Gonna go where the bright lights and the big city meet

No red guitar (on fire*) in sight, though, just this:

Pretty soon everybody got one

Two questions:

1) Why does anything need to be taken beyond anyone’s desires? Let alone a toilet, of all things?

2) Just how beautiful does anyone desire a shopping mall bathroom to be, anyway? As long as it’s a) clean, b) functional, and c) well-stocked with paper and soap, I don’t, um, give a shit (sorry) how gorgeous it is.

Incidentally, the poster was located right next to a garbage can that quietly said “thank you” when I put my Subway sandwich wrapper in it. I wasn’t sure if I’d heard right (there was lots of background noise), so I asked Mr E Man if it had also spoken to him when he got rid of his tray. He replied that it had, thereby depriving himself of the immense entertainment of lying and then watching me freak out about hearing imaginary voices in garbage cans.

Man, I hate malls. I wish they weren’t so convenient.


*For the people going “WTF is Cath talking about this time?”

About Cath@VWXYNot?

"one of the sillier science bloggers [...] I thought I should give a warning to the more staid members of the community." - Bob O'Hara, December 2010
This entry was posted in idiocy, rants, shopping, silliness, Vancouver. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Gonna go where the bright lights and the big city meet

  1. HGGirl says:

    “Beyond your desires” sounds too much like “outside the realm of what you actually want.”

  2. Eva Amsen says:

    Best washroom ever (just so Oakridge knows who they need to beat and where people’s desires are) is in Lahore TIkka House in Toronto. Tikka House is a Pakistani restaurant that is perpetually under renovation. There’s an area that’s basically just a giant garage with plastic tables, and full of random crap, with boards on the floor and pieces of fabric (random colours, whatever they could find) on the walls. It’s always like that. It’s a mess. But the food is great, and so is the washroom.

    The washroom is in the garage-y area of the restaurant, and you have to walk through the kitchen to get there. The further you walk, the dumpier and constructiony-er the place gets. But then! You turn a corner and there’s a little building inside of the half-finished main building, and that little building is BEAUTIFUL, like a castle! It’s the washrooms! Mosaic on the walls and new taps and shiny-ness and a TV playing cartoons in the baby changing room which is a separate room off the women’s section of the washroom. And there’s potpourri and everything is nice and wonderful. It’s like an oasis, in the chaos of the restaurant.

    That is where my washroom desires are, and that is what the mall should aim for.

    (Note: part of the charm is the transition, so they may have to tear down the rest of the mall, to really offset the washroom area.)

  3. Makita says:

    Cath, if you’re ever in this area, I should take you our local mall. Every time I use their facilities I’m amazed!

  4. Cath@VWXYNot? says:

    HGGirl, yes indeed. I wonder how much this is costing them, for something they freely admit that no-one actually wants?!

    Eva, sounds awesome! (Especially the cartoons!)

    Makita, um, thanks?!

  5. bean-mom says:

    That sign is awesome and Vancouver is awesome (I wanted to meet that talking trashcan)

  6. Bob O'H says:

    When the rubbish bin says ‘thank you’, don’t you want to sat ‘fuck off you pile of shit’ back at it?

  7. Mike says:

    I could show you some ‘washrooms’ in Helsinki bars that would amaze you. Mostly that health and safety in a developed country would allow these places to keep their doors open. The beauty went so far beyond desires that it came almost full circle. Almost, but not quite enough.

  8. Bean-mom, if I’d known, I would have taken you there instead of to the boring old aquarium!

    Bob, um, no? Maybe next time though.

    Mike, and I thought Makita would make a bad tour guide! At least she wants to show me nice toilets!

    • Bob O'H says:

      Mike has some strange ideas about what constitutes a romantic evening.

      • Mike says:

        With my little monster rapidly approach 1 yr old, I’ll take romance wherever I can damn well get it. Whether that be in Roskapankki’s stinkin’
        bogs or not.

        I’m already regretting typing this.

  9. The Royal Society ladies’ toilets are pretty damned swanky. It’s got lots of mirrors, a makeup area, real towels, tissues, comfy chairs in case you want to hang out, and those awesome Diamond hand dryers that are so powerful they can suck off a layer of epithelium.

    • Bob O'H says:

      If you’re talking intellectual establishments, The Isaac Newton Institute (a place set up to keep mathematicians in coffee and away from the real world) has blackboards in its toilets.

      • Cath@VWXYNot? says:

        Perhaps a world tour of friends’ favourite (or at least most notable) facilities is in order. I should start in Finland, so I have nice loos to visit after I get sick from visiting those that make up such an integral part of the Helskinki bar scene.

        • Mike says:

          Well, if you start your tour with a visit to Helsinki on the 1st of May, you’ll find that the toilets have a wonderful view. Unfortunately, this is largely explained by the fact that all the locals are getting hammered outdoors, and there’s a distinct shortage of outdoor toilets.

        • Mike says:

          “Helskinki”? Was that a reference to the Roskapankki toilets again?

          • Bob O'H says:

            That would be Helstinki, at best.

          • Cath@VWXYNot? says:

            Heh – good typo. I’m pretty sure that hell’s kinky, given the people likely to end up there, and also that Roskapankki toilets are hellishly stinky.

    • Eva Amsen says:

      Oh yeah, I’ve been there! I recognise the toilets from the description!

    • ricardipus says:

      That description is making me feel that the RS might be discriminating against me. What are the men’s toilets like?

  10. Oakridge mall is trying to become family friendly, so huge bathrooms which having nice sitting areas for new moms (who are uncomfortable nursing in public) to nurse and not feel like they are nursing in a bathroom. Since all the big malls are doing that now, I”m guessing that is what they are doing….

  11. Cath@VWXYNot? says:

    yeahbut… the other (much larger) washrooms are already actually very nice, with private areas and such. The ones behind this sign (in the food court) are teeny tiny, with barely enough room for the necessary hardware!

    I prefer Pacific Centre mall – much better clothes, shoes, and food court – but Oakridge is way closer and easier to get to, which makes it the first choice when we’re just going somewhere like the Bay to buy non-clothes items.

  12. Wow, I am surprised by how many comments this is generating and really blackboards in a toilet??? bc you can’t wait to wash your hands and come outside BEFORE writing the answer to that really really hard equation??

    • Bob O'H says:

      These are mathematicians. They also have blackboards in the lifts, just in case a discussion sparks an idea. I used to be in a maths department, and I can see it happening.

    • Mike says:

      The real beauty of this system is that it saves paper. Chalk dust can be very absorbent.

    • Cath@VWXYNot? says:

      I’ve given up trying to predict which posts will get the most comments. It’s all part of the joy of blogging!

  13. Stephen says:

    Yay – U2!

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