Mwah ha ha haaaa. My plans for world domination have just ticked one step closer to reality. Lock up your fish, chips and mushy peas, good folk of Britain – I’m not going anywhere for a long, long time.
A residence visa celebration party at Navarro’s, yesterday
I took the pilgrimage down to the ominously named Lunar House in East Croydon, a building that looks remarkably like every other immigration establishment the world over, from the Vreemdelingenpolitie in Amsterdam to the Seattle Passport Agency: shabby 1960s architecture edged with grime and fear. After parting with 950 of your earth squids and queuing with the rest of the tired, cold and huddled masses, yearning to breathe free (or at the very least, to use their mobile phones), I was finally presented a shiny Indefinite Leave to Remain certification in my US passport.
It doesn’t seem like much, but as I slipped past the bored guys at the x-ray security checkpoint, clutching my prize, and fled the gloomy edifice into the bright Indian summer afternoon, I realized that an anxiety that has been dogging me for the past year had vanished.
Now all I need is a job when my fellowship runs out. One step at a time!
Congratulations! The next step shouldn’t be too difficult (ha!). If nothing else, you could open a salon.
One wonders what immigration offices did before the 1960s. Perhaps architectural styles are cyclic, so there is always a recent period with sufficiently grim exteriors to supply immigration and unemployment offices, and the like, with buildings.
£950 Earth Squid? You must long for Albion’s fair shores very, very much indeed.
Woohoo!
Big congrats. That’s another round on me.
Brilliant news! Does it work in other EU countries, or just UK?
Thanks, guys.
Nah, unfortunately it doesn’t work in other EU countries. Some elements of residence are shared; for example, when I went on the dole in Amsterdam, my previous 18 months in the UK were taken into account when they decided how long they could pay me a monthly stipend of 75% of my previous salary (2.5 years in theory!). But I don’t think this imparts anything more useful than getting to queue in the fast lane in UK airports that have a separate line for residents (Heathrow, basically).
Bob, since I’m now (almost) one of you, can you tell me how you indented that text?
Oh, nearly forgot:
In a previous post I mentioned my confusion about the following sentence on the SET0 application form:
“Since [first entering the UK] have you had any absences from the UK? If yes, give the dates of and reason(s) for the absences in the spaces below. List all absences, however short, including all of 3 months or more.”
Well, I can now reveal that they do indeed want all absences, including those under 3 months. Not including them is considered perjury. And apparently if you’ve been absent for more than 275 business days in the five year period, your application is automatically refused! Something to take into account when planning that year sabbatical to Woods Hole or whatever. Even I came fairly close with my business travel, so it’s definitely something to keep tabs on if you want to take this step.
Another useful tip, for those seeking settlement under the Highly Skilled Migrant category: you do indeed have to prove you have been economically active for all 60 months of your qualifying period. It was actually touch and go for me: I didn’t have all my P60 forms, and was missing a few bank statements and payslips. Very fortunately, the case worker cobbled together coverage from all three of these sources. So don’t throw anything away until you have your stamp!
w00t! Congratulations Jenny, come and celebrate with us next weekend, I know you have secret goth leanings..
By the way, I trashed my boat, which is why you didn’t get invited down yet. Luckily its insured, and should be ok in time for the winter 🙁
I remain,
You remain moderate, young Thomas? As if!
The question is, do I want to crew on a boat whose captain tends to trash them? What the hell — you provide the trapeze wire and I’ll supply the harness. Lee ho.
bq. text indentation.
Is it a state secret?
Ah…I forgot about ‘view source’.
Richard Grant
said:
(that joke would have been a lot funnier if the code hadn’t formatted.
I”m only on my third cup of coffee, you see…)
bq, snicker.
HAHAHA
Congratulations! I never did have a party for mine… I think the sting of parting with £750 (I took the cheaper route by submitting mine by mail) put me off the celebratory mood.
“I can now reveal that they do indeed want all absences, including those under 3 months. Not including them is considered perjury.”
Oh shit.
For all you lurking Home Office officials, that was just Karen feeling vicarious pain for all those other poor sods. Nawt to do with her, mind…
I need to travel in the coming weeks so I needed to get it done and dusted ASAP. Besides, the postal service in my neighborhood is very hit or miss – last year three out of five packages sent to me were lost forever, and a fourth was returned to sender some six months later.
£975?
Yeah, looking at the
costprice of permanent residence in Oztraylia that sounds about right. Which is one reason I’m not considering it.@Karen. Much amusement.
{color:rgb(255, 60, 0)} Oh {color:rgb(244, 66, 11)} dear, {color:rgb(234, 72, 21)} Richard. %{color:rgb(223, 78, 32)} % {color:rgb(212, 83, 42)} If {color:rgb(202, 89, 53)} you’re {color:rgb(191, 95, 64)} not {color:rgb(181,101, 74)} more {color:rgb(170,107, 85)} careful {color:rgb(159,112, 96)} in {color:rgb(149,118,106)} the {color:rgb(138,124,117)} future, {color:rgb(128,130,128)} they {color:rgb(117,136,138)} might {color:rgb(106,142,149)} find {color:rgb( 96,148,159)} out {color:rgb( 85,153,170)} how {color:rgb( 74,159,181)} to {color:rgb( 64,165,191)} change {color:rgb( 53,171,202)} the {color:rgb( 42,177,212)} colour {color:rgb( 32,182,223)} of {color:rgb( 21,188,234)} their {color:rgb( 11,194,244)} text {color:rgb( 0,200,255)} too.
Does that mean if I do
it will indent?
‘Cuz I see … when I look at the source above. I didn’t know html markup worked, too. And it doesn’t yet, for me…
(Anyhow, congrats, Jenny. Now you’ll take it for granted. What a ripoff, though! Now I know why they got rid of the poll tax – they’re raking it in elsewhere. And you’re not even represented.)
I was thinking of dumping some tea into Canada Water, actually. And we do the poll tax – they just call it something else.
Council Tax
bq. I was thinking of dumping some tea into Canada Water, actually.
As long as you boil the damn water first.
Precisely. And I’m not allowed to vote for them.
That’s sucky, actually. Wars have been fought over such matters (but don’t say that to residents of Washington DC).
They can vote for loads of stuff. I can’t vote for anything.
Congratulations! I was wondering why 0.0015p had been credited to my account this morning…!
bq. They can vote for loads of stuff. I can’t vote for anything.
Well, shall I arm the peasants?
heh heh.
I think I now owe you two beers.
Brilliant stuff! Now you aren’t distracted by the threat of doom any more… are we going to get more news of the novel soon?
Yes, it’s ‘broken record’ Clegg on his favourite subject once again.
Good idea, Brian. I need to find out where the copyeditors are…busy translating all my trousers into pants, no doubt.
Yay! I never properly celebrated when I got my Canadian permit. Or maybe I did and I just forgot. That’s probably it. Right now I have to count how many days I’m in Ontario between May and November to make sure I don’t lose my newly acquired health insurance.
I was thinking of dumping some tea into Canada Water, actually.
Oh yes, let’s!
And speaking of voting, at least you and I are still eligible to vote in the US (in case anyone’s wondering, all American expats are eligible to vote – but you must register asap, which you can do online here).
You can’t actually do it online – that just helps you print out the forms to post, no?
Coincidentally I started looking into this yesterday. Seattle used to send me the forms automatically but that dribbled off a few years back. I am very much looking forward to voting in November – I have a feeling it’s going to be another hanging-chad-style close call this time.
I went out for a nice dinner when I got my Canadian permanent residence – it’s definitely something worth celebrating! Congratulations, Jenny!
When (I should say if, seeing as I still haven’t heard anything after applying in July) I get citizenship I will throw a party. And I’m seriously thinking of getting a tattoo. A maple leaf done in a Celtic style, to celebrate the coming together of my two nationalities.
Thanks Cath!
I wonder what sort of tattoo I might get to celebrate my residency? It would also have to be suitably geeky.
{ponders}
A geneChip wossname in the colours of the Union Flag?
I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but I want one that commemmorates something meaningful. I almost got one when I was awarded my PhD, but it got lost in the chaos of emigrating, and I’m quite glad I didn’t now as I’ve met several people with the DNA helix armband that I was considering. It’s almost cliched! Plus you have to keep your arms nice and toned all the time, which is a bit of a challenge. So a Celtic maple leaf it will be, on the back of my shoulder or some other non-toning required area.
bq. I wonder what sort of tattoo I might get to celebrate my residency? It would also have to be suitably geeky.
Gilson passant over libris. (see here for the book idea)
That would be a thing of beauty!
Can I watch you get it done?
(Actually, I’d probably pass out).
One day I want to get an SEM of a Drosophila head tattooed on my back…
That’s because you’re a sad git, Brooks.
Ooh. With compound eyes and all?
With or without legs growing out of them?
You do, of course, know you can glean many interesting ideas from here…
For coolness, you can’t beat Euler’s identity.
Congrats Jenny!! it must feel lovely to not fear getting kicked out (voicing my own fears here, I’m on a certain VISA that requires work or else…)
Although, £975?? geezz… I guess there is a reason for certain companies to pay for their employees’ Visas?
Tattoo is fun! I was tempted after defending my thesis to put some of the aa code from “my” proteins on me but realised that it would probably look a bit strange. Not to mention that I really only wanted a few letters and then it almost looked like initials 😉
For coolness, you can’t beat Euler’s identity
Which is the subject of one of my favorite xkcd cartoons…
Åsa, I did this with my iPod:
aggcccggc should be obvious…
Richard> that’s an idea of course.
I’m not sure it’s the same level as a tattoo though 😉 but it’s geeky alright. My main thing is that I can never really do those kinds of things (the letters), unless I suck it up and exchange the Å for AA but I find aasa having a bit too many a:s 🙂
but maybe, gcagcgtcagcc for “trying to be less obvious”…..
Maybe the little round thingie over the A could be like methylation, Asa. I am sure someone of your hidden depths has got to be regulated epigenetically.
Geekiest. Compliment. EVAH!
So Jenny, did you have to become a British citizen to get London Transport to advertise your blog?
Gloucester Road Tube Station – Sat 13th Sept
I’m impressed!
I have friends in low places, Stephen.
(Damn…my joke ruined by Gloucester Road being an above-ground station!)
I laughed, anyway.
No – the joke stands up! You have to go downstairs to get to the platforms at Gloucester Road, even on the District and Circle lines.
Jenny> methylation… that’s ust another example of how geeky I am since I still chuckle 😉
Geekiness is good. We all need to embrace our inner geeks more often.
And then we can take over the world.
“And then”?
I want it now.
OK, I’m in. I can provide the clone army. Who’s bringing the brewskies?
Me!
I think geeks already are gaining ground. Maybe we need a union.
bq. Maybe we need a union.
No… I’m happy with the clone army.
Um … do you two want to get a room? Oh. You already have. Sorry. I’ll go now.