The web is fully of odd tests designed to reveal your true self. They all seem to be run by dating websites, which makes the one I just tried slightly disturbing. It’s the Dante’s Inferno Test (HT: John Wilkins). And the results are…
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The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell – The City of Dis!
| _{color:#ffffff; background-color: #333333;}.Level | _{color:#ffffff; background-color: #333333;}.Who are sent there? | _{color:#ffffff; background-color: #333333;}.Score |
|---|---|---|
| {color:#ff3344; background-color: #220033;}.Purgatory | Repenting Believers | Very Low |
| {color:#ff3344; background-color: #110022;}.Level 1 – Limbo | Virtuous Non-Believers | High |
| {color:#ff3344; background-color: #220011;}.Level 2 | Lustful | Low |
| {color:#ff3344; background-color: #330011;}.Level 3 | Gluttonous | Low |
| {color:#ff3344; background-color: #440011;}.Level 4 | Prodigal and Avaricious | Low |
| {color:#ff3344; background-color: #550011;}.Level 5 | Wrathful and Gloomy | Low |
| {color:#ff3344; background-color: #660011;}.Level 6 – The City of Dis | Heretics | Very High |
| {color:#ff3344; background-color: #770011;}.Level 7 | Violent | Low |
| {color:#ff3344; background-color: #880011;}.Level 8 – the Malebolge | Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers | Moderate |
| {color:#ff3344; background-color: #990011;}.Level 9 – Cocytus | Treacherous | Low |
Level descriptions. Take the test
I do wonder though, is there really any difference between Diss and Limbo?
Bob, I’ll see you in hell. Is Level 6 close to the food court?
No, the toilets.
Bob O’Hara: moderate panderer.
Unlike some of you miserable sinners, I just about managed to scrape into purgatory, which is, I believe, very similar to a dentist’s waiting room in Watford.
I can’t imagine the meals on offer in hell’s food court being any better than your average mall fare. Separating the food court and toilets on different levels therefore sounds hellish indeed.
Oh, by the way, about Diss. I know nothing about it except that it appeared in a John Betjeman poem, and it has a railway station (my regular train stops there). But I am prepared to believe it is rather like limbo – in the middle of nowhere, it’s always on the way to somewhere else. My sister, desperate to keep Cromer all to herself, tried very hard to persuade me to live in Diss, solely for the commuting opportunities. Sigh. If I wanted that I’d have stayed in Ilford.
bq. No, the toilets.
There aren’t any toilets in Hell. As Rowan Atkinson pointed out, it is damnation without relief.
Diss only exists because the Fens get embarrassed that no one’s around.
Haha, I’m an extreme heretic from the City of Dis. Bob – we’re on the same floor, but I get the office.
Same profile as Bob except I get to hang out in Limbo in even more illustrious company.
The dice are loaded, of course. I filled out the questionnaire in the way I thought a Bible-basher would, and I still only got as far as purgatory. The God of this test hates everybody.