Sweet home Alabama

Posted on 14 April 2024 by rpg

It never ends.

Evil incarnate

Evil incarnate

There’s always something to do, whether it’s laying turf, repairing hoses, or pulling up the wild onions.

I’m taking advantage of the unexpected time off to fix things around the house and garden. In the best traditions of yak shaving, there’s always several things you need to do before you can fix the thing you set out to fix. The chess pieces you have to put on the board (and the multiple trips to Wickes) before you can actually drain the hanging water feature to reseal it.

And of course while I’m going around the garden I spot other things (including wild onions, natch) that I didn’t even think about before I saw them and I then I have to sort that out before I get to job I started—or intended to, anyway—a week ago.

And then there’s the stuff that critically fails just about just before you’re about to go out for your pre-birthday dinner.

Gaffer tape for the win

Gaffer tape is the best. Except when it’s black insulating tape.

Which resulted in another trip to Wickes on Saturday and, what of all days I’d forgotten, was Vaisakhi, which explains all the magnificent dastars, not to mention the surfeit of BMWs and Mercedes parked all the way up our road. And what should have been a 5-minute dash turned into a 20-minute detour through the less frequented parts of Gravesend and slightly elevated cortisol levels because I had to finish fixing the hose (and several other things, ibid) before an indeterminate number of people turned up for my birthday party.

FIRE

Fire makes it good

I did make it back in time to light the pizza oven, lay out the kegs, and even enlist the Pawns to help me decide whether any of our homemade wine was worth serving (or even legal). They didn’t take much persuading, it has to be said.

And the win, the real win, was that the 2023 harvest (Pinot Meunier and Chardonnay from the greenhouse vines and possibly even more Chardonnay from the barbecue corner [we have no idea what it is because we didn’t plant that vine. It just produces hundreds of pounds of grapes every year]) not only popped when I opened it, but retained its fizz, and was eminently drinkable (if a little cloudy at the moment). I have, finally, cracked the Merret problem, and we opened another bottle today and it was just as good.

Sparkles

Sparkles

How was your weekend?

Posted in Me, Offspring, Personal, Science-less Sunday | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Times They Are A-Changin’

Posted on 7 April 2024 by rpg

Hard to believe, but 4 years ago we were in lockdown. Bit of a shit time, really, with scary NHS bears yelling at us to STAY HOME, schools shut, people being shouted at for being (gasp) outside, and all that NHS crapping clapping. At least there was Joe Wicks.

Scary NHS bear

Let’s not do that ever again. Please.

It wasn’t all bad. I built a scale model of London City Airport (and of all the airports in the world this being the best is the hill I will die on). I learned how to make bagels.

And I built a treehouse.

Throw a pallet in a tree

This started with me throwing a pallet up into the willow tree and then figuring out what I needed to put on top of it, and then negotiating the shortages of all sorts of building materials (because everybody was at it, remember?) and fucking social fucking distancing at fucking Wickes to collect the damn materials once they were in stock and cramming it all into my tiny Peugeot (God rest her soul) to get them home.

Treehouse, nascent
Joshua, being 6 at the time, wasn’t exactly helpful, but at least he enjoyed it.

Today, nearly 4 years after assembling the roof and then disassembling it ‘cos I had to get it into the damn tree, I finished the project.

Oh, it’s been loved and used (and almost turned into a gin deck) since June 2020, but the skylight was just just a hole covered by loose roofing felt.

One of my ‘sabbatical‘ projects was to actually fit the skylight.

Today, dear reader, that happened.

Chisel

And Joshua was actually helpful. He was able to hold the window from the inside, chip away at the rough edges, and even wield the No More Nails gun to immense effect.

I guess 40% of your time on Earth will make that kind of difference.

How times change.

Posted in Don't try this at home, Offspring, Science-less Sunday | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

This is what we find

Posted on 31 March 2024 by rpg

While making Richard’s Famous Margaritas(tm) (note to self: post this on Magirism at some point) this afternoon, I had to clear the Triple Sec optic from the sugary gunge build-up. After cleaning, I picked up the wrong receptacle and dropped two measures of Triple Sec into the dregs of my Tribute instead of the cocktail shaker.

Optics

Jenny said something about my career coach and turning disaster into opportunity, so I dropped in the juice of half a lime and a couple of measures of pisco and made something that was quite wonderful.

Come to my birthday party and discover more about this metaphor.

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The Country Life

Posted on 24 March 2024 by rpg

I set up a WhatsApp group for the locals, so I can let them know when I have eggs available.

“Hello Richard!” they’ll message, “Any eggs available today?”

At this time of year, with an average of 4 eggs daily, the answer is invariably ‘yes!’, and they’ll pop round, cash in hand, 20 minutes later.

There’s something deeply satisfying about the whole arrangement.

I also have a standing order (6 eggs/fortnight) and an advance order for Easter Saturday, so I have to watch supplies, but I still had 2 eggs at lunch today, as well as enough to make gelato and pavlova.

In news to warm the cockles of Henry’s, I planted out my potatoes today. Jenny has been chitting the Maris Pipers and the Charlottes since January, and now they’re looking alien enough to go in the ground. It’s also past the Spring Solstice, so the time is right, and in they go.

I’ve got 2 rows of six of each, plus a couple of tubs for the leftovers. It’s taken about 8 years but the main ‘physic’ patch in the garden felt like real soil this afternoon, so we’re hopeful for a decent crop.

Po-tay-toes

Po-tay-toes

 

Posted in Gardening, Nature | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

My Generation

Posted on 15 March 2024 by rpg
Lady Tulip

Lady Tulip

Back in January I predicted that we would hit our 14 kWh daily average sometime around the end of April.

I was a little off, as we first passed that marker on 1 March—surprisingly for such a rainy day, I thought. The battery kept us going all night, too.

Since then, we’ve had a week of 10 to 13 kWh, and then we’ve been wet and gloomy and down at the 5 kWh per day level. But yesterday we were just shy of 20 kWh, and the battery again lasted the night.

I ran the Zappi this morning though, and it’s clouded over again, so we’re still not turning a profit.

We had the tall eucalyptus tree trimmed last weekend, as it was tall enough to reach the house if it fell in the wrong direction, and was throwing shade on the solar panels in the afternoon. I don’t think I’m going to be able to test what difference it has actually made to the generation, but it had to be worth something.

In any case, the days are getting longer and brighter, the tulips and cherries are coming into bloom, and all five ladies are doing the business, sometimes all on the same day. I’ve also turned the heating off.

Eggs

They sure are

You really can’t stop it now.

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Country House

Posted on 10 March 2024 by rpg

It’s March, and that means there’s far too much stuff to do in the garden.

Beans bursting out

Bean love

A few years ago we went to a PYO and got a pumpkin (or 12, whatever). It was a Blue Hubbard, and we saved the seeds and sowed them the next year.

We got a bit of a sport from that that mother, cute in a blue-ish, wonky sort of way, and my daughters for whatever reason named it ‘Ken’. The family chat group, somewhat inevitably, was renamed ‘The Ken Fan Club’. Over the years the chat has been renamed ‘Son of Ken fan club’, and of course ‘Ken III fan club” as we (mostly Jenny, to be honest) have saved and vernalized seeds from each subsequent generation.

Today I sowed some Ken III seeds and we hope that this season we will welcome Ken IV (and turn him and his siblings into pumpkin pie, but let’s not talk about that yet).

Ken and friends

They look small now…

I also sowed sweetcorn and mange tout and peas and while that doesn’t take up much space at the moment, we’re going to have to pot them on at some point.

But as Jenny said of the 34 sweetcorn pots, “We’ll worry about where to put them later”.

Sweet. Corn.

I remember when this was all fields.

Posted in Gardening | Tagged | 1 Comment

Take Five

Posted on 3 March 2024 by rpg

It‘s a crazy mixed up world, and the snowdrops were early and then the daffs were late but now there‘s tulips, tulips I tell you, showing their red little faces among the hyacinths and the daffs at the Gillingham roundabout.

It‘s probably something to do with climate change and technically being in an ice age but who knows? Life still, fortunately, goes on, and our hens have woken up to the fact it‘s 2024. First Iris (a while ago, now) and then Arty and Athena, and finally, today, Rhea lays a misshapen but ever-so-welcome little blue-green egg and suddenly I‘m going to have to start selling eggs to the neighbours again.

Eggs

Eggsellent work, ladies.

Nike, of course, is wondering what all the fuss is about.

 

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Opportunities

Posted on 29 February 2024 by rpg

It’s a horrible word, redundant. ‘No longer needed or useful; superfluous’.

I don’t feel superfluous, but have to admit to feeling a little less than useful.

Some people have been very kind, noting my efforts to continue to support my little team and make sure they’ve got what they need to navigate these tricky waters, while others sail on, seemingly oblivious.

Can’t really blame them—those of us who are being shepherded out probably feel like an embarrassment; best not to say anything, or even look in our direction.

Titanic in color

It’s all a bit shit, really.

On the other hand, I’ve had an outpouring of support and interest on LinkedIn. Nothing firmed up yet, but despite the industry being in a bit of a patch at the moment, especially for people at my level, it’s not looking so bad.

I’m trying to see this as an opportunity to refocus, and think about things, and do some gardening and reading and shooting and I really really really hope to do a substantial amount of writing. It’s my last day tomorrow, and I can’t wait.

I do need to find a new job at some point, but one step at a time.

I’ve got the brains…

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Games Without Frontiers

Posted on 25 February 2024 by rpg

My enthusiasm for sport has always surpassed my ability. Except for soccer. At school, me and John Grant would always play in defence and hope the ball never came our way. I still don’t see the point of that one.

But I enjoyed cricket and tug-of-war (I wasn’t very heavy but I had brains and understood the importance of rhythm), and hockey and swimming, and above all, rugby.

We’re fortunate now to live right next door to not one but two rugby grounds, and a year and a half ago I got around to signing away our Sunday mornings to take Joshua to rugby training.

It’s been a ‘journey’, but the squad is finally coming together, and in their little matches Joshua is showing flashes of genius, not to mention grit and determination—and kittens for his mother.

He had 2 days with Saracens coaches at half term, along with four of his squad-mates, and it might have made a difference.

He’ll also happily sit and watch the 6 Nations, cheering along whoever is playing (let’s not mention the Calcutta Cup though), and even though he was cheering for France at the outset was quite devastated when Paolo Garbisi’s rushed penalty bounced off the posts.

He’s also discovered that he can swim. He’s been having lessons since he was 5 or 6, but something has suddenly clicked, to the extent that when his primary school trust organized (I use the term loosely) a gala at the Olympic Park in Stratford, and his school only had four swimmers for a 5-lap relay, he was chosen to swim twice and helped the team to a silver medal—the only podium slot his school managed that day.

So he’s not just smart and handsome, but athletic too. Probably all due to his mum, again.

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Family Tree

Posted on 18 February 2024 by rpg

We’re blessed to have a larger-than-usual garden (for these parts). Legend has it that when they built this development at the arse-end of the 1980s, what-was-to-become our plot was down for 2 (or even 3) houses, but they didn’t get planning permission for that, so we ended up with double the regulation size garden.

It’s not some manicured mansionly acre, but a rising jumble of joyousness and birdsong and weeds and flowers and  trees. Definitely trees. You can’t have too many trees, we say to ourselves, more frequently than is perhaps healthy.

And we can always find space for one more, although I’ve been saying “But we don’t have room” for at least the past 6 saplings we’ve put in.

We planted a walnut tree about five years ago, and we’ve had one nut off it (and the squirrels [fuckersfluffy-tailed tree rats] have had two). It’s somewhat shaded by the vast and mighty laurel out the front of the property, which we don’t want to do anything with because the robins and sparrows and blackbirds live there. But that’s not conducive to walnuts growing quickly.

Jenny says “Maybe we should have another one, in the back garden where it’s sunny.” So she bought me one for Valentine’s day, and now we have another tree.

Squeezed between the less-good cherry, one of the magnolias, and the path.

I’m sure it’ll like it here.

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