The Hilarity of Homeopathic Housing

Thanks (I think) go to Rob Hinkley for pointing out John Benneth’s blogpost “IN ONE YEAR: Homeopathy could have helped. It’s the bloggy equivalent of walking around with a “Kick Me” label sellotaped to your back.

Here’s a selection:

30,000 or more children were left permanently physically disabled from abuse and neglect. Child abuse in the United States afflicts more children each year than leukemia, automobile accidents, and infectious diseases combined. With growing unemployment, incidents of abuse by jobless parents increased dramatically. Homeopathy could have helped with individualized constitutional treatments and a remedy such as Magnesium muriaticum

I’m guessing there hasn’t been a Phase III clinical trial to assess the effectiveness of Magnesium muriaticum in preventing child abuse.

In one year 85,000 Americans were wounded by firearms, of which 38,000 die, 2,600 children. Homeopathy could have helped with ledum pelustre , aconitum napellum, arnica Montana and individualized constitutional treatments.

Can homeopathic remedies be used as bulletproof armour?

150,000 American children are reported missing every year. 50,000 of these simply vanish. Their ages range from one year to mid-teens. According to the New York Times, “Some of these are dead, perhaps half of the John and Jane Does annually buried in this country are unidentified kids.” Homeopathy could have helped with individualized treatments. Homeopathy could have helped with remedies like Absin. Cimic. OP. Phos. Plb. Rhus-t. Staph. Stram., Falco-p, and Magnesium muriaticum

Homeopathy prevents children running away?

In one year 180,000 Americans had adverse reactions to all medical treatments, more than were killed by airline and automobile accidents combined. Homeopathy could have helped with remedies such as Agar. Ant-c. Bry. Chin. COLOC. Hydr. Lach. NUX-V. Op. Ruta and Sulph.

But does homeopathy prevent car and plane accidents? Enquiring minds need to know.

700,000 American women were raped, one every 45 seconds. Homeopathy could have helped with remedies such as Staphysagria, AIDS Cench. Kreos. LSD. Petr. Posit. Sep.

At this point one I find I have nothing funny to write.

In one year 1,000,000 American children ran away from home, mostly because of abusive treatment, including sexual abuse from parents and other adults. Of the many sexually abused children among runaways, 83 percent came from white families. Homeopathy could have helped with remedies like Lyc., Falco-p. Herin.

You’ve already told us that homeopathy prevents children running away, as well as child abuse. Although, oddly, only Falco-p is indicated both times.

1,126,000 of the elderly live in nursing homes. A large but undetermined number endured conditions of extreme neglect, filth, and abuse in homes that were run with an eye to extracting the highest possible profit. Homeopathy could have helped with individualized treatment.

At about this point I’m getting pissed off.

1,800,000 elderly Americans who live with their families were subjected to serious abuse such as forced confinement, underfeeding, and beatings. The mistreatment of elderly people by their children and other close relatives grew dramatically as economic conditions worsened. Homeopathy could’ve helped the victims in their recovery and the victimizers with their anger with remedies such as Nux-v, Cere-s. LSD. Posit. Salx-f. Staph..

LSD? Will that help with my anger at Benneth?

2,000,000 or more Americans are homeless, forced to live on the streets or in makeshift shelters. Homeopathy could have helped with remedies such as Selenium metallicum., Calcareaa, and Silicea.

Homeopathic houses? Isn’t that what the homeless already have?

2,400,000 million Americans suffered from incapacitating chronic fatigue. Homeopathy could have helped with remedies such as Am-c. Ant-c. Arg-n. Atro. Aur. Bapt. Berb. Beryl. Brom. Calc-caust. Calc-p. Calc. Camph. Cann-i. Carb-an. Carb-v. Carc. Chin. Cocc. Coff. Ferr. Gels. Ign. Kali-p. Lyc. Mag-c. Mag-m. Nat-m. Nux-v. Onos. Op. Ph-ac. Phos. Pic-ac. Scut. Sel. Sep. Sil. Stann. Sulph. and Thuj.

After taking all of that I’d be chronically fatigued too.

2,900,000 American children were reportedly subjected to serious neglect or abuse, including physical torture and deliberate starvation. Homeopathy could have helped with remedies such as Ignatia, Ars. Sep. and Staph.

The word “glib” just sprang into my mind.

In one year 3,000,000 American workers were unemployed but not counted because their unemployment benefits had run out, or they never qualified for benefits, or they had given up looking for work, or they joined the armed forces because they were unable to find work. Homeopathy could have helped with remedies such as Arg-n. Cadm-s. Calc. Cham. Cygnus-b. Gran. Hyos. Ind. Kali-c. Kali-p. Kali-s. Nat-m. Nux-v. Petr. Puls. Ran-b. Sanic. Sel. Sil. Sulph. Tab. Tarax. And Tong.

Homeopathic jobs, perhaps? Or homeopathic benefits?

In one year 4,500,000+ American children, or more than half of the 9,000,000 children, were on welfare, suffering from malnutrition. Many of these suffer brain damage caused by prenatal and infant malnourishment. Homeopathy could have helped with remedies such as Nat-s, Fl-ac., Iodatum, Lycopodium, Sulphur, Sepia, Phosphorus, Platina, petroleum, Aconitum, Agaricus, Anacardium, Hepar, Causticum, Alcoholus sulphurus, Mezerreum, Opium, Natrum carbonic, kali phosphoricum.

I guess homeopathy could help if the malnutrition was primarily dehydration.

In one year five and a half million (5,500,000) Americans are arrested for something more than a traffic violation.
Homeopathy could have helped with the problems that led up to the arrest, such as over 40 remdies indicated by violent anger, such as Agar. BELL. HYOS. LSD. STRAM. For violent rage, and 80 indicated by alcoholism, such as Alum. Bov. Con. Indicated by easy intoxication. When cross indexed with remedies for violent rage and 125 remedies for cancer, Conium stands out as a key remedy.

“Sorry officer, I’ve taken Cronium so I can’t possibly have been robbing this house”
How many traffic violations are also due to violent anger or alcoholism? Or is one not able to drive after taking a homeopathic remedy?

In one year 13 million (13,000,000) Americans were victims of crimes such as assault, rape, armed robbery, burglary, larceny, and arson. My quick reckoning estimates that number is more than 4% of the population were subjected to theft or violence. That means that at thirteen million a year, within 25 years the entire U.S. population could be robbed or assaulted. That means that homeopathy could help the entire U.S. population with remedies such Sulphur, Calcarea Carbonica, Lycopodium, Arsenicum Album, Thuja., Aconitum Napellus., Nux Vomica., Pulsatilla, Silica, Hepar, China Officinalis, Belladonna, Bryonia., Arnica Montana.

Homeopathy: tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime.
(BTW, extra marks for anyone who can see why the the 25 years statistic is nonsense)

With so much violence, should it be surprising that 135,000 American children took guns to school? Homeopathy could have helped. …

Damn, if only it would do the kids’ homework too.

… Could it be that these children had come to believe that they were so quietly terrified that they had to carry a firearm to school? Other reasons might be given, such as the feelings of anger, control or power that firearm gives one, but I submit to you that the primary cause is terror. Twelve remedies are indicated by cross indexing violence and fear: Nux-v, Nat-m, Hyoscamus, Ledum palustre, Stramonium, Aurum, Belladonna, Bryonia, Veratrum, Arunica, Chamomille, Cicuta virosa, Nitric acid.

How about terror at being forced to take homeopathic remedies, eh? Didn’t think of that one did you, eh?

In one year African Americans constituted 13 percent of drug users but 35 percent of drug arrests, 55 percent of drug convictions and 74 percent of prison sentences. For non-drug offenses, African Americans got prison terms that averaged about 10 percent longer than Caucasians for similar crimes.
Homeopathy could have helped.

Should homeopaths be at the forefront in the fight against racism? If judges take homeopathic remedies, do they hand out shorter sentences? Or does it make them blind to skin colour and accent?

In one year 6,000,000 Americans were in “contingent” jobs, or jobs structured to last only temporarily. About 60 percent of these reportedly would prefer permanent employment.
Homeopathy could have helped.

Homeopathy: the ultimate job creation scheme.

In one year the majority of Americans were living at or below the poverty level experience hunger during some portion of the year. Homeopathy could have helped with 17 remedies indicated by a fear of poverty.

Dunno about you, but I’d rather tackle poverty – the cause of fear – rather than the symptoms.

In one year 15,000,000 or more Americans were part-time or reduced-time “contract” workers who needed full-time jobs and working without benefits. Homeopathy could have helped with a vast repertoire of FDA regulated drugs that have been found to be effective in inexpensively helping people with any emotional or physical problem.

I’m impressed by the implication that having a part-time job is an “emotional or physical problem”.

May God Bless America . . with homeopathy.

I wonder if John Benneth lives in Europe.
Yes, I’m (largely) being silly here, but I’m sorry – Benneth’s hubris and inability to be clear about what homeopathy is meant to be treating was asking for it. the alternative would be to get seriously angry. Some of the ailments Benneth describes (abuse, poverty, homelessness) are serious problems, and the suggestion that taking sugar pills or drinking diluted water will solve these ills is, at best, extremely dumb. If Mr. Benneth wishes to be taken seriously, I think he needs to produce evidence, not just that the remedies work against anger, alcoholism etc, but also that they are effective in alleviating the problems associated with abuse, sexual assault, guns etc.