You have been very patient. Thank you – yes, both of you. And you there, at the back, yes you, no, sorry, I didn’t see you come in.
It’s been more than a week now since I finished transitioning from one variety of bongo juice to another. (For earlier instalments, see here and here). Long enough for me to submit what I hope will be this final report.
I am now on 20mg vortioxetine per day, which is the final dose (for now). The transition from venlafaxine to vortioxetine took eight weeks, and, to be honest, really should have taken longer. But it’s done now and I cannot say I’ll be posting anything positive about the experience on trip advisor.
Now, though, I feel I can look up and view the world with some sort of equanimity. My dream life has calmed down a lot. My mood feels much stabler. However, I seem to have lost a certain something. I haven’t done anything remotely musical for a couple of weeks now. This could be because my musical partner in crime has been on vacation, and busy earning a living as a professional musician — but that hasn’t stopped me coming up with ideas before.
So now I am ready to face the world. A little more grimly. And definitely a lot older than the passage of eight weeks would imply. Maybe it’s time dilation.
That’s something nobody tells you about mental illness – it ages you. As one of our gallant band has documented in these annals, there is a lot of it about. That bloke next to you on the bus may look tough and ruthless, but inside he’s rough and toothless. And still we soldier on, veterans of the psychic wars.
Not because we can, but because we must.
