We’ve had some storms in Sydney. Rain storms, that is: the fire storms are a thousand miles thataway, in a different state (having said that, I stood outside last Friday night and could smell a bushfire somewhere to the west. But there are no trees between us and the Blue Mountains, so I wasn’t too worried).
So, this rain. It’s knocked over some trees:
Due to recent tree collapses within the vicinity of Oval No 1 and No 2 on the Camperdown Campus, an assessment of all trees within the area was completed by an independent arborist. The assessment found that many trees have reached or gone beyond their lifecycle and recommended removal of these trees due to the safety hazard they pose to staff, students and visitors to campus.
The Cardinal asks
How does a tree “go beyond its lifecycle”… life after death??
Any normal person would have said ‘the trees are old and are dead’. But I guess if you can talk that clearly you don’t get paid to be a tree consultant (sorry, ‘independent arborist’). Anyway, the email from the University continues,
As a result, we will be replacing a number of trees in this area with
the most significant impact around Oval No 2 where most of the current
trees need to be replaced. The Southern Blue Gums which are creating a
safety hazard, will be replaced with mature Angophoras which, as native
trees, will be more conducive to the locale and environment.
and I’m not even going to attempt to go there. I’ve still got a headache from editing Openlab ’08.
But, if you want to see a real, life, independent arborist, nip along to No 2 Oval entrance,
Western Avenue, Camperdown, tomorrow at 0930 (EDT) where there will be
an open information session to give you the opportunity to ask questions and discuss the removal procedure.
Which I can probably summarize as,
“We’re going to cut down the trees. Any questions?”
I was told the those species of trees are also known as “brittle gum” and “widowmakers.” Couple of Aussies in the lab were a bit ticked when the gov’t decided to plant some by a main road. Hope no one was hurt when that one fell!
Probably nobody was hurt but the three drunken undergraduates swinging from the branch. This being the cause of 112% of all tree-related damage inside University grounds.
drunken undergraduates
but you repeat yourself.
That headache was Martini-induced, wasn’t it?
Nope. That’s the beauty of a correctly mixed martini—and the reason, probably, Russians don’t fuck with vermouth.
There are community wildlife activists in our neighborhood group who refer to independent arborists as “tree executioners”. Makes me giggle every time.
I’m an independent arborist and I conform to the usual social norms to a satisfactory degree;
Between the hours of 11 pm and 5 am I assume a supine somnolent position, whereas between the hours of 9.30 and 5.30 (with one hour for lunch) I am engaged in arborescent employment as described above.
I
executeremove dangerously life-cycle-compromised lignified specimens of the sporophyte generation;I consume my mid-day repast during the prescribed hour;
I have occasional recourse to the toilet facilities.
Hmmm… could do with some editing.
bq. I … could do with some editing.
Indeed.
Been there.
Done that.
I wrote about it, too, but that was before the days of blogging.
I bet you did it better than a certain American blogger…
At least I had the decency to wait until after the operation.
And can I say how grateful we all are for that?
When I’d heard that Abel Pharmboy had liveblogged his vasectomy (I haven’t read it – please don’t send me the link) my first thought was how he’d done it, physically, as the operation involves lying flat on one’s back, which is not ideal for typing, and where would he have put the laptop? (Don’t answer that) – and the fact that some bloke is injecting one in the balls (twice. Once for each ball) which, I’d have thought, would impair the concentration.
Henry,
how much is it worth to you for me not to post the link?
(and can I say ‘bollocks’ again or would you get upset at that?)
c’mon post the link, here’s a fiver … watch hard candy) and imagine liveblogging during the procedure
What’s your offer, Henry?
Hah! I am above such squalid deals. Do your worst, Grant.
You have mail.
I’m sure this discussion could be wrenched back around to lumberjacks, and/or trees.
I’m equally sure that I have no idea how.
Then again, Henry, perhaps having both balls anesthetised actually improves concentration? Our womenfolk having said this for years makes me suspect.
Lumberjacks! It seem that in the wake of the Victorian fires that cutting down trees may become fashionable/legal again.
Nathanial +1 Tautology of the day
Penn State is a vast
bloatmoney grabbingcampus, and has undergraduate courses inanythingeverythingtree surgery. Was fun watching thelittle bastardskids learning to climb trees properly and pretend to cut the limbs off, on the streets around campus. Many a happy morn was spent was some poor sod dangling upside down by hisvasectomyankle…Nathaniel, having anything happen in the nether lands concentrates the mind wonderfully.
I did try to talk about trees but RPG (recommend parental guidance- in the movie classifcation system) derailed it again.