Trees do the darndest things!

Like celebrate their British roots:

and, um, be intimate with fence posts:

Both photos taken by me within the last week. Evolution in action, or just an overactive imagination (and a dirty mind?)

(I did try to write a proper post, by the way, but I’m too tired. I’ll try again tomorrow).

Posted in nature, photos, silliness | 14 Comments

A walk in the woods: choose wisely

Which path would you choose?
Would the adjacent sign affect your decision?
 (Shmeegs?)
Would you consider the relative scariness and likelihood of this…
…compared to this?
Would the sight of vultures circling overhead affect your decision making?
 (is there a fresh bear kill in the woods, or are they waiting for the siren dinner bell?)
This was our final choice.
It seemed to be a good one.

This was our Sunday lunchtime cool-down during The Big Time Out, a music festival in Cumberland on Vancouver Island. The record-breaking heat (something like 36C on Saturday – that’s 97F) may have affected my opinion somewhat, but I have to say that while it was a fun weekend and an amazing setting,

the line-up was a bit of a disappointment. Lots of “this is OK” or “oh, these guys have some decent stuff”, not much “WOW, these guys are AWESOME!”

Saturday was especially meh – the opening act was the best one all day, and while the headliners (Broken Social Scene) were also very good, the penultimate band had managed to suck most of the energy out of the crowd by the time they came on, so it was all a bit muted.

Sunday was better – the dip in the river was better preparation for the day than sweating in the tiny patch of shade thrown by our hastily rigged tarp had been the day before. But while the headliner K’naan rocked the house as usual, he didn’t have any new songs; it was essentially the same set we saw him do in Vancouver in March 2009. I guess a whole year spent on the World Cup music tour precludes much writing of new material. But still, great set, and he and a couple of other bands we saw over the two days (Ruby Jean and the Thoughtful Bees, Vitaminsforyou, Mutaytor, Kim Churchill, and especially Tambura Rasa) inspired some happy “dancing barefoot on the grass” moments in me. And as this was a very small festival, there was a really nice friendly atmosphere with lots of happy people and little kids running around all over the place. All very different to my previous music festival experiences – all in Scotland, at massive events with two stages, multiple gig tents, fairgrounds, and drunken Scots everywhere!

Overall though, my main impression of the event was of overwhelming, baking heat. Oh, except at night, when it was freezing! There was about an hour of comfortable temperature in the morning, and maybe a couple of hours in the evening, but the rest of the time was spent either sweating buckets and trying not to move, or shivering in all the clothes I’d brought. The festival and adjacent campsite were in an open field, with very little shade. We got lucky and bagged a spot next to the fence, so we pooled resources (tarps and blankets) with one of our neighbours to set up a small patch of (still baking hot) shade between the fence and our tents. The poor people who arrived later and camped in the middle of the field had no shade at all though. It’s rained at every single other music festival I’ve ever been to – on one memorable occasion at T in the Park in Scotland it got so muddy that some of the tents in the sloping campsite started to slide downhill – and that’s always miserable and muddy and nasty, but surely there’s a happy medium somewhere!

In these circumstances, we declared this frozen mango impaled on a stick

to be the best thing ever invented in the history of humanity. I literally felt new energy flooding back into my poor heat-sensitive Celtic body as I ate it.

Mmmmmm, mangogasm.

There was also the usual lack of sleep that you get at festivals. The tents were all packed in like sardines, and some of our other neighbours were the loudest, douchiest, most obnoxious people on the site. Their conversation kept everyone in the vicinity awake from 1 – 5:30 am on the first night as one guy shared tales of all his sexual conquests in quite an aggressive, nasty way (and repeated everything at least once to make sure he’d been heard). At one point I whispered to Mr E Man “wow, that guy must have a really, really small penis”, and after that we referred to him as Douchebag McTinydick, which made us feel better – as did the news Mr E Man overheard on Monday morning that the whole group had been so hungover and tired after that night that they fell asleep in their camp chairs and missed K’naan on the Sunday!

Karma – don’t you just love it?!

Like I say though, overall it was a good weekend, with the swim in the river being the highlight. Oh, and we saw dolphins from the ferry on the way back, which was awesome! We might go back to The Big Time Out in the future, depending on the line-up (and the weather forecast), but our shade-sharing neighbour also gave us lots of tips about other small festivals she’s been to around BC that are apparently much better. There’s a jazz / world music festival in Kaslo (a nine hour drive from Vancouver) where the stage floats on a lake, and the crowd can wade in the lake up to their waists while listening.

Watch this space… Summer 2011… maybe!

Posted in bad people, camping, food glorious food, music, nature, photos, travel | 15 Comments

FEAR ME

FOR I AM ALL-POWERFUL

Until this week, I would have said that my super-powers are limited to the following:

  • Locating any spider’s web within a 5 metre radius, using only my face
  • Locating submerged rocks in the ocean, using only my bare feet
  • Turning wine into water

However, over the last few days I have not only caused a peer-reviewed paper to be retracted, but also influenced the outcome of the upcoming US House of Representatives elections.

Inadvertent, but still impressive.

The paper retraction came about as a result of a tweet I posted after spotting something unusual in my journal table of contents RSS feeds:

The tweet inspired Bob O’Hara to write a post about the paper, and the story then got picked up by Tara C. Smith (as a direct result of Bob’s post) and PZ Myers (I’m not sure where he first heard about the paper, but he linked to Tara’s post).

The editor of the journal left comments on all the posts the next day, saying that the paper was being retracted, and apologising for the mistake! See Bob’s comment thread for one example.

Blimey, I wasn’t expecting THAT when I rattled off that quick tweet! I almost feel guilty*, except that the paper really was very bizarre and unscientific. I’m all in favour of the occasional silly entry in the peer reviewed literature (e.g. here), but feel that it should be marked as such, or made obvious by the date of publication. April 1st springs to mind… Also, it appears that at least one of the authors had intended the paper as a serious attempt at thought provocation.

I think the comments around the internet about “humourless atheists” are off-base, though – most of the comments I’ve read are full of humourous piss-taking!

My influence over the US elections came about as a result of this book review. Apparently the author is currently running for office as a US Representative, and someone who lives in that district found my book review when Googling all the candidates. This voter then emailed me yesterday, to thank me – he explained that he has a rule against voting for creationists, and based on my review he’s decided not to vote for the book’s author!

(For the record, I’m not sure that the author’s an out-and-out old-skool religious creationist. From what I’ve read in the book and then in his comments on my review post, I’d classify him more as a proponent of some weird modified form of intelligent design).

I’m thinking that this might be a good week to buy a lottery ticket.

————–

*I’d like to direct your attention to this egregious little bit of buck-passing:

Posted in atheism, book review, case-study, creationism, current affairs, evolution, meta, politics, publishing, science, silliness | 15 Comments

TMA: Too Many Acronyms

My Computer files and email inbox are awash, overflowing, drowning in the acronyms used by various funding agencies, academic institutes, media outlets, and assorted other organisations.

I’m sure many of my readers have the same issue. However, my problem is Compounded by working on (mainly) Breast Cancer in British Columbia, Canada – with American, British, and Canadian Collaborators. So the same letters tend to occur over and over:

  • A is for Agency, Alberta, Alliance, America, American, or Association
  • B is for Breast, British, or Broadcasting
  • C is for Canada, Canadian, Cancer, Center, Centre, Centres, Collaborative, Columbia, Consortium,  Corporation, or Council
  • F is for Foundation or Fund
  • I is for Innovation, Institute, or Institutes
  • N is for National or Network
  • S is for Science or Society

R is always for research and H is always for Health, for which I suppose I should be grateful.

Put any of these letters together in any Combination, and I probably have a matching folder somewhere.

Let’s see, I have folders for the following: AACR, ACRI, BCCA, BCCRC, BCCF, CBC, CBCF, CBCRA, CCSRI, CFI, CIHR, CRUK, GBC, NCE, NCI, NCIC, NIH, NSERC, and OICR.

So today, Checking my Credit Card Balance online, I was Confused to see a payment to an entity Called BCF.

Very Confused.

Was there a new player in town? The British Columbia Foundation? The Breast Cancer Fund? The Broadcasting Centre Foundation? British Central Fund? Boring Christmas Food? Burgeoning Cat Fur? Big Chaotic Frenzy? Bring Cath Fudge?

And why the Bloody Cockeyed Fuck am I giving them money??!!

Until I realised the item was related to our upcoming trip to Vancouver Island.

A trip that necessitates paying a reservation fee to BC Ferries.

I think I need to get out more.

Posted in Canada, career, communication, English language, grant wrangling, science, silliness, travel, UK | 21 Comments

Blogging motivation, philosophy and experience meme

Alyssa tagged me for a meme!

This is the first one I’ve seen for a while; I thought they were an endangered species!

The aim of this one is:

1. Sum up your blogging motivation, philosophy and experience in exactly 10 words.

2. Tag 10 other blogs to perpetuate the meme.


I’ll do the first part – as you may remember, I prefer not to tag individuals.

“Share the smiles: mostly silly, with a chance of science”.

I like words 4-10 best. In fact, I might modify the text on my banner to include them!

If this made you smile, and you haven’t been tagged by someone else yet – consider yourself tagged!

Posted in meme, meta | 6 Comments

Smile through the tears

Is this supposed to cheer you up while you chop onions with your eyes streaming?

It certainly cheered me up no end while grocery shopping!

Thank you, Nesters Market on Main Street, for making my day today!

Posted in food glorious food, photos, silliness | 14 Comments

Is it any wonder I’m addicted to Facebook?

My friends crack me up.

(Each person has their own colour).

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B: (background: these are comments on my status update about not being able to get my hands on an iPhone 4 yet. Between my original update and these comments, I’d posted a second update about how I was at the dentist watching the news on the ceiling TV and my dentist suddenly stopped to ask if I was OK because I’d involuntarily winced – as if in pain – when Stephen Harper appeared on the screen).

It’s almost as much fun as blogging about dental floss!

Posted in drunkenness, food glorious food, furry friends, personal, politics, silliness, technology | 8 Comments

Friday Quiz: Scrambled Geometry

My sister-in-law got me a “puzzle of the day” desk calendar for Christmas. She apologised profusely for not getting me anything “better” (by which she meant “more expensive”), but honestly it’s one of the best presents I got! Some of the puzzles are dumb, but lots of them are really fun, and just occasionally there’s a science or maths themed entry that provides me with excellent blog fodder.

This one’s a set of geometry-related anagrams, perfect for a Friday quiz for my readers!

  1. ALARM GALLOPER is PARALLELOGRAM (PIKA)
  2. BARLEY HOP is HYPERBOLA (BOB)
  3. EARTH RODENT is TETRAHEDRON (BOB)
  4. GREY TIN MOTOR is TRIGONOMETRY (ARINK)
  5. HOP DEARLY is POLYHEDRA (SILVER FOX)
  6. NUCLEAR DIPPER is PERPENDICULAR (PIKA)
  7. PRIME TREE is PERIMETER (PIKA)
  8. READ TIME is DIAMETER (ARINK)
  9. RELATE QUAIL is EQUILATERAL (ARINK)
  10. SEES COILS is ISOSCELES (BOB)
  11. TO SCRIBE is BISECTOR (PIKA)
  12. UPSET HONEY is HYPOTENUSE (BOB)

Answer in the commentsbut please submit only one answer per person per hour, to give as many people as possible a chance to play before Bob attempts to sweep the board like he did last time. Oh, and there’s no need to answer in the right order – choose any anagram you like!

I’ll update the post with the answers and bragging rights as and when I get time, and I’ll add clues if there are any unanswered questions after a day or two.

Have fun!

Posted in competition, English language, family, science, silliness | 41 Comments

Next-generation paranoia

I’m back from my trip with more photos than I can reasonably fit into a blog post, so please bear with me while I attempt to cull the collection! Until then, it’s enough to say that it was an amazing experience that proved once again that there is simply nowhere else I’d rather be than the BC coast in summer.

Luckily, I have plenty of post ideas that don’t require any agonising decisions over which photos to ditch. Here’s one about a dream I had the night before we launched.

——–

In my dream, I was on one of my twice-annual trips to San Diego to meet with collaborators. As always, I was part of a group from my institute that consisted of four or five PIs plus me, and after an interesting first day of meetings, our wonderful hosts had taken us out for a wine-soaked dinner on a sunny patio. One of the senior hosts had brought a friend, but forgot to introduce him to the group. The friend told a distinctly unfunny joke… and then got in my face angrily demanding to know why I hadn’t laughed. When I replied that I was sorry but I just didn’t think the joke was all that funny, he yelled “WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA???!!!”, tipped my chair backwards, threw a bag over my head, and man-handled me into a vehicle. I could hear everyone at our table loudly protesting and saying they were going to call the cops, and my assailant shouting “I’m the head of the fucking CIA! Call the fucking cops, they won’t do nothing!!!!”

I was taken to a tiny, dark cell filled with people, had the bag roughly pulled off my head, and was told that I would rot in jail. I had all my belongings taken from me* and was not allowed to call my husband, my boss, or the Canadian (or British) embassy.

My cellmates asked what had happened, and when I told them they said “DUDE!!! You always laugh at the head of the CIA’s jokes!”

After a long and scary night, and then many hours of waiting the following day, I was finally summoned from the cell and told I was free to go. The desk staff were clearly embarrassed, and one female officer apologised for her boss’s drunken temper tantrum as she handed me back my belongings. “He’s just an ass”, she explained helpfully, and called me a cab.

I asked the cab driver to take me to our collaborators’ facility, where I found the second day of meetings in full flow, with one of our PIs in the middle of a PowerPoint presentation and people excitedly asking lots of questions. Everyone looked round as I entered, and someone said “oh good, they let you go then?”

“Why the fuck didn’t you come and get me??!!” I demanded, not unreasonably given the circumstances.

“Sorry Cath”, said one of our PIs. “We were going to, but the conversation about our latest next-gen sequencing results just got soooo interesting! Look at this slide, this is a totally novel finding!”

Cue me waking up, equal parts disturbed and amused.

The moral of this story?

It’s wonderful to have colleagues who are passionate about their work. Really, it is – it’s one of the main perks of my job.

However, if you’re so completely dedicated to your research that you make your colleagues have paranoid dreams about you letting them rot in a jail cell rather than disrupt your conversation about your latest results, maybe it’s time to ease up a little, eh?**

——–

*the list under “contents of purse” included “iPhone”. Under “contents of iPhone”, I wrote “life”. This dream was clearly trying to tell me many, many different things.

**none of my colleagues would ever actually do this for real. I don’t think. I guess it depends on which project they’re discussing.

Posted in science, silliness, technology, travel | 16 Comments

Sound as a pound

Right, we’ve got charts, a compass, tide tables, two Swiss Army knives, bear spray, and an air horn*, and we’re off on an adventure! (Well, we’re actually off to my mother-in-law’s today, which isn’t all that adventurous, even when our nephews are there, which they are. The adventure starts tomorrow morning).

If anyone needs me I’ll be on a horse in a kayak, somewhere in Desolation Sound (so called because Captain Vancouver saw it on a bad day. Apparently it’s beautiful and not at all desolate – at least not in summer).

Oh, and our tenant’s still going to be around, so don’t even think about breaking into our house while we’re away! He’s a seriously big dude (6 foot 7 and built like a brick shithouse) who’s bodyguarded for Jean Claude van Damme and Vin Diesel, among others. He’s loaned us his bear spray; he often comes across bears in the course of his (non bodyguarding) work duties, but they run away from him. Seriously. He has an example of this kind of interaction caught on a tape from a work security camera, but I’m not allowed to post it.

He’s the big one in this photo – and bear (hah!) in mind that none of the other three guys is exactly petite.

Left to right: Mr E Man, my Dad, our massive tenant, baby Lilah’s Dad

He’s also a fantastic cat sitter, and the kitties love him.

BTW, expect (slightly) more science blogging than you’ve been used to when I get back! (Don’t worry, you can skip the science posts if you’re not interested. Same goes for any other kind of post, obviously, although I assume that every single reader is riveted by the ongoing dental floss conversation).

——————
*Conversation while reserving kayaks:

Me: “is there much bear activity up there at the moment?”
Woman in kayak shop: “there’s one on the lawn right now! It’s looking at me through the window!”
Me: “…”

Hence the bear spray and air horn.

Posted in camping, kayaking, meta, nature, travel | 11 Comments