Many, many thanks to Kimli for alerting me to “That Can Be My Next Tweet!“, a tool that creates mash-ups of bits and pieces of your most recent tweets to create much hilarity.
My twitter stream is kinda schizophrenic at the best of times, but what with the ongoing NHL playoffs and Canadian election campaign adding to my usual output relating to science, politics, current affairs, cycling, and life in general, some really funny stuff came out. Here are some highlights:
- Two very tight 3-way race in Nature! I haven’t jumped yet! : REVOLUTION!!!111!!
- I don’t know if you’re a former LPC wife-bot? I’m accustomed to ride year-round, I’d consider a monarchy!
- O Canada! No : REVOLUTION!!!111!! Mr E Man I spoke French well you doing it wrong.
- Does anyone who will NOT repeating debate will drive u crazy. Having a Canucks game instead
- I was GAME DAY!!! I WILL NOT vote for the dog Hubby is amplified using standard XMRV primers:
- Should P-cadherin come dressed as the future? Hello, it’s going well! Man I get a good quality internet
- Why yes, but in Gibsons??!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Mr. Harper, please don’t fear community labs : calm down
- Iggy: I already have been normal-to-slightly-asocial in MONTHS, the grown-up version of a year or try to!
- Iggy hit Harper hard on roads w good sites? yes, but both have to register their minds until he’s had?
- Man I became a control. BURN! Jack Layton is happily ranting on 4 hours to boost insect habitats: BBC!
- I want to follow the old testament: God is good. For my iPhone app – CBC News – but both have ducks!
- This is the old testament: God is your friend, aren’t they?! I WILL NOT vote for Force and Canada.
- O Canada! I’ll be a man who knocks on the BBC, saw it on 4 subsequent tax returns from Anaheim.
- Looking for anyone who don’t fear, community labs : I hope you’re afraid of damage. Great that sucks!
- No hockey pool, you’re a non-citizen, but ignored all the tea’s perfectly brewed.
- Interesting stuff! Oocyte-Specific Differences in human history. I already have ducks!
You should try it! It’s fun. Half of it’s just gibberish,
- Last time for his friends that was definitely tell that sentence does not very sensible.
but you can get a quick and easy blog post out of it
- Great idea! Have fun. I’m not compute. You *always* need for best posts!
And how exactly is that different to your usual twitter stream?
“My country music heart just like a bib. If things for the cops a Venn diagram of me to vote to see and.”
“Doing mine tonight! Thanks for sponsoring tonight. Nasty business, losing wallets and Warren G.”
“It’s insidious and some folks here in Gastown. I had a client my barber cleaned and grabbed one around!”
“Every bus is 98 days late on my smiling face is terrible. I’m a bunch of those guys like making some.”
“WTF – I lost. If I’m at a Venn diagram would have any business playing the sales meetup for me.”
This is great. The rest of the weekend’s a write-off.
“With cake is long gone. Block Party is 98 days late for having broken your accent at 12th Ave.”
“I broke my accent at 12th Ave” sounds like it could be a song written by your country music heart. Although it would have been better if it was Broadway or Main Street.
“Vote now to talking about religion. But bugger, we’re both atheists. I hope you missed the Germans will!”
Very nice! Have you tried The Beast’s feed yet?
My slaves today. They do it. I’m an Aussie, but they’re in time for this twitter thing just in the?
Shoes are for The only way I can donate my shit, if he isn’t here. I live in hope.
Yawn? (yes, that was the whole tweet)
The slave’s been telling me out of the bedroom! I’m sorry.
OMG. The only tasty plant out of you COME HOME AND FEED ME. Must remember – why do peppermint flavour.
These totally are my future tweets. HOW DOES IT KNOW? I am sitting here howling with laughter!
“Hereditary blindness on the best writer-uppers eat lots of the account already. We’re in the day as well.”
“I’m actually ‘s. The DNA model is a pie? I can put the cheese and the price change? Nice.”
“Yay! I’ll give a post I have two places at tonight, she went with crypt analysis talk?”
“Went to make for the next few weeks: I’m going to turn into a post-it swap.”
“Yay! I’ll work out at a postdoc. I have a pen that area, let me just for the whole post. Ugh, humans.”
“Hm. Node stats for the DNA HELIX! No problem! Also, apple pie… Has a fourth bag that reads like he’s?”
“I’m *blind* to re-read a huge bag. They might want to breathe. Parked in co-proposing w/ me like it was?”
“YAY TWITTER. And I’ll also have it at scibarcamb. Phone reception not directly, but drop you for writing.”
“HOME. It was the balloon DNA in EVERY PICTURE taken in Canada, and a line at all events on the next few!”
and then I got THE BEST ONE yet.
“Not at home. Maybe not at once. Must clone self before the table here. More organised update later.”
LMAO! You got some great ones. I like the one about the cheese and the price change, as well as the cloning one.
I was laughing SO HARD while generating my tweets and picking my favourites. Mr E Man thinks I’m quite mad.
And my favourite of yours is “Should P-cadherin come dressed as the future? Hello, it’s going well! Man I get a good quality internet”
Good quality internet indeed!
I know! I <3 the internet.
I never did get a reply to my Twitter query about whether P-cadherin should come before or after PARP1 in an alphabetic list…
Some of those sentences sound like the postdoctoral applications I get.
Also, ““Should P-cadherin come dressed as the future?” That’s precisely what what of my grant reviewers wrote in his/her critique. Precisely they were using “That Can Be My Next Tweet!”?
Great for critiquing grants! Drive the authors nuts.
And suddenly, so much idiocy makes so much sense… people have clearly been using this site for years!
Most of mine were so jibberish they didn’t make any sense, let alone any funny. This one did make me laught: “Iggy: We fought hard, but their stupid website work. :S Also need more stuff in the lunchroom!”
I didn’t know “more stuff in the lunchroom” was part of the LPC platform! I’d vote for that!
Super goal from Cromer – answers from Nature FB page has come back to find a cult.
Mention her and now I have a relief Super goal from FUTURES, the total hypocritical slimeball he shall.
So much. Reading Regular Retribution Rising Football Bone Shows that there Trying to me scribble all over!
Them One endeavours to run a ‘study’, it’s not worshipping at so much? I think it’s not – but those!
Can anyone find a galaxy of Return of the other Croxi get worse… The death threats are no clue what a?
New post: Fanfare For The Maison Des Girrafes Caption Competition just sent – this week’s new science!
New post: Fanfare For The Angel of Life?’ by adenovirus. We are not looking after 30 mins. Poo.
Is it Facebook or Nature that’s a cult? Either way, I’ll suggest worshipping at our next study to see if we can get it published there (Nature, not Facebook).
Many of mine were completely incomprehensible. These were a little less so:
OK! Wintry mix has settled over 2 proteins of asking other excellent suggestions : Happy birthday!!
Interesting-a Netflix-esque model for a well-designed, well-planned, and grabbibg shot of migraines.
That’s why you’re in my computer and a sitcom so will be awesome. Check back on its context.
Nice… Font fiends e.g. Separate Ways Worlds Apart” by the hopper a nap before submission of ppl ; 😀 So?
What about the piglet squid… At a recent addition? I think of demolished by Journey I cannot cope with.
Thanks, for women only”. Worried you have more depressing than prev versions.
Oi. MT reports annual mtg I’ve been to specify that. I’ve almost finished The Alchemy of your Fri pm.
Is piglet squid a real thing, or was that a mashup?! Either way, it sounds adorable!
The piglet squid is actually a real thing 🙂
ZOMG! What a fabulously weird and wonderful (not to mention adorable) creature!
And now I got this:
Is a pancake: RT: It’s not reading could always declare pi approximation day in German.
A pancake is not an approximation of a pie. Not even close. Stoopid Germans.
It’s been a bit disappointing on my (scarily voluminous) Twitter archive, though started quite promisingly with:
Best one so far, with a definite Yoda feel:
Though the programme seems to have my measure, as it just spat out:
Oh no! That’s a little harsh!
My turn! Move over…
1) Don’t self-flagellate–that would be flattered? Great new novel, Matter Over Mind at the paper Agreed!
2) Addicting-yes, but like I’m not backwards like I’m out of a whole row on your first? I need meds…
3) Hey– what replied to Beethoven- or 1690 days ago you swear you are scrambling to forgo future income.
4) Then you’ll love Monkey’s Wrench. If this is your backhand. How’s your first?
5) It must Another fascinating post by at Happy Holidays. You’re not being drafted, could probably grade on?
6) Polarizing, definitely! Actually more frequently than my laptop… Sure, that’s easy for the annual Dept!
7) Self-deprecating and anemic morphology? Creationist naughty bits are toxic to fiendish soap dishes.
Unbelievable–I couldn’t have said it better myself. Makes more sense than I do.
BTW– #7 is entirely my own creation and not from “That can be my next tweet!”
Just wanted to see if I could get away with some cool insults and blame the program in the future!
“guess the fake mashup tweet” could be a new parlour game – charades for the online generation!
Oh, drat you Cath… 😀
Bah. Mobile apps bundled w/ more things bundled. Still. re: the re)tweets for the dreaded killer?
Two hours? When is a mention of science funding cuts revisited – how I can borrow?
I feel right thing to post 2nd Blogpimp part 2 of piloted water-bottle transport cart.
Just swabbed my British cultural memory. And in the internet reveals I’m in NRG 2007) To City Trawler FTW!
Right, I’m off to swab my British cultural memory. Again.
The second one makes far too much sense. I don’t like it, not one little bit!
Actually, I just fed in Stephen Harper’s official feed (@pmharper) and among tweets that sound (almost) like genuine Tory policy announcements, I got one that said simply this:
“Watch the future”.
LOL.My brain automatically began trying to solve them as though they were cryptic crossword clues. Not that it gets very far with crosswords either!
HA! You’re right, they *are* like cryptic crossword clues! Nicely spotted 😀
Way too much fun. Now I know how I’m going to get through the rest of my work day…
Careful now – see previous comments about me and Eva both howling with laughter while reading ours! Don’t get caught 🙂