After starting to recover from this week’s shenanigans, I spotted this sign on the BBC website and I knew what I had to do.
I still don’t have the final files for Very Important Submission, by the way.
After starting to recover from this week’s shenanigans, I spotted this sign on the BBC website and I knew what I had to do.
I still don’t have the final files for Very Important Submission, by the way.
(Why, yes, I do get most of my news headlines from the BBC website. Why do you ask?)
Returning to my building just now with my healthy balanced lunch1 in hand, I was stopped in the street by a younger woman who I assume was a student. I really need to stop wearing my work ID badge while out of my department2, because apparently to some people the tell-tale purple lanyard represents The Source Of All Knowledge.
Student: “Excuse me, do you know where the seminar is?”
Me: “No. I mean, which seminar?”
Student: “It got moved forward half an hour and I can’t find it.”
Me: “Who’s speaking?” (thinking that this might narrow down the possible venues according to their size).
Student: “I don’t know, it’s about genetics… epi, epigenetics… something like that.”
Me: “Sorry, no idea. There are like twenty seminar rooms in these two buildings.”
Student: “……..oh.” (Walks off looking peeved with my failure to help).
I could say something about the perception of scientists by my parents my friends the general public. Or about the expectation that I will be able to converse at length about Uncle Joe’s diabetes, or whether I think Pluto should be a planet.
But I think I’ll just enjoy my cookie instead.
fn1.teeny salad, cranberry juice, crisps and a cookie
fn2.other reasons being patients in the clinical building thinking I am the other kind of Doctor, and bus drivers confusing me by saying “good morning, Catherine” as I validate my ticket. On the other hand it does get me a 5% discount at a local beer and wine store.
(I don’t know why one footnote tag is working, but not the other. Oh well, you know what I mean).
PhizzleDizzle, tragic Nickleback fan extraordinaire, tagged me for this meme.
RULES:
a) Put your MP3 player, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle
b) For each question (capitalised), press the next button to get your answer.
c) YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
d) Tag at least 5 people
e) Everyone tagged has to do the same thing (no they don’t, actually)
f) Have Fun! (Step f is not required)
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY?
“I know what I know” (Paul Simon)
I certainly do
2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
“Señor Matanza” (Mano Negra)
Erm…
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
“Jenny was a friend of mine” (The Killers)
So I guess I like… my ex-friend Jenny?
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
“Mean Mr. Mustard” (The Beatles)
Ewww, but he’s a pervert
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
“Bar Italia” (Pulp)
So… to buy coffees for hungover people in Soho?
6. WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?
“The new pollution” (Beck)
I didn’t say it was a very good motto
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“Be somebody” (Kings of Leon)
That’s not very nice of them, eh? Don’t they know I already am somebody?
8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“Old-fashioned love” (Dick Hyman Group feat. Howard Alden)
Icky
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“Little acorns” (The White Stripes)
Be like the squirrel! Be like the squirrel! Mwa ha ha ha, I’m quite mad you know
10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
“Until the lion learns to speak” (K’naan)
…I will not answer that question on his behalf
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“Let it be” (The Beatles)
My BFF is way more grown-up and sorted than I am, so, yeah, if it ain’t broke…
12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“A Wrong Turn” (Les Finnigan, local guitarist)
I sincerely hope not!
13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
“Uncle Jonny” (The Killers)
no no no NO. I don’t even have an Uncle Jonny, but this is just wrong.
14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Heard ’em say” (Kanye West feat. Adam Levine)
Actually he probably thinks “heard her say… and say… and say… does she ever shut up?”
15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
“Fake plastic trees” (Radiohead)
We didn’t, actually, although I really like the song
16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“The touch of your lips” (Chet Baker)
Ewwww, again
17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
“Help the aged” (Pulp)
LOL I have totally been thinking about finding a local senior centre or something to volunteer at. Seriously. I like old people, they have the best stories.
18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
“Paranoid android” (Kirsty Rock cover of the Radiohead song)
Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh Marvin, noooooooooooooo! Put the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster down!
19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“Pull this blanket off” (The Raconteurs)
I swear I am not really a pervert
20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
“The love song” (K-OS)
Oh my
21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
“Verbal anime” (The Herbaliser feat. Rakaa Iriscience)
I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean
22. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
“Every breath you take” (The Police)
The anthem of stalkers everywhere
I tag: anyone who has any of these songs on their iPod (or equivalent).
This is a faithful and accurate account of my internal monologue during the last 24 hours or so. It contains lots of foul language. All of it is justified.
1) Pride (as in, before a fall)
Tra la la, my boss has gone away and left me in charge of Very Important Submission. I am soooo important.
I don’t have all the files yet, but I can upload what I do have and make sure it looks OK.
That’s weird. Why is Massive Sciencey Organisation’s website saying “Thank you for your submission?” I hadn’t finished, why would it think I’d submitted?
2) Shock
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Ohmygod what have I done? And how does the back of my neck get so hot, so quickly, when I realise I’ve fucked something up?
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
3) Denial
Quick, hurry, quick quick, click on the other open tab in my browser. Ooooooh, look, Google Reader! Maybe if I read a blog post or two, the scary message in the other tab will go away.
“Sign Win!” – heh heh, that’s pretty damn funny.
OK, let’s check to see if that worked.
4) Shock
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
And ohmygod, it’s sent a submission receipt message to my boss. I’m gonna have to email him and tell him what I did.
I seriously think I might vomit.
Noooooooooooooooooooooo and one more FUCK
5) Bargaining
OK. I’m going to email the help desk (after regular office hours, so no calling) and explain. Hopefully they can reset the application. I’ll also email my boss. If I accept full responsibility*, apologise, and grovel, then he can’t fire me.
Right?
And if I go home and make a lovely dinner for my husband and his friend, then I’ll forget all about it and have a good night’s sleep.
Right?
Right.
6) Shock
Tra la la, it’s a bright and sunny morning, everything will be OK, especially if I have some caffeine to offset the lack of sleep. Better check my email first though, to see if the help desk people have replied.
OHMYFUCKINGGOD THEY CAN’T RESET IT.
7) Chocolate
Quick, escape to the friendly local coffee shop; I need some anti-stress therapy in the traditional Trauma Cookie format. Oh, but look, a bar of organic, fair trade, chili & spice chocolate from Cocoa Camino, right next to the till. Mmmmmmmmmmm, ethilicious.
8) Bargaining
OK, we have an email from Massive Sciencey Organisation, saying that our submission is incomplete.
Thank you, I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.
If I return the email, grovel, apologise, and stress that the mistake was not the fault of any of the scientists named on the project, all will be well.
Right?
9) Acceptance
They say we can start our submission again from scratch. No long-term harm done – I hope.
BTW I still don’t have all the required files, so I am no longer the one who is holding up the submission. No, I am a completely innocent party, my friends.
Maybe there’s still some denial going on.
Maybe more chocolate might help.
Hey, maybe this would make a good blog post.
————————–
*the online submission system may have contributed. Possibly. Don’t quote me on that, though.
You can keep your Randy Macaques or whatever they’re called, this was the only shoe (or shoe combo, really) for me today:
In addition, you can keep your sodding Superbowl, this is the best way to spend a snowy afternoon in Vancouver:
that my career aspirations hadn’t changed so much since I was eight.
I suppose it’s possible that in a parallel universe somewhere, I have managed to publish a paper with a title as awesome as the one I just spotted in PLoS ONE:
The email idiocy continues…
For reasons relating to an announcement about a joint California-Canada cancer stem cell funding initiative, I subscribe to all email lists at the California Institute of Regenerative Medicine.
Every mailing list will inevitably result in a mix of useful and useless emails, but today’s message was more useless than most:
As you can see on this map, the border does a weird little blip around these parts in order to incorporate the whole of the Island into Canadian territory. If I’d been reading my citizenship test preparation materials like a good girl, I might be able to tell you whether this act of border manipulation was negotiated peacefully or not. Either way, upon arrival in Sooke my phone sang me its happy little text message song, and I found a “Welcome to America!” message from a US cell phone network, which I thought was a bit presumptuous.
But it didn’t matter, because we were in heaven. We had a beautiful little cottage overlooking the water, with a hot tub on the deck. The upstairs bedroom was smaller than the master suite downstairs, but we slept there anyway on account of the two-countries-for-the-price-of-one view towards Washington’s Olympic Peninsula.

I do like Vancouver Island. We walked on the beach, saw a seal and loads of eagles (but no whales unfortunately), soaked in the South facing hot tub, had a nap, played Scrabble (a rare win for me!), tried some local beer in a redneck bar followed by a lovely dinner in an old (by local standards) and allegedly haunted pub, and finished the day with some chocolate brownies and more local beer in the hot tub. It was interesting though that I didn’t have my usual reaction to small town BC – almost every time we visit my mother-in-law on the Sunshine Coast, I get the urge to drop everything, leave the city, and buy a wee place by the water. Not so this time – perhaps it was the chill in the air and the early sunset, despite our attempts to pretend that it wasn’t actually winter.
No trip to the Island is really complete without a ferry ride. In an unprecedented move the following day, we arrived at the terminal five minutes before the ferry was due to leave – and got on. Fortified by some hot mint tea and BC Ferries’ excellent chips and gravy, we spent most of the trip on deck, continuing our “it’s actually summer” delusion.

Very cold and windswept seagull catching a free ride at the back of the ferry
I didn’t see any whales this time, but the narrowest point on the route contained several seals and a variety of bird life, no doubt feasting on an abundant supply of fish. Duly inspired, we headed home for an evening of chores… and sushi.
Have I ever mentioned that I really enjoy living in Vancouver?
I am in retro geek heaven!
The BBC website tells me that Red Dwarf is returning for a two-part special over Easter.
Red Dwarf was the only programme that I absolutely HAD to watch (or video) every week. The neighbours’ kids probably have all kinds of traumatic memories of their babysitter yelling at them to turn off the cartoons NOW so she could tune in. My geekier friends and I spent much of our early teenage years discussing the relative merits of the episodes set on the Red Dwarf itself as opposed to the Starbug, and of the male versus the female Holly (I preferred the former in both cases, by the way). Not to mention the Emohawk and the Vindaloo Monster. I read the novels, I bought the videos, I watched (and taped) the BBC “making of” and outtakes specials.
Red Dwarf was also my gateway drug into the world of Douglas Adams, and for that I am eternally grateful.
I do hope that the new episodes are immediately available for fully authorised and legal purchase on the internet.