RBO Parents

  • Nothing says “generation gap” to me quite like ironing. I haven’t ironed anything for years – not since I worked in industry and had to dress like a grownup, and even then it was only occasionally. My philosophy is that if you pull things out of the dryer quickly enough, or hang them correctly during air drying, they don’t need to be ironed. My Mum, on the other hand, irons pretty much everything except underwear. Casual t-shirts, pajamas, pillow cases – she’ll iron ’em. I do have an ironing board and iron, but couldn’t find the latter when asked for it. I emptied all the cupboards and couldn’t find it anywhere. My parents were leaving for their Alaskan cruise the next day, and actually made me call a couple of friends to see if they could borrow an iron before they left. No-one had one, so… they went out and bought a new one. Then made a point of keeping it in their room while they’re here “in case anything happens to it”.
  • My parents have more conversations with strangers in a couple of weeks in Vancouver than I manage in a year. They come back every day with stories of meeting a couple from Australia, a woman who works for the Canucks, a lovely old lady from Germany etc etc etc. I guess it’s due to spending most of their time in touristy places with other people who are more relaxed and ready to talk than your average Vancouverite. 
  • They also have a habit of bumping into people they know – they went on a snowshoeing excursion in Alaska and met the parents of a girl who used to play netball with my sister. Every trip, I swear.
  • They found out about my tattoo. I was planning on bringing it up in the next couple of days, because we’re renting a place in Whistler with a hot tub next week, but a friend forced the issue at a party last night. He asked me – quietly, but right in front of my Dad – what my parents thought of my tattoo. I threw said “friend” a filthy look, and hoped that my Dad hadn’t heard. A little while later, my Mum commented (coincidentally. Or maybe not.) that there were a lot of people with tattoos in the room – “much more than in England” – and I decided to bite the bullet. I didn’t show it off until this morning, and the reaction was “Oh, that’s not too bad! It’s very big, though” (Mum) and “I suppose it could be worse” (Dad). Considering that they don’t like a) tattoos and b) me being Canadian, the reaction could also have been worse (and possibly will be, in private!)
  • I have confirmed that my complete inability to dance is genetic – on both sides of the family

Mr E Man tries to show my Mum how it’s done. He can’t dance either, though.

We’re leaving tomorrow for a circuit of South-Western BC, encompassing visits with my sister-in-law, a golf / spa stay in Whistler, and a visit with my mother-in-law. I’ll be offline for the whole week… wish me luck!

Posted in drunkenness, family, personal, photos, silliness | 19 Comments

Is this creepy, or is it just me?

The concept of complete strangers “following” me on Twitter took a bit of getting used to. But now that I’m a few months in, it takes something a wee bit out of the ordinary to activate that “STALKER!!1!” response.
Picture 11
Hmmm…

Posted in silliness, the wonders of technology | 5 Comments

More fun with logos

In searching for a better version of the London 2012 logo to use in my last post, I came across some real gems in Google Images.

I think we all looked at the original logo and thought “hell, I could do better than that”. These people set out to prove it:

Very, very nice – I like the top one best, but the bottom one is also excellent. The middle one’s a bit meh, but it’s still better than the official logo.

This person went in another direction:

Says it all, really.

Posted in art, silliness, sport, UK | 5 Comments

2012 LOLympics

I have had an incredibly hard time not laughing out loud at my desk today.

If you thought the London 2010 Olympic logo was bad (and it really, really is),

you should see the mascots!

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!! What the fuck were they smoking thinking??!! As if the actual design isn’t bad enough, the execution is awful too – the one on the left is all lumpy, FFS!

More hilarious photos here

I know a lot of people didn’t like the Vancouver 2010 mascots, especially when they first saw them, but I thought they were pretty good. Except for Quatchi, of course – Quatchi is AWESOME. I bet he could kickWenlock or Mandeville’s ass any day of the week.

Although Quatchi loves all winter sports, he’s especially fond of hockey. He dreams of becoming a world-famous goalie. Because of his large size, he can be a little clumsy. But no one can question his passion. He knows that if he works hard and always does his best, he might one day achieve his dream. Quatchi is always encouraging his friends to join him on journeys across Canada. He is also often recruiting others to play hockey – or at least to take shots at him!

The sasquatch is a popular figure in local native legends of the Pacific West Coast. The sasquatch reminds us of the mystery and wonder that exist in the natural world, igniting our imagination about the possibility of undiscovered creatures in the great Canadian wilderness.

A hockey-playing sasquatch? Now THAT is a mascot.

Suck it, London!

(But thanks for the giggles)

Posted in 2010 Olympics, freakishness, photos, silliness, sport, UK | 22 Comments

Cyclist WIN is scientist FAIL

As many of you already know1, I’m currently in training for a 260 km (160 mile) bike ride from Vancouver to Seattle. Having my parents in town has hampered my training efforts somewhat, but they were bobbing around somewhere off the coast of Alaska this last weekend, giving me the opportunity to head out for two nice long rides.
I managed just over 90km on Saturday – my longest ride to date – and felt fine until the final few hills. (Why oh why did I ever think it was a good idea to buy a house at the top of a big hill, just a few blocks away from the highest point in this very hilly city? Every damn ride ends with a steep climb).
Getting back on my bike the next day, I felt significantly less fine. The first descent was OK, but then I had to haul myself up another hill before I could start coasting down to the lovely new skytrain / bike / pedestrian bridge over the river.
At this point, I got stuck behind two slower cyclists who were having a lovely chat about their dogs. You know when you’re behind someone who’s going slowly enough that it feels frustrating, but not quite so slowly that you can pass them quickly and safely? It was one of those situations, which are a constant source of minor irritation on my daily commutes and weekly training rides. With all those kilometres ahead of me still to cover, I knew I had to step it up a notch and push past them. But, ouch.
At this point, I became aware that the two men were talking about a phantom pregnancy. In a dog.
Now, this was interesting stuff! I didn’t know that non-human animals could have phantom pregnancies! I thought it was a human psychological condition, not something strictly biological! How fascinating! (And how convenient!)
The following debate ensued:
Cyclist brain: “hurry hurry hurry! Get past them! What are you waiting for?! Gotta cover those kilometres! And think of your average speed!”
Scientist brain: “but this is interesting! I’m a scientist, damnit, and I want to listen some more!”
Cyclist brain: “no pain no gain! Gotta train, gotta train!”
Scientist brain: “a phantom pregnancy! In a dog! I want to know what happened next! This is SCIENCE!!!
Legs: “I agree with the scientist”
Cyclist brain: “Shut up, legs!”

(photo link posted on Facebook last week by my crazy Ironman triathlete friend)
Legs: “NO! Scientist brain needs science! And why do you have to be such a bee-hatch?”
Scientist brain: “word”
Cyclist brain: “dude. 260 km. In five weeks. You are gonna DIE out there if you don’t do what I say.”
Slower cyclist: “Oh, do you want past? Sorry, I was too engrossed in my conversation”
Me: “me too2
So I got past them, did 63km in total, and never did get to find out how or why a dog would have a phantom pregnancy.
Does anyone know of a t-shirt I can buy that says “shut up, scientist brain”?

1 and are no doubt sick of hearing about. Sorry! Don’t worry, just another 33 days to go!

2 I didn’t really say that. But I should have. I thought they might think I was crazy – it’s an easy assumption to make when I’m all red faced and sweaty like that, with unruly hair flying around my face. I’ve been too busy training and hosting guests to get a hair cut!

Posted in science, silliness | 4 Comments

Safety first!

Our various sets of friends who had babies last year have done very well for themselves – all babies are healthy and cute, and thanks to gifts from friends and family with older kids, they’ve barely had to buy anything themselves. Case in point: Morgan‘s parents have been given several car seats for kids of various sizes. So when my friends brought their 18 month old to visit earlier this year, we knew who to turn to for a loaner seat.

The problem came when we wanted to give the seat back. Our friends had just been given a new and better seat, and said that we could keep the other one.

Oh goody, just what I’ve always wanted.

Lilah‘s parents don’t need it either, so it’s just sitting in our house until we find time to take it to a charity of some sort.

But at least someone’s getting some use out of it:

Posted in furry friends, photos, the 2009 baby boom | 9 Comments

Science Idol

The BBC’s “Science and Environment” RSS feed included a real gem today*: news of a competition in which members of the public were asked to submit ideas for research projects. The four winners will be mentored by experts in their chosen field as they design and conduct the appropriate experiments, and then (hopefully) write them up for publication.

This is an absolutely brilliant idea, and I hope the BBC will continue to support (and report on) this initiative.

The article also reminded me of recurring conversations I’ve had with various scientist friends about our own fantasy research projects. The ones we would undertake if we had the time, resources, and specialist knowledge. The first is (more or less) within my field of expertise, the other is way, way outside it, but here goes – please feel free to submit reviewers’ comments on each proposal!

Project I: a comparison of human and equine malignant melanomas.

My flatmate and all-round best friend during my PhD days was a physiologist who specialized in equine gastrology. She’s been around horses her whole life, in roles from stable girl to veterinary assistant to physiologist to punter at the races, and loves to talk about her work whenever possible.

She mentioned just in passing one day that she’d just assisted at the necropsy of a white horse, and said “much less melanoma than usual”.

“Um, what?”, asked the person who worked at the cancer research centre just up the road from the vet school.

It turns out that a majority of white horses have extensive metastatic melanoma throughout their entire body, a condition that may be genetically related to their pigmentation.

My friend described the art of necropsy of white horses as “pulling out big black nodules like bunches of grapes to try and get to the organs to find the cause of death”.

“The melanoma’s not the cause of death?”

“No! They can live like that for years!”

Apparently this is something that every vet just knows. Y’know, like every cancer researcher just knows that malignant melanoma in humans is an extremely aggressive disease that’s often fatal in just a few months.

But apparently, vets don’t often talk to cancer researchers. Unless a university graduate student office happens to assign one person of each type to a shared university flat in their first year, and they end up becoming lifelong friends who enjoy talking about science in pubs.

There are a few clinical reports of “pigmented epithelioid melanocytoma”, aka “equine” or “animal-type” melanoma, in humans. But not one basic cancer researcher I’ve ever talked to had heard of this phenomenon before I mentioned it.

As soon as I heard about melanoma in white horses, I wanted to perform a genetic comparison to human melanomas to try and uncover the reason for the differences in pathology. This was in the late nineties / early noughties, so I was thinking in terms of microarray studies and comparative hybridizations, but none of those approaches were really suitable. Of course now that we have next current generation sequencing technology, the problem is eminently soluble. “All” you need is the human and horse genome sequences (a high-quality draft of the latter is now available), and then normal DNA plus tumour DNA and RNA from each of:

  • a malignant melanoma from a white horse;
  • a pigmented epithelioid melanocytoma from a human;
  • a regular human melanoma;

and Robert’s your father’s brother.

I would love to see this study done, and sincerely hope that someone decides to tackle it in the next few years.

Project II: a comparison of visual response and decision making processes in (ice) hockey goalies and mere mortals.

Have you ever watched a game of (ice) hockey? It’s fast. Scary fast. So fast that it took me months to learn how to follow the puck properly (it’s all about inferring its position, speed and direction from the players’ body language as well as from the brief glimpses of speeding frozen black rubber that you occasionally manage to catch). And the goalies are simply amazing. Here’s a particularly impressive example of the art of the glove save, from the Vancouver Canucks’ Roberto Luongo in last night’s** playoff game that eliminated the LA Kings from Stanley Cup contention. Man, I loves me some regicide.

As soon as I started to get into hockey, I wanted to know how these guys get so good. How on earth do they manage to see the puck in time to stop it? (And why don’t they run away gibbering and crying like normal people instead of trying to make the save?) Again, this discussion came up on a regular basis while watching games in the pub with my geeky friends. Are the parts of the brain that process visual information and turn it into quick decisions simply more developed in these players? If so, is this something that develops over time as they train, or is it innate?

There’s only one even slightly relevant paper in the literature, a 1979 study titled “Visual cues in ice hockey goaltending” (no-one should be surprised that it was published in the Canadian Journal of Applied Sport Science). The study assessed the visual cues that young goalies can pick up from an attacker’s approach on goal, but there was no control group and no real insight into my specific question.

As stated earlier, this study would be far outside my area of expertise. I know that some people find fMRI results, ahem, fishy, but maybe there’s some kind of brain scan that could be done on junior and elite hockey goalies, compared to hockey players who specialise in other positions, elite players of other sports, and average Joes, to see if there are any structural or functional differences there.

Anyway, those are my picks. Does anyone else have a fantasy research project they’d like to see done?

——————
*Not actually today. I originally posted this on t’other blog, where it didn’t get many comments. So I thought you guys might actually like to see some science blogging over here for a change 🙂

**Again, not actually last night, as much as I’d like to turn the clock back and have another chance at Round Two against those Chicago bastards

Posted in case-study, medicine, original research, science, sport | 3 Comments

I am NSFW

SRSLY.
I have the sense of humour of a 14 year-old boy sometimes.
These figures are from a presentation about breast cancer. Is it really really bad that the one on the right made me snicker?
cropped
Luckily, I didn’t LOL.
Bad karma day today.

Posted in silliness | 29 Comments

Employ Yoda, Microsoft must

More fun with Word:

Amused I am, yes.

Posted in English language, silliness, technology | 6 Comments

What will happen if you take your parents to a gig

In chronological order:

  • Your parents will finally announce the start and end dates of their much-discussed five week trip to Vancouver
  • You will dutifully add the dates to your calendar
  • A few weeks later, you will find out that Delhi 2 Dublin are playing the Commodore on May 7th, and you finally have a chance to see them after missing out twice in the last couple of years
  • You will check your calendar and realise that the gig will take place while your parents are in town
  • You will swear
  • You will ask your parents via Skype if they would like to go to see a Celtic-bhangra fusion band
  • They will say “we’re up for anything!”
  • You will buy four tickets to said concert
  • Your sister will say “erm… seriously? HAHAHAHA!”
  • When your parents arrive, you will remind them that you have tickets for a gig on May 7th
  • They will have forgotten, and will look slightly dubious about the concept of Celtic-bhangra fusion music
  • The Canucks will end up playing Game 4 of their second round playoff series on the same night
  • Your husband will threaten not to come to the concert
  • You will call the Commodore, and they will tell you that they do not show hockey games on night when there’s a band on
  • You will swear
  • You will decide to watch the game at home and then jump in a cab and head downtown as soon as it ends
  • You will hope there is no overtime
  • The Canucks will suck
  • You will drink faster than normal during the game because of the tension and frustration of it all 
  • You will realise that overtime is a laughably over-optimistic objective for this game
  • Everyone will swear
  • And again
  • And then some more
  • Your husband will call a cab just as the game ends
  • No-one will be ready to leave as he makes the call, but your husband will confidently say “plenty of time, it’s going to take bloody ages to get a cab tonight”
  • The cab will arrive immediately
  • Everyone will swear and run around the house in a mad panic
  • You will pop to the loo before leaving
  • When you come out, everyone will be outside chasing your cat, who escaped through the front door during the chaos
  • You will swear
  • Everyone will swear
  • The taxi driver will laugh at you all
  • You will be mad at everybody for letting the cat out
  • The cat will evade all attempts at recapture and disappear down the back alley
  • You will swear some more
  • You will get into the cab and go to the gig anyway, although you will be really worried about the cat, who has never been outside at night before and there are raccoons and coyotes and she doesn’t even have her sister with her for backup
  • Everyone will be grumpy in the cab, because of the stoopid cat and the even stoopider Canucks
  • You will tip the driver well for not driving away in disgust during the chaos 
  • You will cheer up a bit when you get IDed at the venue
  • Your Dad will be astonished (and delighted) that beer is available for purchase
  • He will say “do they sell beer at gigs in England?”
  • You will ask him when he last went to a gig*
  • He will admit that he doesn’t remember, but it was probably in the 60s and might have been the Hollies
  • You will drink faster than normal because you’re worried about your cat and mad that no-one was paying attention while she escaped, but don’t want to get into an argument about it at this precise moment
  • There will be several techno DJs as support acts
  • They will mostly suck
  • Your parents will look a bit lost and confused and uncomfortable
  • They will enjoy the break dancers though
  • Your husband will ease the tension by asking your Mum what her favourite song was so far
  • You will gradually lighten up and start to enjoy yourself 
  • You will get into a debate with your Dad about which is worse: to have never seen your team (Newcastle United) win anything in your whole lifetime (me), or to have seen them win something when you were seven and then suffer through a much longer lifetime of disappointment and failure after that (him)
  • You will approach a guy in a Newcastle shirt to ask him to settle the dispute
  • When you get close, you will realise that it’s actually a Juventus shirt
  • You will realise that you are drunk
  • Delhi 2 Dublin will finally come on at about 11:30pm
  • They will rock
  • Everyone will get up and dance
  • Your Dad will astonish you by shouting “I know this song!”
  • You will drag him onto the dance floor
  • You will realise that you are really drunk, but that’s OK because so is your Dad
  • And your husband
  • Everyone will have an awesome time and buy CDs as souvenirs
  • You will get home to find one freaked-out cat with a big bloody scratch on her nose cowering by the back door
  • She will be completely fine after a big cuddle
  • You will declare the evening a huge success
  • You will be very hungover the next day

Next up: what will happen if you take your parents to a Canucks game! Yay Canucks for winning Game 5 after Mr E Man had secured tickets for Game 6! WOOOOOOOOOO!

—————————

*as opposed to a sit-down concert. They go to lots of those

Posted in drunkenness, family, furry friends, music, silliness, sport, Vancouver | 12 Comments