When I’ve told people here that I’m moving back to the UK, some of them have said words to the effect,
“In the middle of a recession? Are you mad?”
to which the answer is,
“Quite probably; yes.”
One of the things you notice after living here for a while is that Australians are terribly, terribly insular and parochial. Things that happen in the big, wide world do not matter to them unless Australians are involved. Now this is true for just about any other country in the word: we’re all familiar with the
Earthquake in Limpopo: Briton scratched
(Oh, and thousands of foreigners died)
type of news report.
But this is also the lucky country, and bad things do not happen here. The ‘G’ in ‘GFC’ passes most Australians by. When I point out that the crisis will hit Australia too, even if not just yet, I’m usually ignored if not laughed at. So like a good prophet of doom I’m not at all pleased to see that the Financial Times notes that Canberra is reckoning on spending a shedload of taxpayer cash on bailing out private companies.
Kevin Rudd, the Australian prime minister, on Wednesday promised to address any potential funding shortfall, after a recent estimate from Merrill Lynch, the US investment bank, that foreign banks accounted for more than half of the A$285bn in syndicated loans issued to Australian companies since 2006. International banks are expected to cut the size of their loan portfolios in Australia in response to tough credit conditions.
Rather depressing.
But all the above is just an excuse, really, for me to post this picture
from yesterday’s Telegraph (not to be confused with the Telegraph).
Only in Australia.
(Tip ‘o the Guinness to Mad Dog)
Hahaha! I bet they had the campaign on the shelf for the past eight years, waiting for the moment they could finally use it.
How deeply, depressingly … depilatarious.
OK, it took me a couple of tries to get the joke…
I grew up in a small town called Haxby, which is a town only by population size. It serves as a commuter village for York and is really an assortment of 1970s Barratt housing estates crowded around the old village core, by which I mean a supermarket, a duckpond, and 4 pubs.
Best ever local (Yorkshire Evening Press) headline?
“Haxby Man Killed By Emu”
Me thinks you need to venture out further than the Western Sydney suburbs…
If you think we’re insular, you should spend some time in USA. Even in places like Chicago and New York it’s hard to get world news unless you’re on the internet.
I don’t think we so naive as to think we’ll avoid a recession in the current global economic situation, most of us are aware that foreign investment in Australian programmes such as civil infrastructure and mining is significant increasing our overall risk.
We’re currently somewhat buffeted because of growth rates in China, but since China has just about gone tits up (reporting their lowest rates of growth in 7 years) we’re aware that we will follow soon. Most of us have the ‘she’ll be right mate’ attitude which may be confused for arrogance and ignorance on a matter, but I assure you it’s not.
I get that it’s fun to label Australian’s as insular, naive, stupid and ‘insert word of choice’, almost as fun as bagging out the Poms for their sporting prowess’s (or lack thereof), crap weather and general whingy-ness.
But come on…those attitudes and naiveties are found in bogan suburbs or anyone reading the Herald, Telegraph or Courier Mail, not really representative of the rest of the country.
{circles “If you think we’re insular, you should spend some time in USA”}
{compares with “But come on…those attitudes and naiveties are found in bogan suburbs or anyone reading the Herald, Telegraph or Courier Mail, not really representative of the rest of the country.”}
{circles “If you think we’re insular, you should spend some time in USA”}
{compares with “But come on…those attitudes and naiveties are found in bogan suburbs or anyone reading the Herald, Telegraph or Courier Mail, not really representative of the rest of the country.”}
…
Harsh…but fair… 🙂
I do maintain that the readership of those papers and the population of the bogan suburbs is a tiny portion of the whole population…
What about the proportion that can’t take any form of criticism?
What about the proportion that can’t take any form of criticism?
…
One shouldn’t defend an outdated stereotype/generalisation?
Did you actually read the entry, Meagan? Or are you upset that someone thinks that Australians are less than perfect? Because I do come across the inability to take criticism a lot (although they’re quite keen to bag everyone else though). Not, strangely, in the Western suburbs though: they’re mostly Asian and friendly.
Don’t rile him up. He’s a ranga. You won’t like them when they’re angry.
Did you actually read the entry, Meagan? Or are you upset that someone thinks that Australians are less than perfect? Because I do come across the inability to take criticism a lot (although they’re quite keen to bag everyone else though). Not, strangely, in the Western suburbs though: they’re mostly Asian and friendly.
…
I did read the article (but I can’t see your picture).
No I’m ok with that – I just disagree with your conclusion that’s all and don’t seem to have had the same experiences as yourself. The parochial aspects and the country’s obsession with sport annoy me too so I don’t object to criticism. I don’t see the same naivity towards the current situation, I’ll admit that it may just be my circle of friends…
Could be. Maybe your friends are more financially astute!
… I mean, more financially astute than those I’ve been talking not, not than you.
bq. Don’t rile him up. He’s a ranga. You won’t like them when they’re angry.
giggle
Right. Second round’s on you, then.
… I mean, more financially astute than those I’ve been talking not, not than you.
…
We’re fairly typical tertiary educated genY. I don’t think we’re anything special. But I guess we have the sense to read the Fin Review and not the Courier Mail for news items on anything finance related…
It’s amazing the number of people who seem to think the SMH or the Telegraph are newspapers, here.
Of course it bloody is. Afterall, I’m not an Australian.
Sorry Meagan, I couldn’t resist- I love Australians. Some of them are even my family and friends. But you really cop some almost always good-natured abuse here as a New Zealander so you’d better have a sharp wit about you sometimes.
Don’t rile him up. He’s a ranga. You won’t like them when they’re angry.
….
I’m part ranga myself and schooled in the art of Muay Thai… I’m prepared to take anyone on.
I do apologise if I have offended, Richard. Caught me at a bad time, you don’t deserve the take the brunt of my angst! I got another mouth full from an animal rights activist on the train ride in this morning. I really need to stop doing work on the train.
Of course it bloody is. Afterall, I’m not an Australian.
Sorry Meagan, I couldn’t resist- I love Australians. Some of them are even my family and friends. But you really cop some almost always good-natured abuse here as a New Zealander so you’d better have a sharp wit about you sometimes.
…
Dude, you’re a Kiwi. I’m so sorry.
“Beached as, Bro”.
🙂
It’s amazing the number of people who seem to think the SMH or the Telegraph are newspapers, here.
…
They drive ‘fully sick’ holdens (or fords) and listen to Nova…you can pick them a mile away…
And Richard’s married to a kiwi and we’re all ranga scientists. Could we be more unfortunate?
Beached as is a NZ Maori accent BTW.
And Richard’s married to a kiwi and we’re all ranga scientists. Could we be more unfortunate? > Beached as is a NZ Maori accent BTW.
bq. I do apologise if I have offended, Richard
Hells no, I’m not offended. I was just gearing up for a lovely flame war. After all, what’s the point of a blog if you don’t get World War 3 in the comments?
aw man. Don’t you just hate that?
I got accosted by a hairy Greenpeace hippy as I walked with my two girls to the station this morning. I almost felt sorry for him—I’m sure he only approached me because I was the only other IC1 there.
Almost.
(Don’t youse guys have work to do? No, that’s right: That’s what immigrants are for)
I got accosted by a hairy Greenpeace hippy as I walked with my two girls to the station this morning. I almost felt sorry for him—I’m sure he only approached me because I was the only other IC1 there.>>(Don’t youse guys have work to do? No, that’s right: That’s what immigrants are for)
Actually, The Kiwi Wife has two passports (UK and NZ) and is acutely aware how very fortunate that she hasn’t had to put up with the
goddamnawfulcrapred tapeshitestuff that a few you have had with healthcare and visas.Sport? pah! so long as someone beats the French
even the bloody whinging aussiesand all is well in Black Towers.Within the context of the US, which itself can be accused of parochialism, Texans are frequently painted as being especially insular. The immediate Past Imperfect POTUS certainly did not help change this stereotype, but I think it’s an unfair one in many instances. Perhaps because I grew up in Houston, which is a fairly diverse city, with many international influences. My current location is also close to an international border, which is culturally fluid.
My decision to stay in Texas for my undergrad degree was perhaps parochial (but also financial), and I remember a grad student friend, another Texan, telling me her “parochial Texan” story. She’d completed her first two years of undergrad at a Seven Sisters university up north, and had decided to transfer (in good standing) to a university in Texas. She’d just been engaged to her high school sweetheart, he was in Texas, and they wanted to get married and start a family. Her advisor at the Seven Sisters university was dismissive of her decision, and said “Why must you Texans be so parochial?”
Which, coming from an Ivy League “sister” faculty member, is pretty rich.
Eh, it’s good to be insular. Keeps you warm on mornings like this one (it’s not supposed to frost in Sarasota. It’s just not supposed to!)
Henry’s dog seems to have fallen asleep.
Funny, the first thing I thought of when reading this was western Canada. If you visit British Columbia or Alberta, you will find a strong element of, not to put it too finely, “not giving a rat’s crap about the East”. Which sounds harsh until you realize there’s not reason for them to. Strong economy (well, Alberta, anyway) and plenty of resources… why should they worry what we in Ontario, or those in Quebec or the Maritimes, are doing?
Parochialism, indeed… but strangely reminiscent of your description of Oz.
*runs and hides from the wrath of Western Canada… and Eastern Canada, for that matter
Norfolk.
There. I rest my case.
No wrath here, just a reminder that the West never gets to decide on the government, it’s all over and done with before our polls even close!
Recent email from a friend:
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There’s always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
5. Weed.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big rock between you and BC.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% it is for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
4. You can buy beer anywhere, any time.
5. You can blame all your problems on the “Anglo A*#!%!”
6. Smoked Meat & Poutine.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You’re poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can’t, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
(Her first name is really Morna.)
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on “Road to Avonlea.”
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.
I quite enjoyed growing up just below Canada. Nice big lake in between.
From funny hair-remover ad to North American War in one easy step.
Thanks, Cath. That was a good laugh.
I like Kristi’s description of the US:Mexico border as “culturally fluid”. I think you could probably also use the word “porous”. 😉
Richard – we already had a war with the US, in 1812. Some people were shot at, we burned down their White House (which at the time wasn’t white, AFAIK), some forts and things were built, and at the end of it the border stayed in exactly the same place and both sides claimed victory. We’ve been friendly neighbours ever since, longest undefended frontier and all that – crazy midwest Minutemen militia notwithstanding.
Thus endeth the (possibly inaccurate) history lesson.
This is exactly the version of the 1812 war that I heard, so it’s probably correct, at least according to this side of the border. On the other side of the border, nobody ever heard of it at all (war with Canada? Huhwhat?)
we already had a war with the US, in 1812.
I thought that was our war, and Canada helped?
Kind of. Canada technically didn’t even exist back then.
(Cath frantically takes notes ahead of next month’s citizenship test)
Do carry on, please.
I knew I’d heard that Whitehouse thing somewhere before.
We’re charging for this service.
“Do carry on, please.”
…and then, the Canadians rode into Washington on unicorns. No, dragons. No, no, wait… moose Yes, moose. And they wore…hats…that looked like, no, they were made from the tails of beavers, and that’s why there is a snack named after beaver tails. And one guy fought the hardest and his name was Sean Towers, and that’s who the CN Tower is named after. And on the way back from Washington they all rode in a VW van with sunroof, but the roof was broken and it started raining and so they stopped at a roadside gas station to buy a tarp, and it was thanks to that tarp that they made it back alive, and so the city of Vancouver was named after the van cover.
But why would you come back from Washington DC via Van Cover? Were they lost? I thought their leader, General Tim Horton, was supposed to be a strategic genius with coast-to-coast knowledge?
p.s. you are hilarious
It was cheaper that way, because… it was a rental van and it had to go back to Vancouver anyway, so they got a discount if they drove it there. And then they just flew back east on AirMiles.
Cath: Lovely! Absoultely.
Me? I seem to forget Manitoba a lot (sheepish smile). I think for me the New Brunswick one would be “you can talk any of the two languages since this is the only province which has gotten the memo” 😉
Oh, and Vancouver “any day expect rain and crazy people on bikes any time of the day. And BC has wine production! AND poisonous spiders”…. wow…..
(The war thingy, I would be on the “Britain and France had a spat and it moved towards US and the place we now call Canada”. Lots of killings, founding of Quebec, turning on the native population and the more killing…. like wars are….)
,…and Richard, LOVE the picture 🙂
and I am sure that it is not as crazy to move countries in the middle of recession as everyone says. The other day NPR (national Public Radio) had an interview with an economic person who stated “moving jobs in these harsh times is sometimes the best you can do”… see…
Britain and France had a spat
But that defines Britain and France. Western history (since 1066) is the story of these lovers: their quarrels, their affairs with other countries (the Netherlands, Prussia and Spain, for example)—the US itself is their abandoned child. And just like any other love affair, it’s impossible for the one to ignore the other.
and Richard, LOVE the picture
Ah! Back on topic! Excellent.
I’d just to say that Nat and me had a very enjoyable time (well, I enjoyed it) down the pub on Thursday ragging on Australians.
Now I’m in Canberra, staying with an Australianized Kiwi and his half-Finnish biys (who go to a Francophone school) to celebrate Invasion day.
Confused? You will be. I don’t have a dog but here’s a picture of something I do have:
‘boys’ not ‘biys’. Sheesh.
Nice didgeridoo (dijeridu, etc. – the book I have on the topic discusses different spellings at length).
Amazing the different ways you can spell ‘hollow tree’.
In addition the didgeridoo is also the only known daytime treatment for sleep apnea which has actually been shown to work… by the Swiss oddly enough.
BMJ. 2006 Feb 4;332(7536):266-70. Epub 2005 Dec 23.
Didgeridoo playing as alternative treatment for obstructive sleep apnoea syndrome: randomised controlled trial.Puhan MA, Suarez A, Lo Cascio C, Zahn A, Heitz M, Braendli O.
PMID: 16377643
Free full text! Fantastic rapid response from Barry Martin.