Moved to poetry by….OMICS

Yes, the unfunny joke of a company called OMICS has moved me. Debating between tears and poetry, I opted for the latter, writing my “Epic Omics Limmerick,” provoked by the email pasted below.

Here is my verse:

There once was a dodgy company named Omics

Who pulled scientists names out of phone books

When they offered to Steve

To publish something no one would believe

He told them they were all a bunch o’ predatory crooks

And the email (and just to be clear, I have no connection to cardiovascular pharmacology research — if I wrote a treatise on Old Norse Mythology they would probably publish it as long as it was accompanied by a check or money order):

Dear Dr. Caplan,

Hope you are doing well

We wonder if you could write a Research, review, short review or a short commentary for the Cardiovascular Pharmacology: Open Access.

It would be great if you could submit by March 27th 2015 so that we could process it for the next Issue.

If it is not feasible for you, then please let us know your feasible time to contribute.

To submit the paper as an e-mail attachment to the Editorial Office at [email protected]

Please provide me your acceptance for the same!

We will be waiting for your positive mail.

About Steve Caplan

I am a Professor of Biochemistry and Molecular Biology at the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha, Nebraska where I mentor a group of students, postdoctoral fellows and researchers working on endocytic protein trafficking. My first lablit novel, "Matter Over Mind," is about a biomedical researcher seeking tenure and struggling to overcome the consequences of growing up with a parent suffering from bipolar disorder. Lablit novel #2, "Welcome Home, Sir," published by Anaphora Literary Press, deals with a hypochondriac principal investigator whose service in the army and post-traumatic stress disorder actually prepare him well for academic, but not personal success. Novel #3, "A Degree of Betrayal," is an academic murder mystery. "Saving One" is my most recent novel set at the National Institutes of Health. Now IN PRESS: Today's Curiosity is Tomorrow's Cure: The Case for Basic Biomedical Research (CRC PRESS, 2021). All views expressed are my own, of course--after all, I hate advertising.
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