That’s why I am in it, for the money

I became a scientist, because of the money, really as Simon Jenkins pointed out, so I could live off the earnings of other people. And OH what a fortune I make, because academics are the most highly paid of all public sector employees – as everyone knows. And his implications that we scientists are high-preists who just lobby for money, and don’t do much but navel gazing? THAT obvservation, that is spot on!

But I feel sorry for the poor journalists like Jenkins, he must be underpaid, he must have to write grants to write those articles and pay for his assistants – and I am sure he has to deal with Full Economic Costing, too, which would sadly, sadly cut his resources down and take away precious time. I, who live off the tax-payer, feel sorry for him. It must be tough to be able to predict EXACTLY what he is going to write before he has to write, like 5 years before he writes it, because you know this is how people like him get paid. But he is good, he probably knows in advance what is going to be high-impact journalism, even 10 years before it gets there.
Of course, I am sure, that his journalistic opinions will lead to a great technology some day, and without all of the damn money that us scientists waste.

It must also be really. really tough for him because he gets rejected about, oh 70% of the time, for his grant money and articles. I guess he just has to scrape by on whatever data he can scrap together by himself, to write those opinion pieces. Its a tough gig

I especially feel sorry for him because, on top of this, I bet poor poor Simon has to mentor and teach and administrate and try to get himself reimbursed for all of those viva’s he has to do (there are alot of them I hear at the Guardian)..

When you work in academic science on the other hand, you can just get paid! If you have a good lobby and faith in your research (you don’t actually have to DO research you just have to have faith) you will be swimmin’ in cash. You know what I do all day? Drink tea, oh and play on the internet – and people treat me with absolute reverence because I am a SCIENTIST – free drinks at the pub, awed stares, the celebrity life. We, like the Holy See, even have special robes we slip into…

I know I keep repeating this but besides the perks, I get paid so much money! My husband works in academics too, and together we are so rich that we just jet-set around the world – who has TIME for a mortgage?

You know Simon Jenkins says he has a ‘wonder in science’ and that that ‘wonder’ should be taught,

but I don’t think so, I just want the money.