Nobody wins a war.
Ever since the summer of 2002, when the axis of evil—in the guise of huge, man-eating, orange slugs—swept up from Saffron Waldon and laid siege to the strawberry fields of Sawston (or at least, my corner of it), I’ve used the little blue pill without fear or favour, although maybe a pang of uneasiness.
It’s that pang, see?
My antipathy towards cats does not yet extend towards wanting to poison the furry little bastards, and I still haven’t been able to get a clear answer as to whether mortally wounded (or even dead) gastropods are likely to get eaten by the attent, sleek thrushes, and by eating, end them.
So I have been trying to find a less drastic method of protecting my garden, somewhere in between picking up up each slug or snail by hand (and throwing them into the neighbours’ garden crushing them beneath my booted feet) and laying waste to the earth.
Aside: it’s not that I’m a priori opposed to vicious chemicals. I’ve just sprayed my chilli plants with a rather deadly-smelling concoction. War is hell.
Up until now, my anti-gastropodial defences have consisted in a mix of petroleum jelly and red diesel, spread around the rim of the pots. This seems to be effective, although a bit tedious, and the supply of diesel is going to run out eventually: especially seeing as it makes an excellent starter for barbecue fuel. None of this poncy stuff that doesn’t actually catch light: I want the lighter fluid that harms the environment and kills fishes. A man’s got to light his fire—it’s a high steak game. And I can never find the Vaseline (stop sniggering, Brooks).
Seeing as it was a good friend gave me some strawberries and marigolds (prime slug/snail fodder) to get my garden started, I’m even more inclined to look after them. Henry suggested coffee grounds, so I’ve been keeping the byproducts of the espresso maker for two weeks now, and on Saturday afternoon, after transplanting the marigolds and some other plants (thanking my mother, the fount of all gardening knowledge, for the geraniums) I sprinkled the grounds round the freshly transplanted plants.
I have no idea whether it’s meant to be a thick covering, or a thin sprinkling, but there about two cereal bowls worth of grounds went into my Maginot Line. It was pointed out to me that slugs could, potentially, climb the fence and then abseil down onto my preciouses, but I decided I’d risk it for now.
And then, on Saturday night, it rained. It rained again Sunday.
Surely this would bring out the armies of Gastropod?
Well, I really don’t want to do the control experiment, but I searched for any sign of infestation this morning, and saw
I sounded the all clear. In my mind’s eye I can see a top level conference with General Slug and Field Marshal Snail planning how to breach my wall of caffeine, perhaps with soy milk and Splenda, but in the meantime, my plants are safe.
You have failed to entertain the possibility that my slug pellets have attracted and wasted every gastropod in a 0.5 mile radius, and you are merely benefiting from herd immunity.
This is true.
However, we did find some lively-looking snails in the garden on Saturday. They were disposed of. Perhaps they were trying to claim asylum from the battleground that is your front garden?
It’s a god job you don’t drink that instant rubbish.
Haven’t regularly drunk instant coffee since Maxwell House was considered posh. Hmm that probably says more about my background than I intended.
Another data point from SW18: the coffee grounds method is working for me too, in my case with runner beans and tomatoes. To prevent the coffee from becoming dilute with rain/soil admixture, I push a ring of plastic (usually a transverse section of a PET bottle) into the soil around the base of the plant, then put the coffee grounds inside the ring. Works a charm.
Good idea, Karen.
Oh, that reminds me: how much coffee do you think we need? A sprinkle or a veritable wall?
Another way of getting rid of slugs is collect them all up and feed them to ducks, who treat them as a rare delicacy. Our chickens eat them, too, but we were warned against this by a knowledgeable smallholder who said that slugs carry nasty chicken-threatening helminths.
And I can never find the Vaseline (stop sniggering, Brooks).
It’s not just Brooks who’s likely to snigger.
Henry, if you’d like to send Gees Minima and Minor to collect slugs and snails from my garden then please do.
I can always ask, but I’m afraid I already know the answer to that one.
We can supply as much chemical-laden soft drinks as they can drink.
Depends on the chemicals.
I’m sure we could come to an arrangement.
When you do collect them, send ’em to me. My back garden is being over-run with weeds, which could do with a healthy snacking on by an army of slugs.
The Gees minima and minor, or the slugs?
Either would do, depending on how the Junior Gees feel about eating dandelions and thistles.
I’m sure they’d do it. After all, it never did their father any harm.
Danedelions are OK. Thistles, though, are not what Tiggers Like Best.
Hang on, who’s the Tigger in this fantasy?
Snails, Vaseline and Tiggers. . . oh my!
Indeed. The thought police will be knocking on your door soon enough, Craig.
In the meantime, can anyone tell me if birds eat poisoned slugs?
I know they don’t eat the
luckyunfortunate ones that drown in beer…The easy answer is yes. Unless the taste is altered by the chemicals the birds will continue to eat them. Will this harm the birds? most likely not. According to a poster on the National Toxicology Programs website the LD50 in Rats is 250mg/kg for metaldehyde (the poison in the molluscicide).
A seagull would…
Just for comparison – according to Wikipedia the LD50 for Caffeine is 192mg/kg.
Why do you say ‘yes’ so definitely, Craig?
I can understand perhaps why the birds avoid beer, but to be honest I’ve seen so many corpses of slugs and snails lying around for days that I think the birds (hedgehogs too, probably) leave them alone. But I’d like to be sure.
Seagulls eat anything, Heidi! What about albatrosses?
Sorry Richard. My yes was to be qualified for only the slugs that had ingested the poison but were not dead yet. Once they are deceased I could see why the birds would shy away from them.
So the question becomes… how long does it take to kill a slug?
I presume you mean with metaldehyde. It takes me about 0.05 seconds to kill them, if I’m feeling particularly mean.
care to come and camp in my garden? I’ll pay you in pints per 50 slugs or snails killed.
Hm. Strikes me that when you lived in Oz, you offered my accomodation in a guest suite. Tent in the garden? In England? With SLUGS? I’ll have to think about that.
Oh heck with it, I’ll be right over. Now where’s me travel budget gone? Oh yes, it got cut. Rats.
I can provide a garden shed, if it helps. And chopsticks.