The only thing worse than a grant deadline…

Posted on June 29, 2010 by Cath@VWXYNot?

…is a grant with no deadline.
A little while ago, DrDrA at Blue Lab Coats wrote a post about the “total rush” of the grant writing process. As a professional grant wrangler, I have to say that parts of her post rang very true – lastminutitis is endemic in my department, and there is an adrenaline rush involved in pulling everything together and getting it submitted on time. On grant deadline days when I come in and sit down at my computer, I like to imagine myself as an air traffic controller getting ready to safely bring everyone home without any crashing and burning.
Our current grant is a very different beast. There’s no deadline – it’s a long story – and hence no panic, but also no adrenaline. With no deadline there are more opportunities to tweak, and the process is dragging on and on and on and on and, yes, on, slooooowly eroding the sanity of everybody involved. It’s less like manning an air traffic control desk, and more like a nine hour layover at Dallas Fort Worth.
I think we scientists are so conditioned to deadlines that we start to lose our ability to work efficiently without them. DrDrA may be right when she calls it an addiction.
“My name is Cath, and I am a deadlinaholic”

About Cath@VWXYNot?

"one of the sillier science bloggers [...] I thought I should give a warning to the more staid members of the community." - Bob O'Hara, December 2010
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7 Responses to The only thing worse than a grant deadline…

  1. Elizabeth Moritz says:
    June 29, 2010 at 9:51 pm

    I knew just what you were talking about Cath, on the day of the deadline when you sit at your desk ready to get it all organized and in. I have a small addition to to-do/checklists, so I’m in seventh heaven on deadline day as I cross off each item as it’s uploaded/submitted/etc.
    Sounds like with this current grant you need to come up with a fake deadline. Otherwise, how could it ever truly be finished? There’s always the chance then to get better data or images, more replicates, more edits to the writing, updating citations of recent papers, etc!

  2. Jennifer Rohn says:
    June 29, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    You could start setting milestones enforced with chocolate incentives.

  3. vishal kalel says:
    June 29, 2010 at 10:18 pm

    brief yet wonderful post Cath..!
    Something what I needed to refresh after my “Comment on Comment on Comment” race today.
    “The only thing worse than a grant deadline….is a grant with no deadline” I was laughing for long on first line itself.
    lastminutitis and deadlinaholic wrenched my viscera out of laughter..
    And above all the Blue Lab Coats blog will keep me hooked for next few days..

  4. Cath Ennis says:
    June 29, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    Elizabeth, I’m glad it’s not just me! (I like ticking things off lists too). Other people think I’m nuts.
    We’ve already passed a couple (being charitable) fake deadlines!
    Jenny, chocolate might work (it got me through the harder parts of my thesis), but only on local PIs – some of them are waaaay up North, others are in the UK.
    Vishal, I’m sorry about your viscera! 🙂
    Have fun at Blue Lab Coats – it’s a great blog!

  5. jitesh dundas says:
    June 30, 2010 at 2:22 am

    I have started working on a research grant for the first time and I must admit that this is a major headache! How do manage to be a professional in doing all this? 🙂 .You must some kind of a genius or god must have blessed you with some special capabilities.
    Working on a paper is still possible for an HIJ, but grant proposals is just really really difficult. HOw do you write successful grants Cath? Any advise for starters like me..

  6. jitesh dundas says:
    June 30, 2010 at 2:27 am

    Hi Cath,
    “Jenny, chocolate might work (it got me through the harder parts of my thesis), but only on local PIs – some of them are waaaay up North, others are in the UK.”
    You seem to be a goddess in disguise! I have my professors in the east and the west. This really is a major issue, especially when you would like to talk to them.
    Chocolate :)…hmmmm..I could try that myself . Why do I get the feeling that this will work fine for me as well as on my boss..
    Thanks for the advise..

  7. Cath Ennis says:
    July 5, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    Hi Jitesh, thanks for your comments!
    It’s hard to give generic grant writing advice, because it depends so much on your field, on the funding body, and on the specific competition run by that organisation. And even the advice that does hold across all these variables is well beyond the scope of this post – it would take hours to write! (I included some brief pointers in the comments of this post). There are lots of websites with general advice, and you should also check the websites of the funding bodies to which you are applying for more specific guidelines.

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