provided that you somehow manage to rein it in properly and not spout off fibs. There must be some happy medium whereby a postural technique can impart confidence without turning you into a purveyor of fine fiction. Perhaps the dose was just too high, and a minute or two of the stance might suffice.

Somewhat coincidentally, my podiatrist recently had similar advice for me. I’m suffering from chronic postpartum foot pain, and he thought that improving my posture and gait might help alleviate some of the symptoms.

“When you walk,” he said, “imagine that you are striding down the red carpet and all the cameras are flashing. Stand tall and declare over and over in your mind, I’m Doctor Rohn!

Just before I sent off my most recent application last night, I texted “I’m Doctor Rohn!” to my friend in all caps, stood in The Killer Bullshit Stance for exactly two minutes, and then re-read my statement. Did it, on reflection, actually look a bit wishy-washy in places? After a bit of thought, I bolstered a few of the sentences to make them sound more assertive and self-possessed. (Don’t worry, I didn’t add any fictional Nature papers to my CV.) The confidence exercises actually did seem to make a difference.

All this is just fine and dandy, but for one niggling notion. Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you, goes the saying. Equally, just because you suffer from Imposter Syndrome doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re good enough, either. Ultimately, it’s almost impossible to walk the line between self-confidence and bullshit. I just think that some people are better at it than others.

Posted in Careers, Staring into the abyss, The profession of science, Women in science, Writing | 17 Comments