On who said what to whom, and why and for how much

I sat down to write a serious entry this evening (I like to hide my serious entries on a Sunday, so they don’t garner so much “attention”:http://network.nature.com/people/rpg/blog/2008/09/14/on-depression—a-personal-perspective cough ).

Unfortunately–or perhaps not, depending on your point of view–it just wasn’t working, so I’ve left it to stew for another week. In the meantime then, here are some quotes from the Science Blogging Conference.

Your job is to guess what is represented by the double question marks (‘??’)–whether it be a word or a name.

  1. The internet is full of ?? — Ben Goldacre
  2. Russians don’t fuck with ?? — Anna Kushnir
  3. ??’s the exception to every rule — Andy Lewis
  4. I never realized cell biologists were so ?? — Henry Gee
  5. For fuck’s sake, drink the damn drink — ??
  6. You’re wearing ??. We’re going to hide you behind the table — Li-Kim Lee
  7. People might think we talk with ?? ?? — Grrlscientist
  1. Oh shit, are we recording? — ??

——————
Feel free to add your own.

About rpg

Scientist, poet, gadfly
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28 Responses to On who said what to whom, and why and for how much

  1. Graham Steel says:

    You’re wearing *Old Spice* shorts. We’re going to hide you behind the table — Li-Kim Lee

  2. Anna Kushnir says:

    Oh you went there. I can’t believe you went there. You are not safe to drink around, my friend. Not safe at all.

  3. Richard P. Grant says:

    And you thought I wouldn’t. That’s why I took notes, after all.

  4. Sabine Hossenfelder says:

    Spam, Germans, Madonna, Witty, Romeo, A Pyjama, Theoretical Physicists, – Cut!

  5. Ian York says:

    Spam, Germans, Madonna, Witty, Romeo, A Pyjama, Theoretical Physicists, – Cut!
    Worst palindrome ever.

  6. Graham Steel says:

    ba dum tisk
    Sabine will be here all week !!

  7. Karen James says:

    Hi Richard, this is completely unrelated to your post, but at least it’s related to your blog: why is it your blog does not have an RSS feed?

  8. Eva Amsen says:

    1. tubes
    2. goats
    3. Australia
    4. gorgeous
    5. Spokesperson for Cherry Coke
    6. a kilt
    7. our families
    8. Paris Hilton

  9. Graham Steel says:

    @ Karen, hope you don’t mind me ‘Steeling’ ba dum tisk from your blog. Classic drum loop.

    1. an army of bastards
    2. time-wasters
    3. Henry Gee
    4. sober
    5. RI bar staff
    6. nothing
    7. Seed Magazine
    8. man in charge of the RI mixing desk

  10. Henry Gee says:

    married men
    bottles of vodka
    girrafes
    squishy
    Richard P Grant
    crocs
    voles stuffed up our arses

    Prof Michael Reiss

  11. Richard Wintle says:

    Hm, I was also going to guess “Richard P. Grant” for #5.
    For cell biologists, I guess “uptight”.
    #1 – the internet is full of crap. QED
    Finally, regarding Russians, I’d guess they don’t f*ck with controls. Controls are for wimps, after all.
    Some of these answers may be wrong.

  12. Richard P. Grant says:

    Karen: http://network.nature.com/people/rpg/blog/posts.rss
    The rest of you—only two correct so far.

  13. Graham Steel says:

    learning fast, here’s my RSS feed

  14. Cath Ennis says:

    1. The internet is full of Russians
    2. Russians don’t fuck with Ben Goldacre
    3. Henry’s the exception to every rule
    4. I never realized cell biologists were so chthonic
    5. For fuck’s sake, drink the damn drink Richard
    6. You’re wearing crocs? We’re going to hide you behind the table
    7. People might think we talk with dodgy accents
    8. Oh shit, are we recording? Anna

  15. Richard P. Grant says:

    Well done Cath. One right, two right answers but to the wrong questions…

  16. Heather Etchevers says:

    I thought I remembered #8 was actually Ben himself. The actual recording might confirm that. And that #6 concerned Australian shorts. But I have a notoriously poor short-term memory. Give me a few years and it will all come back to me. I sort of want the answer to #7 to be “our mouths full” for some reason, mostly because I think I was there when she said the real sentence and am annoyed I can’t remember more.

  17. Bob O'Hara says:

    The internet is full of ducks — Ben Goldacre
    Russians don’t fuck with ducks — Anna Kushnir
    Donald’s the exception to every rule — Andy Lewis
    I never realized cell biologists were so fickle — Henry Gee
    For fuck’s sake, drink the damn drink — Dr. Rohn[1]
    You’re wearing a lab coat. We’re going to hide you behind the table — Li-Kim Lee2
    People might think we talk with authority. Hahaha — Grrlscientist

    Oh shit, are we recording? — Grrlscientist

    1 It’s difficult to beat Romeo as an answer, though.
    2 It is of course possible that these two sentences were not related

  18. Richard P. Grant says:

    Heather has two, Bob … a big, fat
    zero

  19. Heather Etchevers says:

    But Bob’s answer to #4 is surely better than the reality anyhow?
    When do we get the answers?

  20. Richard P. Grant says:

    Definitely.
    Um, next Sunday? You can do better than this, shirley?

  21. Henry Gee says:

    Don’t call me Shirley.

  22. Eva Amsen says:

    This is like that game with the coloured pegs (Master Mind). Or a logic puzzle! If Cath has one correct and one in the wrong place, and Heather has two correct, and a whole group of people collectively have two correct, then I think:
    6. Crocs (Cath and Henry’s answer)
    8. Ben Goldacre (One of Heather’s correct answer and Cath’s correct answer in the wrong place)
    If those are correct, then that means that Heather’s other correct answer is:
    7. our mouths full
    That leaves one more correct answer in the first couple of responses. If the answer to 6 is indeed Crocs, that was Henry’s response, and I’m going to assume that the other correct response came from someone else (it sounded like a collective “the rest of you, only two correct”)
    If Crocs are the correct answer to #6, then the remaining correct answer can’t be Graham’s answer to #3, because Cath gave the same answer and I accounted for all her correct answers above.
    However, if it is Henry who is the exception to every rule, then:
    3. Correct by Graham and Cath
    That means #6 is not Crocs.
    8. is still Ben Goldacre, accounting for Cath’s other corrent answer and one of Heather’s
    That means that either #6 is shorts (in which case Graham gave two correct answers, which I’m not sure of, still, if one person gave both correct answers) OR #7 is “our mouths full” because they can’t both be correct now.
    And I’m still missing one of the other correct answers.
    Need more data points.

  23. Heather Etchevers says:

    Eva – I made up the answer to #7.
    Remind me never to play Clue on the other side of the table from you.

  24. Henry Gee says:

    @ Eva:
    Candidates may discuss THREE out of the following FOUR FIVE propositions. Please show all workings, and give reasons for your answers.

    Arrange a scenario that concludes with Professor Plum, in the Tissue-Culture Suite, with the Large Hadron Collider;

    Where did they bury the survivors?

    Excuse me, madam, but does this bus go to the station?

    How is it that people who pretend to great financial acumen, and who earn a lot more than all of us put together, come up with a scheme to lend lots of money to people whom they know won’t be able to pay it back, and reckon that this is in any way a good idea?

    Who put the benzedrine in Mrs Murphy’s Ovaltine?

  25. Eva Amsen says:

    Ah, with this new information, that means:
    3. Henry
    6. shorts
    8. Ben Goldacre
    and no other answers have yet been given, but these have all been answered by multiple people.

  26. Eva Amsen says:

    Henry – Contrary to popular belief, Professor Plum did not commit any crimes in the tissue culture suite, but rather, he composed the Tissue Culture Suite. It was to be premiered at CERN, and conducted by maestro Higgs-Boson, but recent technical difficulties with the Large Hadron Collider have meant that the performance had to be delayed until further notice.

  27. Henry Gee says:

    Mornington Crescent. You know it makes sense.

  28. Richard P. Grant says:

    Eva, that was truly terrible.
    Apart from that, I’ll have to concede that your logic is impeccable.

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