On garden warfare

When I wandered into the kitchen this glorious spring morning, I espied one of the local Sciurus carolinensis scurrying around my garden, and digging in my strawberry pots. Opening the garden door didn’t frighten the little bugger away: he just sat on the grass chittering at me.

As I don’t have any explosives to hand (all thoughts of hippy greenness vanish like morning mist when one’s crops are under threat) I’ve had to take a more subtle approach.

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I’m using pieces of bamboo (it grows in my garden, happily) to create a miniature obstacle course.

Unfortunately I haven’t been able to sharpen the points, nor find suitable poisons to coat the tips. I’m a little worried that a simply physical barrier isn’t enough. But until I can find a supplier of anti-squirrel mines it’ll have to do.

For now, at least. No one nicks my strawberries.

About rpg

Scientist, poet, gadfly
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15 Responses to On garden warfare

  1. Bob O'Hara says:

    The Beast is happy to offer his services. He’s pointed out that it’s biocontrol, which is good for the environment. And he also has experience of catching squirrels.

  2. Richard P. Grant says:

    I fear that the beast won’t distinguish between squirrels and birds.

  3. Bob O'Hara says:

    No, it’s easy. The birds fly away and laugh at him (they’ve even come into the flat to mock. Bastards).

  4. Eva Amsen says:

    I was just going to suggest a cat or dog. Not for catching squirrels, but for chasing them away.

  5. Cath Ennis says:

    We used to have grey, brown and black squirrels in our garden – it was like a squirrel soap opera out there some days, with all kinds of quarrels and fights and chasing. But I haven’t seen any of them since we started letting the cats out for a few hours at weekends. The raccoons are still around though, the cute little evil bastards.

  6. Jennifer Rohn says:

    They won’t necessarily harm your strawberries. They are either burying nuts/bulbs from somewhere else, or trying to score new ones. Once they suss out the root system in your pots, and work out there are no tasty bulbs to be had, I doubt they’ll cause much mischief.

  7. Richard P. Grant says:

    Jennifer Rohn is the Delia Smith of gardening.
    Thank you.

  8. Ian Brooks says:

    for squirrels, I recommend cayenne pepper or some derivative thereof. Put it all over your nuts, and then only the birds will enjoy them.

  9. Richard P. Grant says:

    Put it all over your nuts, and then only the birds will enjoy them.
    Why am I sniggering like a schoolboy?

  10. Eva Amsen says:

    [giggles madly]

  11. Ian Brooks says:

    >:)
    After all the heavies in Stephen’s space, i thought it best to go back to toilet humour as soon as possible…

  12. Cath Ennis says:

    Ian, does that work for plums too?

  13. Richard P. Grant says:

    You want to cayenne pepper on your plums, or on Stephen’s place?
    Eh?

  14. Richard P. Grant says:

    ‘put’. ‘Want to put cayenne pepper…’

  15. Cath Ennis says:

    the first one

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