From The Onion:
Woman Overjoyed By Giant Uterine Parasite
Need I add anything?
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No!
But probably other people will, below.
You just can’t beat the Onion, can you?
You’d have to chop it finely first.
“We’re thinking of naming [the parasite] either Robert or Lisa,” Crowley said. “I just couldn’t be more excited!”
Scary.
An Onion? Not a cancer?
My favorite part: “it [the disorder] bears a very high correlation with the consumption of alcohol at the time of infection.” Priceless.