What with the recent celebration of International Womens Day 2009 and the forthcoming Ava Lovelace Day I have been thinking about what it means to be a woman and a scientist. And I am certainly not alone. This week, a book review in Nature was a variation on a theme, and I met a celebration of 100 Women in Science every time I entered college.
Twice recently, in conversation with people older and wiser than myself, came up the question of belief in one’s own abilities. A number of my peers struggle, like me, to internalize the fact that they are able. We surely are able. We would not have been awarded a degree, would not have gotten a job, would not have been offered a place on the course if we were not able.
When I described this incongruence between the evidence and the feeling, the feedback was “yes, but you are all women.”
Which brings me to the above quotation, which caught me by surprise when I was listening to the (typically PG-rated) Guardian Tech Weekly Podcast. In an edition entitled women in technology, Alex Krotoski [1] quoted Leah Culver in a panel at SXSW 2008.
(Fast-forward to about ten minutes in.)
I had thought that this lack-of-self-belief was a function of being at the beginning of a demanding course, with its workload and its ups and downs. Can it, at least in part, be attributed to being female?
And is there anything practical that can be done? After all, even good science faces knockbacks. Academia is a tough environment to be in. Are there any practical steps that can be taken towards toughening up?
1 From Alex’s profile, she is a PhD student too. I hadn’t realised that.
I thought the exhibition of photos of women doing science at Imperial was a nice gesture, albeit a small one. I took time out on my way into work one day last week to have a look. It might have had more impact if the photos had been distributed across the campus.
I’m afraid there are no easy solutions to your wider question – smart people often under-estimate their own abilities (and vice versa apparently). But you perhaps need to try not to be so modest about what you can do – if you talk it down, other people are likely to take you at your word. That’s not to suggest you should pimp shit – but you should at least pimp the good stuff. You will find if you do good work that other people will notice (eventually!). One step at a time.
But in the long run I suspect there may be no escape from the endless questioning of your ability. I heard some scientist on the radio the other day (someone notable but can’t remember the name) who confessed to feeling stupider every day, such was the pace of progress. I feel much the same!
who confessed to feeling stupider every day
I found some solace in this (HT to Anna here), which I like very much (although thinking about it, Martin Schwartz does not comment on whether his friend’s gender is relevant).
The photographs in the exhibition were charming, I thought – all credit to the photographer and the women involved. Despite its small scale, the exhibition did get noticed here on Nature Network.
Despite its small scale, the exhibition did get noticed here on Nature Network.
Yes – the event notification was by me. Bit of a pimp, you see..
I think many women have this sort of “imposter complex”- that is we fear being exposed as imposters.
For this reason, the unraveling of Sarah Palin in her CBS interview with Katie Couric was particularly painful to watch (when we were not watching and clapping).
the unraveling of Sarah Palin in her CBS interview with Katie Couric was particularly painful to watch…
Yes but in her case, she really was an impostor.
Yeah, let’s not talk about Sarah Palin ever again.
Erika, I think it’s a fine line between being assertive, confident with your skills, (openly!) success-driven… and pimping your shit. I think (hope) most people will see pimping for what it is, and don’t have much respect for it. Yes, I know, I’m an idealist.
Speaking of being assertive, I’ve noticed that I use ‘I think’ way too often in my comments and posts, and decided to stop doing that (so much)… effective immediately.
I had thought that this lack-of-self-belief was a function of being at the beginning of a demanding course, with its workload and its ups and downs. Can it, at least in part, be attributed to being female?
Maybe it is mainly because we [female] talk about it more? It seems to be some people who are just not thinking about “am I worth it or not” and then just move on… .and they get stuff for it. People don’t second guess them, since they think the others know what they are doing so why question them?.
I never thought too much about things this way before I started my post doc (in the US) and realised that it might be true in “how you present stuff” and maybe that old saying “put a smile on your face even if you are not happy and after awhile you will feel happy and people around you will feel happy” (maybe not the best analogy but can’t think of a betterone).
What I mean, I think they way females are brought up will focus more on “how do others respond to you” and makes us/them more aware of how we are percieved, which is not a bad thing per se but in some contexts it is hampering. In science, you need a drum roll of yourself (apparently since others might not give you one).
[For some of us who aren’t really liking the arrogant path, it is a thin line to walk… but I am hoping/thinking it is doable.]
@steffi – The tone of the quote in the podcast is more “Women just don’t big themselves up” – imagine an attitude impossible for a thoroughly English person (that would be me) to convey. It didn’t seem to be about exaggerating but self-promoting, although as Asa says, it is a thin like to walk.
About the use of ‘I think’ – at least GCSE English is good for something. My GCSE English teacher drilled it into her students that it is superfluous to write ‘I think’ in our essays. In her words, it is obvious that you think it – you wrote it!
(Often I have to edit the ‘I think’s out of my own blog posts after I have written them, with this in mind.)
In science, you need a drum roll of yourself (apparently since others might not give you one.)
@Asa – I like that very much! Perhaps in the context of presenting there is an element of “fake it ’till you make it.” (The confidence, that is, not the science.) I will bear that in mind.
Hi there. I’m the lady being referenced above. Which is incorrect. You are referencing Leah Culver from a different panel about women in business, than myself. Yes, I did speak about self-branding, which is slightly relevant to this topic (self-promotion) but I wasn’t the one that said, “Women just don’t pimp their shit.” 🙂 I’m the one that says that self-branding is important.
That being said, while we’re talking about women in technology, I am planning to write a post about my thoughts about this subject. I think part of the problem is that we oversimplify or overgeneralize. That is partly because we’ve been repeating the same question over and over, instead of perhaps realizing we have been asking the wrong questions all along.
Hi Lea,
My sincere apologies for mis-quoting you. I have amended the post, and I will look out for yours. If there is anything else I can do, please let me know.
Erika